Miss Congeniality

Victor Melling: (about Gracie) This woman has no talent! I was not told I'd have to provide a talent. Gracie Hart: It's ok, I have a talent. It's sometihng I learned in high school. VIctor Melling: You are not having sex on that stage! Gracie Hart: F.B.I. You might want to stay out of this. Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous... you want to kiss me... you want to date me. [To models refusing pizza and beer.] Gracie Hart: It's lite beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway. Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date. Cheryl "Rhode Island": Well, my idea of a perfect date would be April 23rd. Because it's not too warm or too cold, and all you need is a light jacket. Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me! Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi. Gracie Hart: I would so like to hurt you right now. Victor Melling: As long as you smile. Victor Melling: What, no armored car? Gracie Hart: It's in my other dress. Kathy Morningside: Of couse he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun! Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown. Eric Matthews: Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it. Victor Melling: The last time I saw a walk like that was in "Jurassic Park." Kathy Morningside: I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up. Stan Fields: Especially without their knowledge. Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians -- contestants! [After McDonald sees himself in a bikini on the computer.] Eric Matthews: We were just looking for someone to go undercover at the Miss United States Pageant, sir. McDonald: And I'm the best we got. That doesn't inspire much confidence. Eric Matthews: Don't look at me like I betrayed you. Gracie Hart: No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there! Gracie Hart: Gracie Lou Freebush?! Eric Matthews: I thought you'd like that. Gracie Hart: Yeah, well. My IQ just dropped ten points. Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced. Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself? Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one. Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"? Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate? Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous... You want to kiss me... You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to smooch me... You want to hug me. Stan: What is the one most important thing our society needs? Gracie Hart: That would be... harsher punishment for parole violaters, Stan. [Crowd is silent.] And world peace! [Crowd cheers ecstatically.] Stan: Isn't she lovely! Thank you, Gracie Lou. Gracie Hart: And thank YOU, Stan. [Gracie walks offstage.] Victor Melling: That was wonderful, are you drunk? Gracie Hart: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile! ~ Home ~ Movies ~ Songs ~ Anonymous ~ Women ~ ~ Friendship ~ Life and Success ~ Poems ~ Shakespeare ~ Star Trek ~