Brave New World:
Josh's Survey II
Following the bad reaction to my first survey, I decided that my second had to go in a totally different direction. With that in mind I made a new one July 26, 1999.
Since it was to be totally different from the first, it's almost like it's a savage survey, hence the title Brave New World.
The first survey had all 333 questions (if you want to call them that) all bunched together under a heading of BASIC STUFF. The survey was intended to have many different categories, but I changed my mind. So it was all jumbled together, one qestion after another. But for this survey, I actually did put it in categories. Six categories, with ten questions per category. With 60 questions, the survey was feasable and people would actually fill it out.
And it worked.
What follows is Josh's second survey, in it's entirity, with the introduction and endnotes present. Have fun.
Brave New World:
Josh's Survey II
In the wake of the bad reception that had greeted my previous survey thing, I've decided to back away from the style that I had used before. The random train of thought thing didn't go over to well with everyone. So, I've unanimously decided to ditch the old and create something everyone likes. It all depends on things like the economy to get one of these things right. Unfortunately, this means having to ask reasonable questions and not go rambling off on one subject to the next, totally forgetting about the survey. Plus, it's gotta be short enough so that people will take the time to fill it out, and yet long enough as so it's not a little ditty that no one really cares to take the time on. So, I suppose, without further delay, I present to you my totally new and spiffy survey! Just my little savage. ; )
I. GENERAL.
(The Bare Essentials.)
1. What is your name?
2. What is your date of birth?
3. What is your gender? (Male/Female/Hermaphrodite/Other)
4. What is your shoe size?
5. Are you wearing socks?
6. How well do you know Josh?
7. Did you ever fill out Josh's Original Survey?
8. What kind of M&M's do you like best?
9. What's your favorite breed of hamster?
10. If you were a protist, what species would you be and why? (Two-part question)
II. MEDIA.
("In Your Opinion" type stuff.)
1. What is your favorite song?
2. What is your least favorite song?
3. What is your favorite movie?
4. What is your least favorite movie?
5. What is your favorite TV series?
6. What is your least favorite TV series?
7. What is your favorite animated series?
8. What is your least favorite animated series?
9. What is your favorite book?
10. What is your least favorite book?
III. LOVE & HATE.
(War & Peace stuff.)
1. Are you in any way frightened that I, Josh, am delving into this area?
2. At the current time, are you single or rented out?
3. If you're checked out, then who is the cardholder?
4. If you're single, the have you a crush on anyone?
5. And may I ask whom it is? *nudge nudge*
6. Am I disturbing you?
7. Name someone you hate.
8. Anyone you wanna beat up?
9. If you could hug a mallard duck right now, would you?
10. In the battle between love and hate, which one wins out in the long run?
INTERMISSION.
Go for a potty break, get something to drink, grab a snack.
ENTR'ACTE
IV. BEHAVIOR.
(How You React to Stuff.)
1. How do you rate yourself on the behavior scale, with 1 being calmest and 10 being hyperest.
2. Are you more likely to pick a fight, pout, or walk away if something doesn't go your way?
3. What makes you mad, happy, and sad? (Three-part question.)
4. When someone says "Wiffle Ball," what do you think of?
5. Are you trying to kill yourself? Do you smoke/do drugs/drink alcoholic beverages? (Three-part question)
6. Do you wish I'd just shut-up once in a while?
7. How many potty breaks did you take since you received this survey?
8. Is the glass half empty or half full in your opinion?
9. Describe your sleeping habits.
10. Is this survey agitating you?
V. RELATIONS.
(Those With Whom You Interact.)
1. Who are your bestest friends?
2. Who are your other noteworthy friends?
3. Who is your arch nemesis?
4. Do you get along with your family?
5. Do you get along with the pets if you have any?
6. Name an idiot that you know.
7. MacAfee: What do you think about this lad?
8. What say you about King Worstell?
9. What kind of bath soap do you use?
10. What do you think of Admiral Josh?
VI. END MATTER.
(The End is Here! The End is Here!)
1. Are you glad that the end of the survey is upon us?
2. Which survey did you prefer more? This one or the last one?
3. Should I ever make another?
4. Any last remarks you'd like to make before we bid each other farewell?
5. How do you feel?
6. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
7. Can you tell I'm running out of things to say?
8. How do you take your coffee?
9. Well, here we are at the end. See ya next survey! (Proposed: December 1999)
10. Bye bye!
Okay, so this is it. You know what to do with this thing. Send it out all over the place or print it out and make placemats. Whatever you want, I suppose. But never forget the most important facts of life: Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
See ya in December with the proposed Josh's Survey III: The Search For Stuff.
Ta ta.
~Admiral Josh.
. . .
All in all, this survey went over well. People actually filled it out... ALL OF IT! There's really not much to say about it really.
Except...
For Section IV, Question 4. "When someone says Wiffle Ball, what do you think of?" Everyone answered "A little ball with holes in it", or something similar. I wasn't using an inside joke, or trying to see if you though of Wiffle Balls as anything but the little balls with holes. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I added that. No other reason. Just wanted to see people's responses.
Other things people might not know...
Section V, Questions 7 & 8. MacAfee is the name of someone whom we all fear. A man of action, strength, and courage. Bryan MacAfee is not the man to take lightly. Similarly, Worstell is a god among mortal men. Our teacher, he taught us the correct way of life, although I can't really recall what that way is at the moment, it'll probably come to me someday.
Section VI is when I really ran out of things to say. In fact, Black commented on that when he replied to Question 7. "this is looking like yor last survey now josh" [sic].
But anyway, we do have fun, don't we?
Of course!
This is Admiral Josh, signing off.
Good night everyone.
MAIN.
This page created on 29 July 1999.
