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Wanted For Attempted Murder (The actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her inlaws, and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick
up some groceries. Several people noticed her
sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and
with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the
back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while
became concerned and walked over to the car. He
noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she
looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay,
and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back
of the head, and had been holding her brains in
for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the
car because the doors were locked and Linda
refused to remove her hands from her head. When
they finally got in, they found that Linda had a
wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A
Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the
heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a
gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back
of her head. When she reached back to find out
what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was
her brains.

She initially passed out, but quickly recovered
and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour
until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

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