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You Might Be a Redneck If. . .

1 to 50

1.You've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.

2.Your kid calls your sister, mom.

3.You think icing is what you do to your front steps before your mother in law comes over.

4.You drink gas because you found out you can run two and a half miles per hour faster.

5.You've ever tried to drown a fish.

6.You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.

7.You drink Labatt 50

8.You've ever had to knock the spider webs down to use the bathroom.

9.Your son says, "Dad, can I have a can of mix?"

10.Your Christmas stocking is full of ammo.

11.You go to the DMV to transfer the title to your home.

12.You can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"

13.You wonder why there isn't a hairstyle called "The Hat Line."

14.You actually like Spam.

15.Your pickup truck has a bigger turning radius than your house.

16.You send a request to a major fragrance designer to try to recreate the smell of a dead skunk.

17.Your wife howls at the moon more than your huntin' dogs.

18.The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're only twenty years old.

19.You go swimming in the drainage ditch behind your house.

20.You cuss and refer to your wife, mother, aunt, and sister with one word.

21.Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.

22.You have more pet names for your huntin' dog than for your girlfriend.

23.You mistake the offering plate for a spit can.

24.You go to church to pick up women.

25.You bring your dog with you to church.

26.You think that Australia is ruled by the south because their flags are similar.

27.You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener.

28.Your only tie is made of leather, silver and turquoise.

29.You buy a can of Mountain Dew just to serve as a container to spit tobacco juice in.

30.Your house gets picked up every week.

31.If bar-b-que is a daily thing.

32.You think that the Dark Side is a room in your house.

33.You think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug.

34.You've ever held a guy over your head because of a fight over a CD radio.

35.You think a Ford Mustang is a new bread of horse.

36.You prefer to sleep in the truck than in your house.

37.You have heard more than four people say "Your mamma...she's naked!" before running out of a room with new heart conditions.

38.You've ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.

39.You break wind in public and blame it on your kid.

40.You've ever valet parked a snowplow.

41.You vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.

42.You've ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.

43.You've ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.

44.You kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Year's eve party.

45.You've ever paid for a 6-pack of beer with pennies.

46.There are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.

47.You have a Bud Light pool table light hanging over your dining room table.

48.The strongest smell in your house is butane.

49.Your dog passes gas and you claim it.

50.You've ever mistaken your Aunt Betty for a man.