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Drinking Stories

Many, Many, many new tales coming up in the next couple of weeks. Just you wait.

submitted 12/4/98--- This story comes to us from Someone who will not be named-- This took place last year on the night before Thanksgiving. We were all over at Jason's old house drinking in the basement. There was quite a few of us and it was a great night of drinking, we finished off close to 10 cases. Later in the night everyone was hammered and almost nobody could drive home so almost all of us us spent the night. We won't talk about where I slept. Well everybody was passed out and i was about to fall asleep when i started to hear this noise. I knew something wasn't right so I told a certain person that something was wrong. It sounded like water dripping on the carpet. Then Jason must have heard it too because he jumped up off the floor where he was sleeping and turned on the light. Don was standing towards the staircase with his eyes shut pissing everywhere on the carpet. Jason starts yelling at him," Don your pissing on my carpet, Don your pissing on my carpet, Don you are pissing on my carpet!" Don just keeps saying," You sure about that, you sure about that...." Finally he finishes pissing walks back to the chair he was sleeping in and passes back out. The next day he doesn't remember a thing. The carpet had like a 5ft wide circle of piss near the staircase and he also got some on Jason's ski boot which were near there. What a night.

submitted- 11/17/98 --- To use by Roger Fredrick When I was 17 and in high school I played on the golf team. Our team was a winning machine. 2nd in state back-to-back, then (during this story) a state championship. We were also known for our partying players. Our #1 man (5 guys on varsity) went to Missouri on full-ride. He fucked any bitch he wanted and got drunk anytime he wanted. He had like 3 kids before he was out of high school. All one-nighters. He shot a 65 (real good) in a tournament...drunk. #2 man went on full ride to New Mexico. He fucked alot of bitches too and drink almost as much as #1. #3 man was a druggie and heavy drinker. He also went on a full-ride to big college. All 3 of these guys are pretty much set money-wise. #4 guy was a fat-ass and got prosecuted for rape once. I was the #5 guy. This story's about me. State golf is 2 day thing. This year it was on Mon. & Tues. So we decided to go down to #1's lake house on Friday, play for fun on local course, then go to city hosting state champ. on Sunday. You have to know our coach. He was only about 30 and was like no coach or teacher I've ever known. When we'd go to tournaments in his van, we would cruise the local strip, chew tobacco together, and talk about fucking women. He was the 7th grade science teacher, so we'd all talk about what women teachers we'd fuck. He'd tell us stuff like how it is to fuck your pregnant wife. He was definitely cool. Great golfer, too. A bad-ass. Well, he went down to the lake on Friday with us. I'm talking about the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri. Big lake. All 5 of us guys were planning on getting plastered at the lake house. Big house. #1's parents were staying in the house with us (it was theirs). This house has a boat dock so we start drinking there about sundown. It's May so it's warm. So us 5 players are on the dock drinking, the coach is inside drinking with #1's parents, nothing but cool. I feel like goin' all out tonight so I start by slamming a bottle of schnapps. Then we all drink Milwaukee Beast. Know now, that I was only a weekend high school drunk. Not real alcohol-friendly. So after about 6 beers I'm feeling pretty good. Everyone about now is inside playing pool or something with coach and #1's dad (also an alcoholic). I decide to go swimming and find myself being drug out soon after. I go inside and drink a little with the old guys, then I make my way back down to the dock. The other 4 guys come and join me. We're all drinking good when #1 asks me if I wanted to taste some Kessler and Coke. I recently told him I wanted to taste it, so I agreed. He went inside and came back out with a full cup and the rest of the bottle of Kessler. I down the cup and grap the One Gallon bottle of Kessler which was about half full. I now am about to black out. I never really remember much of the time around this. I do remember chugging the rest of the Kessler pretty quickly and the guys enjoying my act. I blacked out, and fat-ass #4 carried me up to the house(not without slamming my head on the rail), where I passed out on a leather couch. I woke up the next day with what I thought was a normal hang-over. But it lasted all day, and I dropped into a kind of constant daze, day-dream kind of consciousness. It was there on Sunday morning, I couldn't feel my hands, and I couldn't focus on any real action. I tried to play golf on Sunday but had to quit to go sleep in the back of a truck. Monday morning, I was the same. I played this way in the state championship on Monday and Tuesday in 95 degree heat, trying to gain feeling in my hands, trying not to lose my ball, trying not to kill anybody with a golf ball. I'm proud to say, I played on a state champion golf team with a week-long hangover, suffering from alcohol poisoning, and with a team that enjoyed having fun. We are #1 baby!!!!!!!!! R16 12A state champs

submitted-8/25/98--- This story comes to us from Chris Sweeting. Well this tale that I am about to put before your eyes just took place about 2 weeks ago. Myself and a bunch of the other guys all were at a party near our home town at this mansion. Well all my buddies were slammin except me of course and everyone was having a good time, D.J Magic Mendleke was even there spining out a few tunes. It all started when Lesko went inside to take his girlfriend to the washroom. Someone was in the bathroom but would not say anything when you knocked. The person was in there for like 10 minutes so Lesko and Tom start to pound on the door and yell whos shiting in the bathroom. Then like 5mins later this guy comes out with this big old cowboy hat on and syas that he was shiting. He starts to smart off and talk some trash like he's some hard ass. So Lesko says lets take it outside and the guy really doesn't say anything and justs walks out. Lesko goes after the piece of shit, but once he gets outside and starts yelling at this fucker the owner of the house and quite a few others grab him and hold him back. Then they all told him just to wait till the kegs are tapped and then we'll kick some ass. So he settles down. Then I try to act like a hard ass and get in this dudes face and start mouthing off, of course I can't back my talk up so I get the hell out there when I see I might just get my ass kicked. Well anyway later the kegs are finally tapped and this cowboy guy has called like 5 more of his scumbag buddies over to this party. So theres like 8 or nine of them. Well some guy starts getting in Deboers face and then everyone is screaming and yelling at each other. Then Dennis just blasts the cowboy and knocks him on his ass. Then most of my buddies start brawling. Holst is just betting the living shit out of one of them, he did take a bottle over the head but he was all right. Allen also in there kicking some major ass and so is Lesko.Allen happened to bust up his hand when he missed one of them and hit a tree stump but he's still tough and kept on beating these white trash fucks. You ask if I was kicking ass well I do like to open my trap, but I really don't like to get physical. These guys came up to me behind this car and started to push me. One of them bitch slapped me and gave me a bloody lip. Luckly my buddie Matt was around because he came over and started kicking there asses. I went and hid under my car after that so I really don't know what else took place. But one thing that I do know is that some day if I ever leave for the Marines I hope to be able to learn how to drink and kick some ass like my buddies.

submitted-3/9/98--This story comes to us from Jason Lesko. Early first semester this year a few of us took a trip up to UWSP to visit Holst. Well on that Saturday we got a early start and had been drinking brew and Southern Comfort all afternoon. Budzz had really been slammin down the Soko. we then decided to go out to the football field to play some frisbee. To get on the field we jumped a fence. Budzz had a few problems while jumping the fence, he fell and ripped a foot long section of his pants near his crotch. We all noticed the rip and decided that the pants must come off. so one by one we would run past the fat ass and rip his pants off piece by piece. So finally at the end he was standing in the middle of the campus in his whitey tighties(with a fresh shit stain). We then walked the kid around the campus so everyone could get a laugh. he even followed us into the school cafeteria and the entire place broke out in laughter. Later that day he kept on drinking and on his way to a party he recieved a $475 drinking ticket(his third in Wis>) because the kid couldn't take 2 steps without falling over. He then later in the night got a few of us into a brawl at a party because we had to stick up for the fat ass. Nice going Budzz.

submitted-1/25/98--This story would have never happened if it weren't for Matt Allens love to brawl. This past Thanksgiving weekend, 16 of us from Antioch decided to go to a Wadsworth party. Now these parties are usually kick ass. Thats why they're on the favorite drinking spots. This party was an exception. One rule they set was that we had to take our shoes off, so we all obliged except for Matt Allen. He absolutely refused. Now, some of the guys at this bash were cool and hooked us up with whiskey shots all night. To say the least, Matt had his share. He decided to go take a piss outside and marked his territory on a car. Three guys saw this and got pissed, but Matt didn't give a fuck. He brawled all three of them and was whooping some ass till someone gave him a steel toe to the head. This whole time some of Antioch guys watched without helping. And they can fuck off. But Werchek and Lesco were right in there kicking ass too. Next Dave came out, right away he got jumped by five. He did his best and kicked some ass, but there were too many. Again, some Antioch fucks ran. But us slammers didn't know this was all going on because we were inside getting shitty. Finally, we heard what was going on and decided we better get out of there before it was too late. On the way out, Holst decided to hit the biggest kid at the party. With six full strides, Holst elbowed this kid right in the head. This fucker didn't even flinched and starting laughing. Lesco, Johnson, and Stevens were right on Holst's side waiting to brawl. They weren't taking shit from anyone. Johnson got blindsided in the eye but didn't phase him. He took a couple of nice bricks and threw them threw the window of house. Holst got cracked in the jaw but also was fine. Matt ended up having a cracked tooth and a face a swollen mess. And Dave got three teeth knocked out and got twelve stitches in his head. The good thing is, Death Squad never backed down. Keep on brawling Sweets you pussy.

submitted-1/22/98-- This story comes compliments of Dave Laforge-- A few years back a few friends of ours that lived in Wisconsin, about 10miles to the north threw a party. A few of us went there together. We all got pretty trashed except for Jeff who was driving us home. Lesko past out on the kitchen floor and the Wolfman past out in the trees nearby. We decided to leave them there because Chris groh said that he'd give them a ride in the morning. So we left aroun 1am or so. Mike woke up a little after we left and couldn't find us. He didn't know that Lesko was still there because he was past out. He ended up taking a little walk to see if they were anywhere around the neighborhood. Mike ended up walking through swamps,fields,backyards, and everywhere else till he reached highway 50 about 5miles the wrong way in Wisconsin. He then took that in the wrong direction to another road called C. He had no idea where he was going. He tried to nap a few times along the way of his journey. he also tried to hitch hike but nobody would stop. He then took C till he reach a road called North Av. On the way he saw another drunk hitch hiking on the opposite side of the road. He then took North Av. all the way down to Lesko's house, where he had left his car. Once he reached his car the sun was up and it aws around 8 or 9am. The kid walked somewhere around 20-30 miles that night. What a night of slammin!!

submitted-12/21/97--This story comes compliments of SCOTT HOLST-One night after a mean night of drinking at a few parties and at a local bar called The Glass house me and my buddies headed back to the dorm.We were trashed and I mean trashed.Anyway on the way back to the dorm we for some reason decided to take a nap in the bushes at a ShopKo parking lot.My friend Black Tony was wearing his lucky Ceasar's Palace madellion on that night.We have no idea how long we slept there or why.But a few other buddies got worried and came out looking with flashlights.They went everywhere around campus looking and couldn't find us anywhere.Then on the way back they drove past ShopKo and saw something shining out of the bushes.They stopped and shined the flashlite into the bushes and found us all pastout.The lucky madellion saved us that night

submitted-12/17/97--This story comes to us from Black Tony--- This is a fairly new story. This weekend we hit the bar called Booties. We got wasted. We were buying shots left and right. The whole story is about DUI Dave, and Carlson. Dave left the bar, and woke up by the piers very early in the morning. Carlson left with a pitcher of brew, and woke up in a ditch sleeping next to a used rubber. The only woman he remembered from that night was a big black ghetto bitch. The two had to walk about six miles to get back to Leskos. They ended up getting home at 8:30 a.m.

submitted-12/02/97-- The next story come to us courtesy ofSweetPrick-----For this story, we have to go way back-back to the early days drinking. It all started at one of our old buddies house. It was one of the first times that we all drank together. One fella imparticular-Jason Lesko-had about 18 beers out of the beer bong that night and decided that he should slam some Smirnoff, after drinking about a third of the bottle, we had to take the bottle from him. He was annihilated. Our buddy Corey has a pool at his house and the drunk asses decided to have a belly flop contest off of the bannister next to the pool that was about 6 ft. high. Just about everyone sallied out except drunken Jay, he jumped off about 10 times completely spread eagle and hit the water pretty damn hard. Everybody else cringed at how that must have felt but it was hilarious. About an hour later, all the alcohol hit him pretty hard and he sat down-hunched over and sat there, swaying back and forth for about three hours straight, never saying a word or looking up. We all went to bed and in the morning we woke up to a banging noise. We looked outside and there was Lesko shaking and freezing yelling to let him in. Apparently, he woke up sometime in the middle of the night , couldn't get in the house, couldn't get into anyone's car and had to sleep in the gazebo outside with the dog's rug as a blanket. What a dumb ass- he shouldn't have passed out. Nice job Lesko.

submitted-11/19/97--The next story comes to us courtesy ofDisco Steve --------For this story we return back to the world famous RED OAKS CAMPGROUND ( which we are now banned for life from)Our first trip to RED OAKs was around two years ago on Memorial Day. We all popped our cherries on that weekend.We did some serious slammin and i mean serious.Each one of us brought up close to 3 cases a piece.During that weekend a campsite held a party took place known as the Miller Bash. We learned a new game that day we now always play-Beer Darts.We also met a crazy guy named Splat. They called him that because every time he finished off a bottle he bashed it against his truck.A brawl ended up breaking out, unfortunetly none of us took part in it.Holst,Carlson,Laforge,Budzz,and Lesko all ended up passing out at the campsite.They woke us by spraying brew in each of our faces, and covering Budzz in mustard.Carlson didn't get up and the cops showed up because of the brawl. They wondered if he was alright and some guy gave them a helping hand by kicking a full beer can at his head to show them taht he was in fact just fine.The Miller Bash guys got kicked out never to return to Red Oaks.Now we too are unable to return, but we'll live and we'll Keep on Slammin!!!!!

submitted-11/10/97--The next story comes courtesy ofWolfMan---- One night me, Matt, Dave, Lesko, and Holst went up to the town of West Bend, Wis. Holst knew some broad who lived there from his school. the drive took us 2hrs. and we were ready to show the CheeseFucks how to slam. So anyway later in the night we were all trashed and a few ladies wanted to strip. So we said what the hell go for it. Then some dumbass told Holst no. So they decided to go to the beach. Holst kicked his ass. Then this son of a bitch said he was calling up his boys. A little later 12 carloads of guys show up. Around 30 guys vs. 6 of us. These guys just wanted Holst to appologize. Holst stood his ground and said Hell No. They then pussied out and most of them left. There was 7 or 8 of them and 6 of us. Dave was hitting on some broad and one of the guys called him a dork. So Dave and Holst got in his face and started talking shit. The first word that Holst said the guy blasted him. This guy was huge(6ft6in 225pds), he knocked Holst right out of his sandals. The rest of us jumped in, it was an all out brawl. I was in my Bronco getting some snatch. The chick told me that a fight was taking place. So i jumped out and went to action kicking ass. we beat the living shit out of these guys. They would run to the forrest and we would pull them out and kick there ass again. The cops showed up and we got $150 disorderly conduct tickets. A few of us are still wanted in Wisconsin.