No Smokin'

On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the
dog.

Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day

On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push"
 
Sign outside a radiator repair shop: Best Place in town to take a leak

Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, 
you've come to the right place.

Scientist"s Door: Gone Fission

Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff

Podiatrist's Window: Time wounds all heels

Butcher's window; Let me meat your needs

Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition

Sign on Fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive"

Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet-miss a car
payment


Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.

Hotel: "Help!" We need inn-experienced people

Butcher's Window: Pleased to meat you

Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?

Sign in an office: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just
left.

Veterinarians Waiting Room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Music Teacher's Door: "Out Chopin"

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your
bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

Beauty Shop: Dye now!

Garbage Truck: We've got what it takes to take what you've got

Computer STore: "Out for a quick byte"

Restaurant Window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get
fed up.

Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat
any place they want.

Music Library: Bach in a minuet