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Scribble and Scrawl 2

'The Millionlands'

A post apocalyptic story of a fractured world and one mans connection to its past.

"Moving . . .always moving through the tall greenly. . . tall reeds. .shelter from danger and for it. The group is large now. Bigger than I can remember . . . the luck of the hedsa. Rhythmic rush and swoosh of the greenly reeds is hypnotic. All breathe in unison, so as to provide space for the listeners. . . Garan an elder listener reels and twitches 'hold instuctions' for the group . . .his small jerky movements freezes the group, as the listeners hold the silence.

Garan holds silent and motionless as his ears strain to catch the slightest sound . . . not belonging to the place.

Peering through the greenly, Garan sees the stiff shape of an Usrr. Garan recoils hissing, he is visibly shaken. This one is dead, has been dead for awhile. As Garan and I, Thinly take another look through the greenly reeds, I snap a small shoot from a reed . .to poke the Usrr and make sure this is not a trap. No living Ussa that has seen a live Usrr.

There is great anxiety and movement within the group now. . as muted calls come for a hedsa. This strange ritual, decides the destiny of our clan, the Ussa, as it has for generations. Garan hisses a long shhhhhhh . . . and calls "hedsa". The Ussa all fall into circular position, and wait for Garan to go to the center of the circle and remove the disc from the small black box.

Garan carries the box to the center of the group, as quiet shhh. . .shhhing rises from the half crouched, fidgeting members jockeying for position to view the "hedsa". Garan opens the box and removes the polished disc . . . turning it over and over in his hands. He suddenly flips it into the air. . .a hum grows from the Ussa as they crane their necks to watch the disc rise to the peak of its flight and then fall to the cleared area where the greenly reeds have been pulled up and the ground stamped flat. As the disc hits the ground, Garan pitches forward, dropping on all fours, his face inches from the disc. He stares at it for a moment . . .a long moment. . and suddenly springs to his feet, pointing in a distant direction. This is the new destination for the Ussa to head. Garan scoops up the disc . . .muttering. . and returns it to the box after wiping its smooth surfaces. The clan heads off hurriedly in the new direction.

Garan pushes past me with a grunt . . .he did not like the fact that I saw his fear at finding the dead Usrr. He turns and with a whisper hiss. . tells me "Thinly . . .you will be the backer!" I stop as the others move past and around me. .and wait to take my place at the very back of the clan. This is the worst and most dangerous place to be . . . many backers have been lost . . silently to the greenly reed. Garan has held the power of elder listener for many , many "hedsa" calls, and is beginning to see that some of the clan 'look' with more anxiety in the directions he calls.

He knows that someday his call will be challenged, and his time will end as the elder listener. My seeing his fear. . .reminded him of this . . . providing me with my new position. We are nearing the end land of greenly now. The world is covered with these puzzle patches of land, too many to count or imagine. We will soon cross the water strips that separate the green. Most in the clan hate these times the most . . . the brightness of the light of these in-between spaces makes them all the more anxious and vulnerable. . .the dimness of the dense, towering greenly reeds. . . filters the light to a safe and comfortable dim shadowland. I love these spaces the most though . . . it is finally a time when dimness and the constant pressing of the reeds. . . is gone. It is also the only time to try and catch my favorite food . . .finly.

At the edge of the greenly reed . . .some of us go close to the water. I am looking deep in the depth of it for a finly. . . a soft mottled water thing that is easy to catch. . . but hard to see.

They lie on the bottom. . with all their eyes looking up, for food or danger, I guess. They have as many eyes, as I have fingers to catch them . . .but today the water is too murky to see any close to the land.

What a strange world. . .on land only greenly reed. . in water only finly. . . everything is either this or that. . . Ussa . . . .Usrr, . . .greenly. . .finly, cool light openness . . . or warm close darkness.

Then I See It!!! . . . one moves. . just a little, but enough to change the shadow on the water bottom. I jab my hands at it, and squeeze its' fat sides together. I jerk it out of the water . . .and roll it tightly, in the bottom fold of my cover.

Some of the other Ussa see my prize. .and move closer to the water edge, to try and catch one also. But most are content to chew the greenly reed. . until it is nothing but coarse, tasteless strands.

I can't wait till we settle and I can eat my prize. I will share with Olon and her child. . .but not with Garan. Even if he demands it.

It is getting too dim . . to cross the water strip now. The clan will be setting up soon.

We move back from the edge of the end land. . .to the fullness of the greenly reed. Many begin to fold the reed . . . in alternating patterns, to form the bedding , which we use.

I go over to Olon. . and show her the fat finly in my cover. She quick jerk looks around. Suddenly she moves away to retrieve Oon, her child, from the bed area of another.

I am really put off. This is quite a prize. . fat and all . . only 2 or 3 other Ussa even were able to grab finlys. Most were much smaller!!

As I turn to make my bedding. . . I see why Olon. . looked away with a jerk.

There stood Garan. Having heard of the finly prize. . . I'm sure he felt I would part . . .with his rightful share.

"Who brought you to this prize . . Thinly " he hissed and glared.

"Were'nt there others. . .at the same time. . Garan," I ask

"Who brought them there also!!!. . .Garan was spitting at the impudence of my reply.

"The Disc". . I said... there was an uneasy silence among the clan. Garan . . narrows his stare . .and says . . . " . . .WHO holds the disc . . . Thinly?"

I pause as the others are watch intently . . .

" . . .not I" . .I say.

Garan snatches the finly and rips it into. He casts the smaller tail piece at me. . .it hits and falls at my feet.

I start to bend and see Olon looking. . .knowing my defeat. I push my way to the back of the clan . .as the lesser Ussa. .pick the small tail piece. . apart.

At the back of the clan. . .I settle in, and begin to pull reeds over myself.
I just want to disappear.
I dont want the others to see my shame and anger.
Nervously I grab a clump of greenly reed and begin to chew it . . .the taste makes me sick and I spit it out, making me angrier.
I hate Garan.
I hate myself, for letting him bully me with his authority.
I pull more reeds down over me. I want to block out this world. The look on Olon's face keeps coming back to me.
And I get angrier with myself.
Garan WILL be challenged. . .
WHY didn't I just say no to him???
I could have pushed the old man down. . .and called for a new Hedsa. . Is that how Garan started??? . . .

How can I face Olon . . .again?

I am hungry. . but can't eat. I hate the taste of the reed, but appreciate the comfort of pulling it over me to hide my shame.
Everything . . .this or that.
My prize. .my loss. . .my joy. . .my despair. . .my hope. . and the look in Olon's eyes.

. . .I Hate Garan. . .

. . .In the distance . . .I hear the listeners ssshhhhhing. . .

and from time to time catch the hiss of Garan arranging the clan for the night.
We will not cross the water strips again, for awhile. . .surely Garan will call a Hedsa in the morning, and call a direction away from the endland.

The deep quiet sets in.
In my mind I can see the Usrr . . .So different. .the face . . so harsh in it's features. I wanted to touch the dead Usrr. . Garan says to touch one is sure death. .and to do so would bring death and destruction to the clan. . the Usrr carry nothing but death with them. We have lost many backers to the reed . . .only to find bones . . in later crossings.
I think they follow us feeding on our weakness.

I wonder how the Usrr died . . ? Did it die . . or was it killed . . and if killed. . .by what?
The Ussa only kill Finly's, for food.. the reed cant be killed. . .if we clear an area, more comes back as soon as we leave. It is the green forever erasure. . .

. . .But, how did the Usrr die?

I wanted to touch it , but Garan's fear made me all the more frightened.
But it was dead. . strangely peaceful, for such a horrible thing.
I close my eyes . . . and see the gray streaked and stretched skin of the Usrr's face.

I also see Garan's squinty face. . . and the disappointment in Olon's eyes. This bothers me as I try to sleep.

Just asleep . . .and a warm hand shakes my arm, causing me to sit up straight, though not awake.
"It's me" whispers Olon. I look at her , and see Oon sitting off to her side.
I can't say a word , and look away.
"It's alright Thinly. . .Garan takes from everyone." she says.
"But not forever", I say.
"I didn't get a good look at your prize. . .but the others say it was really something. I'm sorry . . but Oon sometimes just wanders away. . it really scares me...

"I just wanted to share the Finly with you and Oon." I tell her.
It was a prize. . .the biggest ever. . .
Olon looks at me . . and says. . ."Don't wory . . .Garan is old. . he nearly choked, shoving it down his throat".
. . . " the others SAW you begin to challenge Garan . . .some had hope.

I still cant look at her. . ." Hope of what", I say. "I can point in directions. . .I can flip a disc. . .does it really tell us anything. .really?

"I am Tired". . .I say.
"May we stay" asks Olon .. .half looking at me.
I am taken aback. . .I thought for sure that I would never see. . .talk or share anything with Olon again!
"Of Course" . . .I tell her. . .

Together we bend the reed to make mats for ourselves and Oon.

We finish our mat and pull ourselves together with Oon between us. Olon quickly falls asleep, I lay there with the soft rush sound of the wind in the reed above me. I stare up through the opening at the top of the reed, into the small patches of black night. Small bright white dots of light. . .stars peek and blink through the shifting of the reed. The opening changes shape as wind blows its way across the canopy of reed.

Oon is next to sleep. . .a small fragile child. Oon has never uttered a word. She makes small airy sounds with her breathing. Garan says Oon was scared to silence because she saw the Usrr. This happened when we had just lost a backer to the reed. Garan blames Oon and said that only luck and the hand of the Great One prevented all of the clan from falling to the Usrr. He claims Oon's silence placed the clan in peril. . and the backer was snatched as Oon watched in silence.

I never believed it though . . .the backer that was lost was Oon's father . . . .how could she stay silent . . . seeing her own father taken by the Usrr? Garan had chosen him to be the backer. . . .This was after Olon had refused his advances and gifts of food.

Garan had always looked at Olon with a hungry look.

I fall in and out of sleep. . waking to look across at Olon. .and then falling back asleep. . not believing she is really there.

I wake. . . hearing a crunch sound in the reed ahead.
I see Olon and Oon already awake. . . I pull them so close to me that there is no space between any of us . . .

Ahead there are three dark stocky figures. . .ink black shapes against the lighter reed.

They have an Ussa . . . shaking it as though it were nothing. They are ripping the arms off of the Ussa . . .it's only sound is gasping and choking, as one of the figures has a heavy arm locked around the neck, twisting , jerking and popping all the bones of the Ussa's neck. No one else makes a sound . . . and none but me watch this macabre dance of death. All the Ussa believe that hiding and not looking at what is happening, is their only defense and chance to survive. So they all keep silent as death. . .pressing their faces, with eyes closed into the ground. . .hoping the horror will pass over them. Olon and Oon both have their faces buried in the dirt, scarcely breathing . . .when I turn back to look again at the Usrr. . .a reed snaps.

The popping and crunching noises from the Usrr suddenly stop. The nearest one spins around . . . yellow wide set eyes peering in our direction.

It seems like a forever passed as I held my breath, while the Usrr's yellow eyes searched for the cause of the sound. Just as it started to move towards us, one of the other figures grunted a deep raspy sound, and the Ussr looking straight to us, jerked around to rejoin the other two.
It looked as though they had dismantled their victim enough to enable them to carry the pieces away through the reed. They part the reed with a thick arm and push through it. . .and are gone.

I wonder who had been taken . . .as I started to breathe again, maybe it was Garan. . .but probably not, Garan always positioned the clan when we settled. . .Now I know why he sets a few far from the main group. . . and surrounds himself with so many. Suddenly I remember Olon and Oon, I whisper to them . . "they have left . . . it's safe to look up now." . . .are you alright?" Olon and Oon lookup. Oon is as white as star light, and is still shaking with fear. "We are alright . . . says Olon". Her voice betrays her. As Olon moves towards me. . .I catch a glint of light off something in the ground where she had buried her face. I take my hand and brush more of the dirt away. . .IT SHINES . . .it has an irregular shape with many sides and is flat. I dig around it and pull it out of the ground. I take and wipe the shiny side against my cover, and pull the strange object to my face, to get better look at it. . .and let it fall to the ground. In it there was another.

Olon bends to pick it up, as Oon makes airy noises as a fearful warning. . .from where I sit . . I see two Olons. . .the one I know. . and the one in the shiny object.
This thing must be very magical. . it did not come from our world . . .is it from the Usrr? For some reason my mind will not believe that something like this could come from the murderous things I had just witnessed . . .but where did it come from?

I take the object from Olon's hands . . .and tell her . . ."this is a very precious thing, Garan must never know about it. How does the object take the Olon's face? Garan must never know . . Olon . . do you hear! . . .
I peer into the object as Olon says "Thinly. . .it is you . . .you are in the object" Olon says. I close my hands tightly over the object, and turn to Olon . . ."remember . . no one, tell no one." Until I find what this thing is. . and where it came from. As I uncurl my fingers from around the shiny side, that is facing upwards towards the top of the reed, I see the patches of deep black of the night, with bright white flickers of the star lights . . .appear and disappear as the reed moves back and forth. Again I turn to Olon , she is comforting Oon,"remember . . . tell no one" I say, as I put the object into my cover. It will be light soon enough, and we will know who was taken. "Try to sleep alittle" I tell Olon . . ."it will be light soon, and I'm sure we will move." Olon pulls Oon down to her and both pull the reed over them. . .I feel the shape of the object under my cover as I watch them nervously fall asleep.

Quite awhile passes before I fall back asleep . . . I look over to Olon and Oon, both fidget and stir repeatedly. . . As I watch , I still wonder where the object came from, how does it work? It must be something special, it must mean something. I close my eyes many times, remembering the Usrr. .the object. . .and Olon being here with me.

I wake, the dim filtered light through the reed, combines with the muted whispers and wails of the other Ussa, rouse me. The clan is in a frenzy.

Olon and Oon must have awakened earlier, they are nowhere close by. I stretch and shake off the reed and the bad nights' sleep.

As I walk to where group of Ussa are gathered, I see the lesser members of the clan, pulling and chewing reeds. Everyone moves jerkily. It's always like this when one has been taken.

I push through many of the Ussa, who have formed a circle around the spot where the Usrr were last night. Garan. . .is of course in the middle. I push forward , recognize Zold , an elder listener, and lean over to him to ask who was taken. (Zold, an elder listener, has no teeth and many horrible sores on his arms and neck). "Zold. . . who was taken?. . .I ask.
He spins round to confirm who he thinks I am. . .he peers at me for a long moment. . .
(I haven't seen him for awhile, . . .one of his eyes is milky white. . dead looking with blindness.

After recognizing me, he coughs deep and places one of his hands on my arm. I start to shrink back, but realize this would offend him and probably ensure he would not tell me anything.

" It was Ulander". . . he croaks and coughs again.
"Snatched right away. . his daughter was covered with his blood. . . she didn't move a bit, as the Usrr tore him apart . . . she wails now. .and tears at her arms with reeds to scrape away his blood.

Zold gasps in air. . and looks at me through that cloudy dead eye. . .shrugs and moves away towards a group of older Ussa.

Ulander was nearly my age . . .the Usrr never seem to take the old ones. . . was this just a coincidence, or was it a mix of Garans deceit and the taste of the Usrr. Garan always gathers the elder listeners first around him as we settle. Then the younger females. .then older females without mates, then the families with children.
Then he always leaves a space. . . then he places the younger males and the sickly. Finally, furthest out, Garan sets out the outcasts and backers. These are usually ones who have spurned his advances or denied him food from prize gatherings.

I look up and over at the group of Ussa standing with Garan . . and see Olon.
I make my way over to her. . "hello" I say.
"Thinly". . it was Ulander who was taken! Olon says, as she lowers her eyes ,red with tears.

"I know . . .Zold told me" I reply then ask. . .What has Garan said?
Olon tells me that he is waiting to call a 'hedsa'. . .he also has said that someone within the group is calling to the Usrr, and is asking if any of the elder listeners have heard strange words or sounds amongst the group.
I lean close to Olon's ear . . .and ask. . " have you told anyone . .of the object?"
Olon stiffens quickly. . .looks up nervously and replies. . " no . . .no one!"I have only talked to Ulander's daughter and tried to comfort her.
"Where is Oon?" . . I ask.
"She is back in the reed, sitting with the other children, Shren is with them". . Olon says.
"USSA!!!!!" Garan's raspy voice shouts. . ."silence the talking. . . quiet amongst the clan . . .we have grave things to discuss."
"WE can go there . . here. . .anywhere" . . spits Garan.
" The 'hedsa' . .will lead us". . .BUT there is one who deceives us. . .Garan pauses. . moves forward and shoves one of the lesser Ussa out of his way.

"There is one . . .with the Usrr. . .one one leads them to us. . .no matter the 'hedsa'. . .THIS ONE IS AMONG US!". . .Garan reels back and casts a long look about the clan.

The clan steps back. .and croutches lower. . .looking about in distrust to one another.

"I know . .who gives us to them!". . . spits Garan
"We must cast this deceiver out!". . . let the Usrr reclaim their spy. . and do what they will with them.
Garan inhales slowly, with a gasping sound, as he stares down the group.

Slowly , and in a hiss whisper, Garan says. . ." This one. . . the one who gives us away. . .is a child!"
This one is. . . .Oon!!!Garan says as he points toward Oon , who playing with a reed doll close to where the children are gathered.

NO!!. . .shreiks Olon. . ."IT IS A LIE!!!"
A lie hisses Garan . . "Let us see!"

The clan in it's anxiety , begins to gather closely around Garan. . .as he begins to pull the ropes of his trap.
"Who does not speak!!!. . .EVEN a single word. . to her people. . EVEN to her own mother?" . . .Garan hisses.

"What sounds were heard last night as Ulander was taken?" Garan asked.

Gasps . . WE heard them. . .the air sounds of this child . .calling . . telling the Usrr who to take. "These Gasp sounds . . are they words of an Ussa?. . . These are th sounds heard . . everytime the Usrr come. . . heard all the time . .from this child . .Oon!

"Zold. . tell the clan what you heard last night". . .Garan stretched out his finger accusingly to the old man Zold.
"I . . heard the gasps . . and sounds . .like the child makes. . ."said Zold with his eyes cast down , toward the ground.

In that instant . . .I knew that what Zold had heard. .was Oon's fear at seeing the shining object. . .

NO!!! yelled Olon, her face all screwed up in hatred towards Garan.. . "It was not That!!!. .

Garan reels around to stare down Olon. . .
"What then, Olon?. . ." Garan hissed.

I grab Olon's arm tightly. . .and yell. . "It was not that Garan. . I was there!!!"

"Yes . .I know you were there Thinly. . .Yes . .you were there . .far out on the edge of the clan. . usually a place of great danger. . .but . .safe . . .untouched. . like the child. . .WHILE. . Ulander, much closer was ripped to bits and taken!
Garan's eyes narrow as he stares through the frightened and confused members of the clan. " And yet. . .many heard the sounds . . .of the child! Who was the child talking to? not another Ussa . . .these were not words of an Ussa. . they were sounds of the Usrr!

"I have nothing to gain from this". . .Garan says slyly. ,br.,p. I look over to Olon . .her body is trembling, her eyes filled with tears. . .I know she is on the verge of revealing the object to Garan. . . I grab her hand and look into her eyes. . .and whisper. . "Garan will not spare Oon for the object, . . .he will take and destroy both!

I spin around and yell to Garan. ."YOU ARE WHO THE USRR FOLLOW!!!! GARAN!. . ."You set their dinner table by arranging the clan!". . .

Garan shreiks and wheels around at me, striking me squarely in the temple. . .I stagger backwards and collapse in a heap, everything fades to black

I wake. . .Olon is cradling my head. The movement of the reed above me makes me nauseous, I close my eyes again.

I look up into Olon's red, swollen eyes.

"I did not tell. . .I did not tel. . " Olon sobbing . . repeats again and again.
My head is still throbbing. . and there is a warm sticky ooze, trickling from my ear.. . "Tell what? I ask. " The Object. . .I did not tell. . .Olon says as she buries her face into my neck.

After a while. . I push her head up and wipe her face with my hands. . .
"Where is Oon?. . I ask.
"Taken". . Olon utters as she collapses against me. "Garan and the others. . took Oon and sent her away!. . .

Olon is sobbing deeply. . " I don't know if they killed or what. . .I just don't know". . .

"Where are the others?". . .I ask.
"We have been set out". . . Olon says as she looks long and deep into my eyes . .searching with hope for some comfort and assurance.
The look in my eyes fills her face with complete despair and saddness.
I pull her close as my head pounds with anger and contempt for Garan. . .

"Olon. .we will find Oon. . .and to you I swear. . .

"Garan will die for this!"

. . .

I hold onto Olom for a long time . . . and realize . . .

we are alone . . .

I have never been alone before.
I have FELT alone at times within the clan . . . but I always knew . . .
if I were to be taken. . .or died of an illness. . . I would be among many who would suffer my loss and be mournful of my leaving . . .
Even though FEW celebrated my being around . . .while I was around. . .
Olon is sobbing. . .I know her heart is nearly dead because of Oon, and neither of us has the courage to face it.
This maze of neverending confusion and secrecy will probably ensure that we never find Oon . . .alive.
I rub Olon's neck and finally say to her. . ." how long was I out, after Garan hit me?"
"Quite awhile. . I thought he had killed you" . . ."you didn't move at all"
"Garan pulled and brought the clan about him and called for a hedsa" . . .
BIG tears fall and hit the ground as she sags into a heap in front of me . . .

I pull her face up . . .to look at me. . .
"Do we have much of the day left?" . . I ask.
"Some. . ." she replies.
"They took Oon away. . . . with them?" . . .I ask.
"Yes . .Garan was beating her. . .and binding her with strips of reed. . . she bit him hard. . he shreiked and beat her all the more". .Olon's teeth clenched tight in her mouth as she told me this.
" . . . then Garan had her ankles bound with long strips of reed . . .and had several of the clan drag her along, as they set off.
"Over there. . .that is where they took my child . . ." the words dropped out of Olon's mouth as she pointed towards the break in the reed. . .

" Well . . . we should at least move from here before the light is gone. . .
this place. . .and all that has happened. . .may signal the Usrr" . . I tell Olon.

"Let's go through the break in the reed. . . and see if there are any signs to point to the clan and where Oon may have been set out" . . .I say.

Olon looks up barely as I tell her this.
She moves off and ahead of me . . . as she does. . . I see the bruises and welps,
where Garan and his kind had beaten her. . .
I move up close to her and softly put my hand around the upper part of her arm. . and pull her to a stop. . .

As I pull her around to me, I look into the swollen eyes of her face, for a long moment and ask . . ." did Garan . . .or the others. . . force you. . ?
Olon pushes her hand against my mouth. . to keep me from asking the rest. . .
" I will get over that . . Thinly. . . I will never get over them taking . .and hurting. .Oon
for that . . I will never know happiness . . again. .

Olon looks straight through me as she says in a desparate voice. . "YOU decide. . .
Thinly. . . .Garan did not have me . . . he took something. . . GARAN always TAKES. . .
What he did to me . . .doesnt mean anything. . . but what he TOOK . . . means everything
HE TOOK MY CHILD. .

" Thinly . . .help me find my child. . .
help me find Oon.. . . Olon is sobbing as she says this. .. and falls in a heap .

I am feeling guilty for causing Olon to relive the humiliation of Garan, and feel ashamed for not being more concerned for Oon and her safety.
"Olon. . .what matters . . .is that we find Oon. . get her back. . .and keep her safe.
Garan will pay for that !!!. . . if nothing else . . Garan will PAY for stealing Oon. . . with his life. .
As I look into the maze of reed ahead. . I feel helpless and mad about the promises I have just made to Olon.

"We need to go. .NOW Olon . . . we need to try and find where the clan has gone. . before the reed hides all of their way". . .I tell her.
So together. . .we go through the reed, trying to beat light . . .and the coming of night.

We have travelled for awhile. . .looking intently at the reed for breaks and bends, that would indicate that the clan had moved through.
Olon holds up and lets me move in front of her. . . she still has red trickles running from a wound on her knee running down to her ankle. . I hear a sound . . .then freeze. . . .

Back to the beginning . . .again

The Imaginary Number Homepage
'The Millionlands Continues'

Email: rmccracken@gulftel.com