By My Side
Paige ran into the house crying, trying to enter unheard. She didn’t want him to see her crying. He knew her to well and she wouldn’t be able to hide it from him. But he heard her and came running to the door. AJ,
Her best friend of the past few years wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to him. “Baby, what’s wrong?” She shook her head as if to say nothing as she pulled herself from his arms. “You cannot tell me nothing. You know you can talk to me!” She looked into his eyes. “I am sorry. I am just over reacting to something is all. You know how I do that sometimes. I’m fine. Really!” He looked at her with a skeptical look on his face, but let it go. “OK, as long as everything is okay with you. You know I care about you!” She smiled up at him before turning away to go to her room. At her door, she turned to face him, “I know you do!” With that, she turned into her room.
AJ watched her close the door behind her. “Something is not right with her. I just wish she would talk to me! I care about her. More than she knows!” He went to sit on the couch and get back to his movie. But as he sat, his thoughts kept drifting back to her sitting in her room. Finally unable to sit there any longer, he walked over and knocked on the door. He knocked a few times getting no answer. He was going to just leave her be, and walk away. But something in his heart told him to open the door and go to her.
He opened the door hesitantly. “Paige? Can I come in?” he called to her. Getting no answer, he opened the door to see that she had fallen asleep on her bed. He walked over to cover her with a blanket. He was about to lie the blanket over her, when he seen it. Her shirt had fallen off one shoulder revealing a large bruise on her upper shoulder near her neck. “Is this why she pulled away from me so quickly? I was probably hurting her! How did this happen? Is this what she was ‘over-reacting’ about?” he asked himself. He threw the blanket over her, kissed her lightly on the cheek, and then left her to sleep.
Paige, who was awake, heard him shut the door as he left. She then sat up and pulled her shirt up over her hurt arm. “AJ, I wish I could talk to you. I really do. But I am afraid of what you will do if you knew the truth!” she whispered before lying back down. She lay there for hours, unable to sleep. She kept thinking of how she knew she was hurting AJ. But she was doing it to protect him. She knew she could never tell him. Not as long as she could hide from it, and hide it from him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 2 Weeks Later *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Paige was hurting inside knowing the pain she was causing her best friend. She had been a best friend with AJ for a little over four years now. And she had never lied to him before. But that seemed to be all she could do now. She had to. She had to hide it. If he knew the truth, he would freak out. And she wanted to save him from that. She sat waiting for her boyfriend of two months to show up at the diner for their date. She was over twenty minutes early, knowing what would happen if she had gotten there later than him.
She was drinking a hot cup of coffee when she seen him coming towards her. He sat opposite her at the table and stared at her. “Did I say you could start with out me?” he said angrily towards her. “No. I’m sorry. I was just sitting here for a while and thought I better order something is all. I am sorry. I won’t do it again!” she whispered back at him. He reached across the table grabbing her wrist in a painful grasp; “You’re damn straight it will never happen again. Or else!” he sneered. She quickly went to pull her hand back from his tight grip, but he only held her tighter.
Finally he let her hand free. She pulled it to her chest rubbing it softly. Already she could feel a bruise forming. She stared at him with pure hatred now. She had finally had enough. Reaching behind her to grab her purse, she gathered all the courage she could. “You know what? This is over. I am walking away from you and this. I don’t need it anymore!” she said to him with a venomous voice as she stood to walk away.
Eric, Paige’s now ex-boyfriend watched her walk away as he sat there dumbfounded and speechless towards her actions. Suddenly unable to control his anger, he was off after her, reaching her as she neared her car. Just as she was setting to climb inside, he shoved her, to get her attention, causing her to hit her head. Dazed, she turned to look her attacker in the eye. Seeing whom it was she was about to scream.
But before she could get a sound out, he had his hand around her throat in a tightening grip. “You will never be rid of me! I am all that you know!” he spit in her face. With those words, he started his usual routine with her, except was rougher this time.
It started with the blows to the stomach and chest until she doubled over in pain. He then continued to hit her in the back as she sank lower to the ground. For a final touch, he kicked her a few times in the mid-section as she sat hunched over. One time, he hit her square in the face. He suddenly realized the mistake.
He had never hit her someplace visible before. Now she would have trouble hiding it. With one final blow, he took off leaving her curled, sobbing, and in pain, near her car. She must have lain there close to thirty minutes before she heard people approaching. Not wanting anyone to see her in this state, she as best as she could, got herself off of the ground and into her car.
It took the last bit of strength in her to get herself home and in her house. As she sat on her bed, she began crying softly again. “How did I let it go this far?” she asked herself. After she had herself calmed down a bit, Paige glanced over at the clock and seen it was now nearing 11pm. “Good! At least I won’t have to deal with AJ tonight. He has enough to worry about. I don’t need him worrying about me too!” She started getting herself ready for bed, not knowing just how wrong she was.
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AJ sat nursing a third drink, as he watched a beautiful woman sitting across the bar. He had had his eye on her for close to fifteen minutes. Just as he was ready to approach her, it happened. She walked right into the arms of another man. Annoyed with himself, he gave the woman one last look before deciding to just get drunk at home. He drove home hoping that Paige was either not home, or asleep by now. He didn’t want her to see him drinking himself to a stupor.
“Her car is here. She must be home,” he thought to himself as he pulled into the driveway. He searched the downstairs not finding her. “She must be in her room already! Let me just go say good night so she knows I am home!” he said before going up towards her room. He listened outside the door to try and determine of she were still awake. Hearing nothing, he turned to walk away. As he was at the top of the stairs, he heard a small whimper. Thinking he was hearing things, he stopped to listen. Hearing it again, he turned back towards her room. Unable to stop himself, AJ walked into her room without so much as a knock.
Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. He walked across the room hoping the dark lighting was causing his eyes to play tricks on him. Paige had been so out of energy, she had only gotten her shirt off before falling asleep. Now she lay across the bed with each of the cuts, scrapes and bruises, from the night’s events visible. Looking down at her, he felt his heart break.
She felt his presence, since she was sleeping lightly, and turned to face him. “Who the hell?” was all he could say to her. He sat down and attempted to pull her into his arms. Without thinking, she shied away from his touch. He looked at her and she saw the hurt in his eyes. “AJ, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” was all she said over and over. He again tried to pull her into his arms, this time getting them around her. He tried pulling her closer before she let out a small cry. It was then that he realized that holding her was hurting her.
“Baby, what the fuck happened to you? Who did this to you?” he began shooting all the questions at her in one shot. She looked at him apologizing again. “Stop apologizing. I am more than sure you never asked for this. Now tell me who is responsible for it!” She began to cry softly. “I lied to you. I tried to hide it for so long. I should have never let it go this far. I am so stupid!” was all he could hear her saying now. “What do you mean, you lied to me? What the hell is going on here?” he asked again. She looked him deep in the eyes, and decided to finally let him know the truth.
“AJ, I left Eric tonight.” AJ looked at her surprised. “You what?” he asked. “I left him. I finally did it.” “What do you mean you finally did it? I thought you loved him?” AJ asked her. “You want to know what happened to me? You ask who did this. Well now I will tell you. Eric. Eric happened to me. Eric did this to me. This is why I left him. I couldn’t take it anymore. And now I am scared!” With the words she broke out crying again. AJ sat digesting her words carefully. Then it sank in what she was saying.
“Are you saying that he did this to you? He hurt you this way? He is responsible for this?” he asked her loudly, as he felt his anger rising. She shook her head yes, then added. “This time it was worse than any other time though.” “You mean this has happened before?” he screamed at her now. Again she shook her head in agreement.
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AJ sat quietly listening to her, as he felt his hatred for the man growing immensely. At first it was hard for him to comprehend why Paige had kept this from him. But as he became angrier, he began to understand her reasons. Since the day he had met Eric, he had had a great dislike towards the man. But he also had never had any reason for the dislike. Paige didn’t want to be the one to give him the reason.
After explaining everything to him, her reasons for not telling him, her reasons for never leaving him, everything, she put her face in her hands and began to cry again. AJ, who had walked across the room as he listened to her, now crossed back over the space between them to be close to her. She lifted her face to look into his. “I am so sorry AJ. Just so sorry!” she choked out between sobs. Instinctively he pulled her into his arms, but was careful as to not hurt her aching body.
“Baby girl, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he whispered into her ear. She began shaking her head in disagreement. “I should have never let this happen to you!” She looked at him puzzled. “I should have not let him do this to you. I should have protected you better!” he said to her. “There was nothing you could do. You didn’t know!” she told him. “I thought. I seen signs. I suspected. But you never said anything, so I told myself I was seeing things. Making it up because I was looking for a reason to hate the man.”
“Why would you do something like that?” she asked him. “I am not sure. I just knew that it what I thought I was doing at the time,” was the reply that met her. “I wish you would have trusted your instincts. And me, I should have trusted in you. I am so sorry I didn’t come to you for help. If I had, it would never have gone this far!” She laid her head on his shoulder and remained quiet.
“You are not the one who will be sorry!” he finally hissed. With that, he sat her gently beside him, as he stood up. Paige grabbed at him as he went to walk away. “AJ no. Leave it be. Don’t go after him. It is over!” He turned around and got down to her level, kneeling on the floor. “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will treat the woman I love this way and get away with it!” She stared at him intently. As he realized what he had just said to her. “What did you just say?” she asked him quietly.
AJ laid his head in her lap, and kissed the palm of one of her hands softly, as he remained silent. He wasn’t sure what to say now. “AJ..” she started. He looked up at her, placing his fingers over her lips to silence her. “Don’t say anything!” he whispered. She tried again, “But AJ..” He pulled her close shushing her. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she finally whispered so softly she barely heard it herself, “But I love you too!”
Paige wasn’t sure she meant for him to hear it. She wasn’t sure she was even willing to completely admit it either. Yet after hearing him say it, she knew her heart belonged to him. She realized this is why it never worked out with her and Eric. She was waiting to be with AJ. Suddenly he pulled away from her. “I am sorry. I need to go. To get out of here. Away from this!” he said as he walked his way out of her room. Once on the other side of the door, he added silently, “Away from you!”
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She watched him walk out the door. “I know he won’t let this go. I could have been beaten to my death tonight, and I am asking him to not worry about me? He won’t leave it be. I need to take care of this myself.” She sat thinking for a few minutes, as a realization hit her. “Oh my god! Could Eric see how I feel about AJ? Is this the whole reason he hated him so much? And the reason why he beat me? He thought he would have to scare me into staying with him. That way he knew I never went to AJ!” She then decided there was only one thing she could do to make sure this was over. She scooted over on her bed and lifted the phone from the table.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 20 Minutes Later *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As he lay on the bed, AJ heard the faint knocking on his bedroom door. Knowing it could only be Paige at this hour, he continued lying on the bed and just shouted for her to come in. Paige walked in and stood there shyly. “AJ?” she called into the darkness of the room. He sat up and looked at her. “What’s wrong?” he asked her. Knowing from her silence and her voice when she called to him, that something was wrong. He got up and walked towards her. “Paige, sweetie, what is it?” She felt the warm tears sliding down her cheeks. “I need you AJ. I need you so much!” she cried as she went into his waiting arms.
He was careful knowing her body must still be in pain. “I am always here for you. No matter. Always,” he told her. After he held her for a few minutes, she looked up to meet his eyes. “I need you to take me to the police station. I have something that I need to take care of.” He stood looking down at her unsure as to what she meant. Sensing his question, she said, “I need to end this. Finally end it!”
He still looked a little confused. “Please AJ…” she started to beg. He laid his hand over her mouth to silence her, then kissed her on the nose. “I said anything! Let me get my keys.” As AJ went to pull away from her, she wrapped her arms around him tightly. “Hey! You okay?” he asked. She held on for a minute before letting go and kissing his cheek. “Thank you!” she whispered. AJ told her anytime as the two left the room.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 2 Hours Later *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AJ watched Paige walking towards the car and got out to open her door for her. “You okay?” he asked as soon as she was close enough to hear him. He never went inside. She asked him to please wait out here for her. She needed to do this alone. He still wasn’t sure as to what she was going to do. Paige went to him as he pulled her close. “It’s over!” she whispered. “What? What’s over?” he asked her worried. “I pressed charges for tonight. And I also got a permanent restraining order. I don’t have to be afraid anymore!” she explained.
He squeezed her as he thought of all she had been through. “This never would have happened if I would only tell her I love her. I love her more than life itself. In time she will know. She needs to know!” He helped her into the car. The drove home was a silent one. AJ sat wondering how would be the perfect way to finally tell her he loved her. Paige sat wondering how she was going to start her life without the fear of Eric being part of it. He had made the past few months of her life a living hell. It was hard for her to think of a time before him.
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Paige ran to answer the ringing phone. “Hello?” she said as she lifted the phone to her ear. “Hi! Is AJ around?” she heard a female voice ask. “Sure. Let me get him for you.” Paige said to the woman. She yelled into the house, “J! Phone’s for you!” She heard him coming towards the room in which she was sitting. “Here he comes,” she told the person waiting on the phone. AJ walked into the room and picked up the waiting phone. Paige inevitably heard his end of the conversation. “Yo!” “Hey sweetie!” “Yeah sure!” “What time?” “Sure, I’ll be there.” “Yep.” “Sure.” “See you then. Bye!”
AJ hung up the phone and turned to Paige. “I’m going our for a while. I’ll be back later tonight sometime.” She watched him leave the room to get ready for his apparent date. She felt her heart break. It has been almost two months since the night she had left Eric. She only fell more in love with AJ each day since then. And she still hasn’t told him how she feels. She seen him go out with girls and it tore her heart apart, knowing it could be her. But still she kept her mouth shut about her feelings.
He came back into the room to give her a hug and say good bye before he left. “Have fun!” she said as he was going out the door. “I will. I hope to make a few dreams come true tonight!” he told her just as he was out of the house. Hearing those words started a steady flow of tears. “Why can’t I just talk to him? I tell him everything. Why is it so hard to just let it slip out once?” she began asking herself. She sat down to watch some TV, since she had nothing else to do for the day. She settled down watching a marathon of her favorite childhood show. She watched re-runs of “I Dream of Jeannie” as she felt herself drift off into a light sleep.
Suddenly she felt the couch move underneath of her, indicating someone was beside her. Rather than acknowledge that she knew they were there, she kept her eyes closed. She felt the familiar fingertips run along her cheekbone. She heard him sigh. “I know you thought I was going out on a date tonight. I wish I could tell you what I am really up to though. Soon. Soon you will know.” He sat there a few more minutes before he leaned down and kissed her softly on her cheek. “Soon you will know just how much I really love you!”
After hearing those words, she was unable to lay there pretending to sleep. She opened her eyes to look at him. He had his hand lying on her cheek with his eyes closed. She lifted her hand to put it on top of his. He felt her moving and looked down at her. “Paige. “ he started. She cut him off. “SShhh! I don’t want you to say a word.” He stared at her. “But Paige..” “Alexander! Shut up!” she said to him. She moved so she could sit up beside him. He tried to speak again, and she crushed her hand over his mouth.
“Don’t even dare to take back what you just said. Don’t do it!” she whispered to him. He sat wide-eyed staring at her. “She heard that?” he thought to himself. She looked deep into his eyes, not saying a word. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. But she knew she couldn’t let him go. She needed him. Suddenly he stood up and walked away from her. As she watched him cross the room, she felt tears welling in her eyes. “Maybe he didn’t mean it that way. Not the way I want him to. He doesn’t love me as I love him!” she began telling herself.
AJ walked over and looked out towards their back yard through the sliding glass doors. He couldn’t face her. He was to embarrassed. He was afraid of how she was going to act to him saying he loved her. She looked at him once before leaving him alone. She walked slowly up the stairs to her room. She needed to think. And she couldn’t do that in the same room as him. Sitting on her bed, she faced the window to look out at the night sky, full of stars. She silently wished on one. Hoping that someday her and AJ would be together the way they should be.
AJ turned and noticed she had left the room. He listened for her throughout the house, before going to look for her. When he stumbled upon her room, through the open door, he saw her still sitting on her bed facing the sky. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist before she could even turn around. He held her tight in his arms as he made the decision that she needed to know how he REALLY felt, and she needed to know now.
Paige knew it was AJ. The comfortable, familiar feel of his arms around her middle. She leaned back into him, causing him to let out a small moan. She noticed this, but made no comment. She only smiled to herself. Just as she was turning to say something to him, he finally did it. He leaned down and took her lips into their first kiss. As he kissed her, he pulled her closer to him. Squeezing her, as though he were afraid to let her go.
Paige, unsure as to what was happening right now, finally pulled away from the kiss. She weaseled out of his tight grasp. “AJ..” she started. “SShhhh!” he said as he took her face in his hands. “Paige, there is something you need to know. Something I need to tell you!” She shifted her gaze slightly. He leaned down to rest his forehead on hers. Even the slightest movement by her would cause her to make extra contact with him, so she stood motionless waiting for him to tell her what he had to say.
AJ stood there leaning towards her for a few minutes, his eyes closed. Finally he let out the breath he never realized he was holding. He whispered to himself, “It’s now or never,” as he lifted his face from hers. Putting his fingers under her chin, he lifted her face to meet his eyes. Looking deep into the green of her eyes, he spoke from the bottom of his heart. “Paige Jillian Sawyer, you have been one of my best friends since the day I meet you almost four years ago. We have been through practically everything together. You make my life complete. And I want you to know that I love you!”
Paige brushed her fingers gently across his cheek. “I know that silly. And I love you too!” AJ let go of her face to grab her hands in his. “No Paige, that is not what I mean. I am telling you that one of those days in these four years; I not only loved you, but also fell in love with you. And every second of every day since then, I have only fallen more in love with you than I ever thought possible!” Paige looked at him speechless. She was trying to digest what she had just heard.
AJ saw the surprise in her eyes. He misread it for disappointment. He knew when he told her it would either make or break them. He had just hoped it would be better than this. He kissed her gently on the cheek. Then let go of her hands and walked quietly out of her room leaving her alone.
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Paige watched him walk out the door closing the door softly behind him. “Dammit! Why couldn’t I just tell him?” she yelled at herself. After a few minutes she left the room in search of him. He needed to know. There was no more holding back anymore. She searched the house not finding him. Then she walked out onto the front porch, looking out into the dark yard. “He must have went for a walk to think,” she thought to herself. Thinking of nothing else she could do, she sat on the top step, with her elbows on her knees and her chin resting in her hands.
“AJ, I wish I would have told you!” she whispered into the night air. She sat there quietly for close to ten minutes before speaking again. “AJ, please come home. I need to tell you that I love you more than life itself. I have wanted to tell you for the longest time, but was afraid too. I’m not afraid anymore!” She was so lost in herself that she never realized him sitting just a few feet from her, in the darkness on the porch. After hearing her proclaim her love, he couldn’t sit there any longer. He quietly walked up behind her, and squatted down to her level. She felt the presence behind her and turned to see him there. “Oh.. AJ.” she started. But before she could get another word out, he had his mouth on hers.
Paige snaked her arms around his neck, holding him tight as he kissed her. She kissed him back as though it would be the only kiss they shared. He eventually maneuvered them so that he could lay her back on the floor of the porch. He looked deep into her eyes, grabbed her hands in his own and said to her, “I love you more than possible Paige. And now that I know you love me too, I am holding onto you and never letting go!” She interrupted him to say, “Alexander James, I love you too. I love you!” With that said, they moved together to share another kiss.
After laying there kissing for what seemed like hours, they lie staring at the stars in the sky. AJ pointed out a shooting star to her. “Paige, sweetie look! Make a wish!” She looked at the star, then AJ, than back at the star. “I wish that what we share right now, is what we will always have together,” she thought to herself. AJ looked at the star wishing to himself, “I wish that she knows and understands that I am here for her. I am all she is ever going to need for the rest of her life!” The two ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms there under the night sky.
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