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BENEATH YOU -----
Season 7, Episode 2
Pink Hair Gal: What's up with Episode 2 having more exposition
recap than Episode 1?
Giles: Will you endless line of tragically doomed ladies just shut
up already?! You are completely ruining my intro here. Don't
you have something else you do reasonably well?
Pink Hair Girl: *SPLAT*
Giles: I meant besides that.
Season Evil: Any questions?
Spike: Just one. How much guest star money did you blokes drop on
that morphy montage thing last episode there?
Season Evil: (glares menacingly)
Spike: I'll just go back to the irrational babblings now, then...
yeah...
Buffy: Lurk, lurk... poke, poke... hanging around in the basement
really becoming a theme here.
Willow: Don't wanna go!
Giles: Go.
Willow: No-o!
Giles: Don't make me revoke your lightsaber privilages, young
Padawan.
Willow: (pouts) You're liking this "Overbearing Master
Mentor" thing too much.
Xander: You know what we need around here? Something new! Fresh!
Spontaneous!
Nancy: Heeeeelp! Save me someone!!
Xander: Ah! (puffs out chest) Don't worry! I can handle
this!
Nancy: A burrower just ate my dog!
Xander: (pause) Oh. (yells) BUFFY!!!
Spike: Something's up. Came to help. I was told by this guy
that--- I! I mean, I heard that--
Xander: A donkey ate her dog.
Nancy: Wha--?
Spike: Didn't tell me that part.
Nancy: Burrower. Not Burro, dipwad.
Buffy: Oookay, time for slaying...
Buffy: Hmm. Long, wind-ey line of dug-up ground. (sigh) This can
only mean one thing.
Spike: Bugs Bunny.
Buffy: (stares)
Spike: Or Gopher. You know, from "Winnie the--
Buffy: (walks off)
Spike: Crap.
Xander: GAK! Burrower! Worm Burrower! Worm of Burrowing! Burm
of... worrowing...
Nancy: You know, my boyfriend Ronnie was such a slimy worm!!
Sometimes I just wish--
Xander: Bingo. Yahtzee. Battleship sunk. Uno---
Nancy: (glares)
Xander: Stopping now.
Anya: I've got a lov-e-ly bunch of vengeance wishes...
deedle-ee-dee-dee... there they are a-sitting in a row... dum,
dum, dum... Trolls and Worm Boys. Some as big as your---
Xander: Change the boy back.
Anya: NO! Err.. who?
Spike: Can't I just hit her already??
Ronnie Worm: GRRRRAAAAAGH!
Nancy: Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh--
Buffy: (swings in) Heeere I come to save the-- (over-swings)
*SPLAT*
Spike: So I can beat this up, yes?
Buffy: Well, yeah, I guess. Unless it happens to--
Ronnie Worm: *MORPH*
Spike: *STAB*
Ronnie Man: Oooooowie!!!!
Buffy: Gets all human-ey again.
Spike: S'not fair. I try to be a good boy... burn... devours...
I...
Nancy: He always this coherent?
Buffy: Well, he used to be better. But then he and I started
sleeping together. And then there was that time in the bathroom.
And then he kinda up and vanished for a while there...
Ronnie: Yoo-hoo? Bleeding out through the shoulder here?!
Remember me?
Spike: I became... different. They gave it back. It has such
power.... shooting through... dirty, dirty---
Buffy: God!! You became an NRA Member??!
Spike: (rolls eyes) Swing and a miss, luv. Swing and a---
Buffy: A shortstop! You became a---
Spike: Wrong again.
Buffy: Pastry chef?
Spike: Bloody, we're gonna be here a while.
(four hours pass)
Spike: SOUL! I got my soul back you thick,
brain-deficient--
Buffy: Oh. And he-ey! And.... sucks to be you.
Spike: (collapses on the cross)
Buffy: (walking away) Spike? You smell something burning?
(The little Grr! Argh! demon drives across the screen in a firetruck... on his way to extinguish Spike.)