----- THE REPLACEMENT -----
Season 5, Episode 3

Xander: Buffy's studying?!
Riley: Instead of having sex with me?!
Anya/Buffy/Xander: LAST SEASON!

Riley: We'll just---
Buffy: -- check out the new bedroom.
Xander: I thought that was last season?!

Real Estate Woman: Fool Basement Boy.

Demon: Fear me!
Giles: Has anyone ever told you that your face looks like Mount Vesuvius in eruption?
Demon: *THWAP*

Xander: Ooo! Pointy-stick man! Nya-nya! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with pointy sticks?
Stick: BOOM!
Xander 1: Ouch!
Xander 2: Ouch!

Real Estate Woman: Suave Basement Man.
Xander 2: I get that a lot.
Xander 1: (outside) Pffft!

Xander 1: You're the fake.
Xander 2: No, YOU'RE the fake!
Xander 1: No, you!
Xander 2: No, you!
Buffy: Can I just slap both of you?

Willow: Too bad I'm gay now, or I might actually, possibly, in some strange and offbeat sort of way, be slightly attracted to you.
Xander 1: That's sweet... I think.

Anya: Everything you say could be oddly constrewed into the sayings of a demon who stole my boyfriend's face, notice that?
Xander 2: Just a coincidence.
Anya: Oh. Okay!

Giles: Dear Lord!
Buffy: Ooo. Whenever he says that, something's up.
Giles: Something is up.
Buffy: Toldja so.

Xander 1: I'll shoot you.
Xander 2: No, I'll shoot you.
Xander 1: No, I will!
Xander 2: No, I will!
Buffy: Now there are GUNS involved? Yeesh.

Xander 1&2: Anyone ever told you that your face looks like Mount Vesuvius in eruption?
Demon: *snarl*, *THUNK*

Anya: How exactly do we put them back together again?
Willow: I saw this in a movie once. Salica-doo, la migica-boo, la bipiddy-bopiddy-boo. Put 'em together and what have you got?
Xander: That never works. Hey! It worked.
Willow: See?
Xander: Thank you, Fairy Godmom.
Anya: As long as he doesn't turn into a pumpkin at midnight. You can't make out with those. Well, you could, but it would be kinda icky and draw strange looks from all sorts of people.

(The little Grr-Argh! demon waddles across the screen)

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