Electra: The Pollicle Slayer
ONCE MORE, WITH MEWING

Electra: Oh Everlasting Cat!

Pounce: Save me!

Tugger: We're back in this parody series---

Munku: --- and there are actual songs in this one.

Dem: Haven't we always had songs?

Tanti: True, but these songs were actually written FOR the episode.

Pounce: Hense the reason we've skipped ahead, oh, three seasons or so?

Kel: You've got it, buster!

Misto: Hey! You usually write MY series!

Kel: Yeah, well..... I like this episode, and I called shotgun, so---

Jelly: GUNS?!

Kel: It's a figure of speech!

Jelly: Well, I figure that you need to work on your SPEECH, dear.

Kel: (grabs her head and rocks back and forth) Why did I want to do this again? Veroni, you're evil, handing this off to your little sister!!

Veroni's Disembodied Voice: You wanted it, dipstick! Now, deal!

Kel: Do they always have to act this way?

VDV: You know the answer to that!

The day opens at Electra's house, her mother having died in an episode we chose to skip over... along with the entire 5th season.

Jelly: I'm dead? WHOOPIE!! See you all around! (runs away faster than is probably healthy for a cat of her advancing age)

Bringing everything up to speed as fast as humanly possible... Jelly got sick and died, Pounce got over Vicky who dumped him to go be on her own show with Misto....

Pounce: I'm appaled! Vicky left me to climb the ladder of success! It's not fair! This isn't like her! I---- Nah. This is Vicky. That's EXACTLY what she'd do.

Vicky: Hey!

... but since Pouncival picked up 1100 year old ex-Peke, Rumpleteazer, life is a box of chocolates once again.

Pounce: Whee!

Rumple: Oi think Oi've been insulted. Mebee....

Electra, Misto-less and drifting, has been through a parade of boyfriends, finally landing on---

Misto: Poor choice of words.

AHEM. Finally settling on no one. Although Tugger, recently returned to Junkyard, and implanted with a chip so he can't hurt anyone, has got the hots for our Slayer.

Pounce: Hmmm. They neutered him, huh?

Tugger: WATCH IT, BUSTER!

Bustopher: What?

Tugger: Not you! I said Bust-ER, not Bustopher!

Electra: Tugger wants me?? *le sigh*

Tugger: Here we go again..... (runs away from a stampede of kittens as fast as his legs can carry him)

Life marches on. Oh, yeah, and Electra just got back from being dead all summer. She has a little sister named Tantomile now, who was introduced in season 5. Jemima, after loosing Plato, has settled on a nice, safe relationship with shy new girl in town, Demeter.

Pounce: Well, you got the shy part down. Demi jumps at her own SHADOW!

Dem: AAAAHHHHH! MACAVITY!

Kel: *sigh* Help me.

The morning dawns and Electra doesn't want to get out of bed. She still feels blah. It's that whole post-post-mortem thing. Following her through the day, we see Pounce and Rumple preparing for their wedding, Tantomile getting ready for school, and Munkustrap is training Electra in her Slayer duties.

Cut to the evening. Electra's patrolling and feeling down again, as usual, when....

Electra: Every single night
The same arrangement:
I go out and fight the fight
Still I always feel the strangest strangment
Nothing here is real
Nothing here is right!

Pounce: When... she sings?

Dem: Yeah, hense the Musical part of this Musical, dingbat.

Pounce: Hey! How dare you call me a.... dingbat? Running out of insults, aren't you?

Electra: I've been making shows
Of trading blows
Just hoping no one knows
That I've been going through the motions
Walking through the part

Kel: Quick! We need something for her to turn to dust! Volunteers?

Cats: (stare at the floor, hastilly move for the litter pan, etc)

Kel: Cabucketty? You. And Admetus? You.

Victor: Poor fools. They haven't learned how I keep away from the casting director's wrath. Stealthilly I---

Kel: Victor? You too.

Victor: -- put my foot in my mouth.


Electra: (who's been continuing on through this) Now I find I'm wavering
Crawl out of your grave, you find this fight
Just doesn't mean a thing!

Victor: She ain't got that swing!

Munku: (struts on in a tophat and tails) It don't mean a thing if it ain't....

Kel: Munkustrap! You're not in this scene!

Munku: Spoilsport.

Electra: Thanks for noticing.

Three Cats: She does pretty well with fiends from hell,
But lately, we can tell,
(Cabucketty kicks the bucket... oooo. Bad pun.)
That she's just going through the motions
Faking it, somehow.

Admetus: She's not even half the girl she (Lec kicks him across the room) ----- OW!!

Kel: Very good Admetus! Way to stay in character!

Admetus: No! THAT HURT!

Kel: Heh. 'Magine that.

Electra: I don't want to be
Going through the motions!
Loosing all my drive!
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just wanna be....
ALLLLLIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!

Cats: Ears. Ow. Pain!!

Tugger: Coffee break!

Kel: Hey! Who said so?

Tugger: This is a musical, isn't it?

Kel: So?

Tugger: It's in the contract. If the first song is greatly drawn out and takes up the whole first part, a Coffee Break is a reasonable demand.

Kel: Since when?

Tugger: The Cats Exploited Rudely Through Showtunes act.

Kel: (watches them leave) CERTS?