September 11, 2001, became a benchmark. To a nation, the crashing of airliners filled with passengers into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania represents a collective outrage and a horrific violation of what this country stands for. To individuals and families, the loss is terribly personal.

And on Thursday the pain and sense of loss will well up again for us collectively and as individuals, alongside a new sense of purpose and caring.

Christine Barton of Hobe Sound is one of those who lost a loved one in the attacks on the twin towers. Her daughter Jeanmarie "Jaime" Wallendorf, 23, worked for the financial company Keefe Bruyette and Woods in the second tower in the World Trade Center. She was on the 89th floor when the plane hit. She was one of 69 employees to die in the attack. Her remains were identified months after the attack, and Barton buried her daughter in Fernhill Memorial Gardens in Stuart.

Last year on the first anniversary, Barton, who has four other children, held a candlelight vigil at her Poinciana Gardens home. Why?

"I did go to New York when it all had happened and searched for my daughter, and met families who also lost someone," Barton explained. She returned to Florida a few weeks later and found the experience had changed her. The bonding that had helped her in New York was absent here. She felt only in New York City was the sense of loss so painfully palpable.

So she held the vigil, what she called "a hope service," to put the spotlight on how a catastrophe in New York City and elsewhere, spreads itself to all parts of the country. Even tiny Hobe Sound.

This year to honor the memory of the young woman who attended Jupiter High School in the mid-1990s, Barton has gained use of the civic center and field at Poinciana Gardens. There will be a vigil, music and a videotape Barton put together.

"I don't want to talk about the tape in advance because I want people to be surprised," she said this week.

Poinciana Gardens is on the west side of U.S. 1, north of Massey Yardley Chrysler Dodge. The event is free and open to the public, and will be held rain or shine.

Asked if the pain has lessened with the passage of two years, Barton replied quickly, "No, not at all. But I'm learning to deal with it."

Georgette Gill and her husband, John, are learning to deal with it, too. John's son Paul was a firefighter in New York City who died trying to rescue people from the Marriott Hotel that was part of the World Trade Center complex.

The Gills packed up their memories and moved from New York to Jupiter in May. Moving has helped them, said Georgette.

"Sometimes I feel a disconnect, not being in New York," she said, "but it definitely helped to move here."

The pain and sense of loss never go away, says Georgette. "I describe it as going from grief to sadness."

In the weeks and months following Paul's death, his father and stepmother set up a Web site in his honor. It is frequently updated with messages and mementos. That Web site is www.angelfire.com/ny5/paulgill.

Since moving to Abacoa, John has put together a handsome cabinet to display items related to Paul's life. A color photograph of the young man in his firefighter's gear smiles out from one shelf. And in obtaining a Florida license plate for his car, John picked a 9/11 memorial plate with the message 911 HERO.

John, who has struggled with his loss, has strong feelings about the disposition of the site where the towers, the Marriott and adjacent buildings crumbled in fire, smoke, steel and blood.

"That's sacred ground," he declared, "and no developer should be allowed to build there. City officials in New York are not considering the surviving members and those who hold that ground sacred." He fears local politics and the high value of the real estate will eventually lead to construction on the site christened Ground Zero following the attacks.

The footprints of the Towers and the Marriott, says John, "should be preserved. Trees from all the nations that lost people on 9/11 should be planted around the Marriott site. On the site of Tower 1, which was the second to fall, there should be a monument, a museum built above the bedrock to show the items that were pulled from the ruins.

"And at Tower 2, there should be a memorial for all the victims ... including those who died in 1993," he added. Six people died when a car bomb exploded in a parking lot below the trade center in February 1993.

John and Georgette are driving north for two weeks to visit family, see a new granddaughter and spend some time with Paul's wife and two sons in Connecticut. They'll reconnect with friends, family and, of course, the memories.

They will attend a ceremony in Paul's honor. "The street where Paul grew up (35th Street in Astoria, Queens) will be named in his honor," said Georgette.

Although John and Georgette will be up North on September 11, Paul Gill will have a presence here on that anniversary. Scott and Esther Margolis, friends of the Gills in their northern lifetime and now neighbors in Abacoa, will hold up Paul's photo during Thursday's observance at Roger Dean Stadium.

Radio station WIRK 107.9 will stage its first "Freedom Ride" to honor heroes and victims of 9/11. The celebration will culminate at Roger Dean Stadium, where an acoustic concert will feature country music singer Buddy Jewel.




- randall.murray@scripps.com