"when all the wind covers the trace,
of all the tears, that I had to waste
and now, I'm missing you so
and I wont let you go away

When I look outside the window,
and I see the world going by
I know memories of you,
forever will stay
and the scent of your perfume,
and the smile on your face,
will remain...

I never give up hope,
when things got me down
I though that it was just my pride,
and have nothing left to hide

well now the way is clear, and all I want to say is this:

All of my life, the doors have been closed,
and all of my dreams have been locked inside
till you came along and captured my heart..

"SHIT!"  AJ said as he throw his guitar across the studio.

"O God I just, I just can't take it no more" he said as he just stood laying on the floor and a fresh trail of tears started running down his face.

**************


"Brian?" Leighanne called

"Yes'" he said as he turned around to face her

"You wanna talk? You've just been standing there writing all afternoon, what's wrong?"


"AJ left the group" he said while he was writing something down

"What?" she asked as she got a chair and sat next to him

"yes, what you've heard"

"How come?"

"Just like that, we were all talking about the new tour and all, and he just drop the bomb"

"wow, well we all knew one day this day would come" when she said those words Brian just stared at her "What? Look Brian, you know that in show business things like that happen"

"But, we were more than just a group, they are my team, my family"

"I know, Honey" she said as she hugged him "I know..."

"If he goes on with this, I'll need your help Leigh.."

"I'm here" she said as they hugged tighter

********************

Howie arrived at his mom's house and opened the door, he called her name but it seemed like no one was home. He  made himself confortable and picked the phone, he then reached down at his pocket and took a piece of paper and started dialling the number trish had given him of her place on Portugal.

"Tou sim?" someone answered (It's like Hello, the way we answer the phone)

"Hello? Sorry , it's Howie here can I please speak to Trish?"

"Trish? oh.. yeah, just a minute" she said as she went to call her

"Hey, she is the bathroom, she'll be out in a minute ok? "

"Ok, thanks"

"I'm her mother, but you an call me Teresa"

"Aw sorry, for being this rude, I just .."

"No problem son, I think she is gonna take it upstairs"

"Thank you, it was nice talking to you, hope to meet you soon"

"me too" she said as Trish got to the phone
 

"Hello?"

Howie smiled as he heard that so familiar voice

"Hey, how are you?"

"Howie, well I'm ok, just some morning sickness, damn I don't even know why they call it morning sickness I get them all the time" she said as he laughed a little

"You mom seems like a nice lady.."

"She is"

"Does she...?"

"Know about me pregnant? we don't have any secrets from each other"

"oh.. and. How did it go? is she ok? you know with all this situation?"

"She was very supportive about it all, and well like she always insists on reminding me, she raised me well , and thought me how to make the right decisions."

"That's nice, you know what?"

"What?"

"I miss you"

"Come on Howie don't go on telling me stuff like that"

"It's truth, I just thought you would like to know it"

"I miss you guys too, but... Anyway How's Blondie?"

"Linda? well dunno but I guess she and Nicky boy have been busy"

"Well I can imagine that"

"Yeah" he said with a sad tune of voice

"Howie? What's wrong?"

"nothing, it's just noting ... don't worry"

"Hey, we are friends aren't we?"

"yeah"

"So tell me, something is up isn't it?"

"Well.. yeah... It's AJ, he ..."

"He what?" she asked felling a bit nervous

"He left the band"

Trish stood there trying to understand the meaning of those words.

"Trish? you there? Talk to me"

"Sorry, I'm just..."

"Shocked?.. well, right now, I just don't know what to think of AJ"

"What happened?"

"He just came up with some shit about how he was tired and all.." he explained as in the other side Trish just stood there biting her bottom lip

"... so, well me and the guys talked and we'll try to talk him out of it, but I think he has made up his mind, and without AJ there is not gonna be no more Backstreet boys, it's just not the same.. and what's worst is that, I just know it has something to do with me, I can fell it... and man I just can't  help felling guilty, I even went there to talk to him and he practically throw me out of his place"

Trish just stood there listening to every word he said.

"T?.. you there?" he asked when he noticed she wasn't saying a word

"Yeah sorry, just thinking about it..."

"Sorry I didn't want to bother you with that"

"No, no, don't be sorry, I'm glad you told me"

"I needed to talk to someone"

"Anytime, now I better get going ok?"

"K"

"Trish?"

"Yes?"

"I love you"

Trish froze and couldn't say a word then Howie said:

"Look, you don't have to answer me the same, I know that in time the felling will grow on you, k?"

"K, sorry"

"hey it's ok, I understand"

"Thanks"

"So you sure everything is ok, with you and the baby and all?"

"Yeah, i'm felling fine, tomorrow I'm going to a little cousin's christianization, it's gonna be nice to see the gang again"

"The gang?"

"yeah my family, they are just whack"

"ha ha ha, ok call me back if you need anything ok?"

"K"

"And Trish, you know when you're coming here? I want you to meet my mom and all my family"

"I dunno Howie, I'll think about it..."

"Ok, you have plenty of rest and.."

"Howie, One mom is enough for me, but thanks for caring"

"K, k" he said laughing a little

"Bye Howie, tell the guys I sent my love"

"I will, bye"

Trish sat there by the little sofa as she thought of what Howie had just told her, AJ leaving the band?
"Man I know it's me, fuck, wy the hell did I even showed up on their lifes??" she said to herself