Timeline ---- *1/2 (out of 5) (2003)
Cast: Paul Walker, Frances O'Connor, Gerard Butler, Billy Connolly, David Thewlis
Director(s): Richard Donner
Screenwriter(s): Jeff Maguire, George Nolfi
Released on: November 26, 2003
Reviewed on: December 15, 2003
Rated: PG-13 - for intense battle sequences and brief language
A group of archaeologists set up a dig to investigate finds and stone carvings from the 1300's. After digging into an underground room, they discover a plea for help written on ancient stone by Chris Hughes(Paul Walker)'s father after his short two-day absence. They learn some astounding things from a company called ITC who used their newest invention to send Chris's father back in time to 1357 AD but ended up stranding him there in the process. With a limit of six hours, a small group of brave travelers are sent back in the past to rescue the professor. The only problem is they've sent back to Castlegard, France and find themselves caught up in one of history's greatest Medieval struggles.
If you're looking for a remarkable, solid piece of cinematic art that will stick in your mind for months after seeing it, TIMELINE doesn't come close to what you're looking for by a long shot. While performing the hideous act of sitting through this bore-fest, I couldn't help but notice many similarities between TIMELINE and THE MUMMY. The 1999 version, that is. However, THE MUMMY was campily entertaining while TIMELINE is just downright offensive in a moronic way. Action flicks are fun to go to the theatre and see on weekends, but when the film gets to a point where the events going on become overwhelming and tiresome, then you've got a film that's overdone and backed by a ridiculous budget.
The characters don't even deserve to be mentioned. Their mediocrity made them quite forgettable almost two hours after I saw the film. Quite a few of them get picked off after a short time in the past but you don't really feel for any of them except the shy Frenchman who was frightened of time travel in the first place that gets impaled early on. That was disappointing. His role was made for the purpose of translating French since he spoke it fluently, so what was the point of killing him off? Oh well. I guess it didn't matter. Most of the French people spoke fairly understandable English anyway. In fact, almost all of the minor characters that participated in the trip to the past were killed anyway so the only ones we were left with were the characters essential to the story. I guess the filmmakers needed to associate a few bloody deaths with the Dark Ages. I wouldn't have minded seeing Paul Walker get a nice arrow to the head, but he provided the tough baritone of a voice usually associated with action heroes, and I chuckled often every time I witnessed his idiotic attempts at machismo. This could be considered a comparison to Rick O'Connell in the MUMMY remake, but at least Brendan Fraser pulled off the performance with a little style rather than walking and talking like a zombie.
Another thing that made TIMELINE a dreadful experience was the lack of interums between each battle. There really was no break between each yawn-inducing sword fight or chase scene. First, the characters escape from a village and fend off a few enemies only to retreat into the forest and find even more armored knights on horseback hot on their heels. The film almost seemed like one, big long action piece. And who knows? Maybe that's what it was supposed to be. Either way, I was bored and irritated for most of the duration due to the noisiness of the film being almost impossible to ignore. Watching TIMELINE is almost equivalent to being forced to sit through a kiddie carousel ride at the fair that seems to be moving at 3 mph and every minute seems like an hour.
<<<< Back To Contrabandit's Movie Reviews
