He sat there, next to her, with her, holding her hand which was still warm and he could sware there was a faint pulse running through. Her eyes were closed, but trails of salty tears still clung to her skin. He had tried to kiss most of those tears away while she was still awake, but after her eyes closed, he realized there were too many.
He traced a deep red path on the inside of her arm, one of many. He followed the bloody gashes from her elbow down to her wrist and took her hand in his. Seven days was all he had with her, but he knew more about her in those seven days than he had known about his bandmates in seven years. She was the love of his life, and he didn't know how he could ever live without her in his life.
He wanted just a little more time with her, just a little more time to hold her, kiss her and be with her. He knew that soon the ambulence would get there and pry her hands from his, take her away from him. He knew that she'd be driven to a cemetary, burried six feet below the world, but at least she wouldn't be burried in Waldorf. It was no place for her; an angel like her doesn't belong in the cold ground.
He kissed her lips, which still retained some pink in them. His hands were still clasped around hers, and he swore there was a pulse, a faint one, but there was always hope, there had to be. Deep down, he knew that hope was just something he had been fed all his life. Hope couldn't exist, if it did, he wouldn't be holding her as she slowly slipped away.
He kissed her forehead. "Don't go, Ashton, don't," he whispered in her ear, praying she could hear him. "I love you, I love you, don't go," He repeated over and over again. He swore there was a pulse, there had to be, she couldn't leave him. She loved him, he loved her, they were meant to be together. Everything that had gone wrong just for them to meet again seven days ago wasn't a coincident, there were no coincidents.
A paramedic pulled him away from her, she was still warm. Tears flowed down his cheeks, and he cried her name as they walked him into the hall of the hotel which was only twenty miles from their final destination.
He watched them wheel her out on a stretcher, amazed to see that she wasn't in a body bag. "There's no hope for her, son," The paramedic said. "We'll do all we can, but there's no hope." No hope, he knew it. He knew hope didn't exist. Tears flowed quickly down his cheek, and seeped through his hands that covered his face.
He sat crouched in the hall, sobbing. She was so dead set on getting out of this world, Joel was sure that she was gone. She had no more will, life, or soul left in her body. He ran down the stairs, and out where she was getting ready to be put in an ambulence. She looked as beautiful as the first day he met her, he couldn't believe that he'd never get to hold her again.
"I love you, Ashton, I love you." He whispered and kissed her forehead, "Good-bye." They lifted the stretcher into the ambulence, as he stood and watched the love of his life leave. He knew there was no other girl for him, it was Ashton, it was always Ashton. He knew he'd never love anyone like her ever again. He didn't know how he'd be able to wake up, face the day, make music, live. He didn't know how he was supposed to cope with life without Ashton.
It all seemed so surreal; he couldn't believe the cruelty of a god that would give him her, than take her away so quickly.
He answered a few questions for police through his pain and daze. Afterwards, he called Benji and told him he was coming home. There was no need for him to stay, there was no more hope left in him. His faith was deminished and the only place he wanted to be was at home, in his bed, and with his friends. He was going home.
"Piano Song" By The Juliana Theory
Old friend, I hear you
I know just how you feel
I've been in your shoes before
I've seen your worries,
And I can understand everything you going through
And I believe in you
Your time is coming
Don't give up tonight
There's a life ahead
Your time is coming
Don't let go tonight
My friend, I've listened
Things only can improve
You have all the time in the world
So keep on fighting,
And never let them say there's anything that you can't do
Cause I believe in you
Your time is coming
Don't give up tonight
There's a life ahead
Your time is coming
Don't let go tonight
I watched as you sat with a cigarette in your hand,
holding a drink in the other,
Trying to drown all your pain:
And I believe in you
Your time is coming
Don't give up tonight
There's a life ahead
Your time is coming
Don't let go tonight
Old friend, you'll realize,
Good things are worth the wait
Enjoy the times that you have
You'll see a new day,
When darkness fades again,
And the sun can rise to shine
And I believe in you
Your time is coming
Don't give up tonight
There's a life ahead
Your time is coming
Don't let go tonight.