"I'm twenty-four, Billy, and I've only had two girlfriends. There is something horribly wrong with that."
"There's nothing wrong with that."
Benji sneered. "Oh, shut up! You have a new girl every time I turn around. What would you know."
"Can we go a day without you two battling each other out for pimp of the bus?" Paul pulled his headphones off and looked at the two.
Billy and Benji exchanged glances then pounced on the blonde. They battled this out for a while until Benji pulled away with a bruise on his arm. "Dude, look what you did." He shoved his elbow in Paul's face, prompting the blonde to outline a tattoo. "When'd you get this done?"
Benji pulled his arm back from Paul and looked at the ink. He sat there for a moment, trying to remember. His body was covered in tattoos.
"Didn't you get that done with Kai?" It flashed back, he had gotten it done with Kai. Joel knew Benji's tattoos better than him.
"One half of your love life." Benji glared over at Billy. "Look, there's nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend." He defended and backed off the subject quickly. He didn't want Benji to tackle him.
Joel snorted. "For a normal person that would be true, but Benji needs his kisses!" Benji looked over at his brother, smiled proudly, and acknowledged his kissing-addiction.
"Who's got a kissing addiction?" John looked over at Benji, reeling in thoughts of kissing. "Oh, you." John was the tour manager of Good Charlotte. Someone to keep the boys in line every now and then. They looked like major trouble, but they were pretty well behaved; hardly drank, never smoked, and only smoked pot when they really needed to relax. Basically John was being paid to tour the world and occasionally yell at people. That was fine with the boys, they loved John.
"Kai...Kai...Kai...what was her last name?" Joel sat there, trying to figure out her last name. It was the little things that got on Joel's nerves. Forgetting names was a big one. He was great with learning them, that's why people latched onto him more than his brother. Benji was a downright good guy once time was spent with him, but he'd come out and say it if he had a problem with someone.
"LaTone." Everyone said at the same time.
Joel nodded, sat back and remembered her. She was nice. Probably one of Benji's best choices. They broke up only because she moved to California in their Junior year of high school. He moved on, didn't shatter his world too much. Kai was out of his league, and he knew it would end one way or another.
As for Joel's love life, it was better than Benji's. He had more girlfriends, but that was usually because he had a more "socially acceptable" appearance; the fact that Joel never made out with a girl unless he felt a serious connection might have also been a factor. Benji kissed everyone, everything, anything. Joel had his heart broken a couple times, but the worst heartbreak came from the one he never had.
Kai's best friend, Ashton. Ashton was one of those girls who just blew everyone away. She'd walk down the hall and turned heads. She was the kind of girl who could get any guy in the school, and only dated upper classmen. She wasn't ditzy, popular, blonde, dumb. She was the antithesis of all that. She was composed, fit into every clique in school, and smart. That wasn't what caught Joel's attention, it was her brown hair and the bright blue stand that was only visible when she put it up.
He never had a chance with her, though. She dated the kinds of guys who made fun of him in the hallways, tormented him in the locker room, and hit him after school. Rumors spread rapid about him everyday. It never got any better, high school was the worst. He'd sit behind her in class, just so he could see that blue strand. It was the only thing about her that even closely linked them together.
"She had that friend..." Billy started.
"Oh, Ashton?" Paul finished.
Joel pulled up from his thoughts about the girl he missed out on. "I was, uh, just thinking about her."
Benji smiled. "She was always accompanied Kai to our shows, back before GC. I don't think Kai ever had as much fun as Ashton."
Ashton was the girl begging Kai to come into the mosh pit, get just a little closer to the stage, to not leave before their set was over. Kai was nice, and she was there just to support Benji, but Ashton was there for the music. Even when Kai was unavailable to make it to the shows, Ashton was there front and center. She even kept coming to the shows when GC formed, well into her college years. Whenever she was in town, she'd be there.
"You had the biggest crush on her, dude. It was so obvious," Billy laughed. "I mean, you never looked at her when either of you talked. It was so painfully obvious. I was even younger than you and I could tell!"
"Don't tell me that." Joel bit the edges of his fingernails, the edges around them, they'd sometimes bleed and hurt, it was like a less aggressive form of cutting. "I can't fix it now, don't tell me about stuff I can't fix."
"Everything can be fixed. You just need the right tools." John looked up from his lap top, spouted off his advice, then went back to work. He was right in every way possible. While Joel didn't have confidence in high school, he definitely did now. That was the only tool he needed to see "what could have been".
"For You To Notice..." Dashboard Confessional
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you'd want to call me
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...
But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you need me, for you to notice me