She woke in a cold sweat. "Dammit", she said to herself, as she remembered the dream. She has these dreams every year around this time. She looked at the clock on the dresser,3:29. "I wonder if he's home", she thought to herself as she looked across the room to see her friend Lissa snoring and stretched out all over the bed. She didn't have the heart to wake her up, so she took a pen and wrote her a note.
"Lissa, Hey babe, I know this is going to sound sudden, but the dreams are back, I can't stay here anymore. I'm afraid if I do i'll go crazy. You know my number, call me if you ever need anything, you know I'll be there for you like you've been there for me all of those times. I'll see ya later babe, I promise. Love, Annie"
She grabbed her black duffle bag, and climbed out the window. She reached in her bag and pulled out her CD player and listened to her favorite band, Minor Threat, as she walked halfway across town in the middle of the night to see him. She knew it was time to explain everything. He'd be gone soon, she wasn't sure when, she just hoped it gave her enough time to explain to him everything she'd been keeping from him for their entire friendship, all she could do was pray that he was home tonight, he was her best friend, she couldn't look at him or hear his voice one more time having a guilty conscience, she knew tonight was the night. No more dodging bullets around him when he brought up her past... tonight.. he would know. Everything.
"This is it," she said. It was exactly how she had remembered it. She smiled for a second just looking at the house, looking through the neighborhood. This place held all her best memories. Then she remembered why she was there and she ran around to the side of the Madden home, and knocked on the window she used to see everynight before... well before things changed with her, with him, with their friendship, with everything.
A matured Joel came to the window. "Annabelle?!" he yelled, then covered his own mouth as not to wake anyone up.
"Joely?!" she whispered, and snickered a little at the 21 year old standing by his window in his smily face boxers and tube socks.
"That would be me, yes, but man, Annie! It's been so long! Too long, come inside, it's gotta be cold out there", he said as he reached out his hand to invite her in. "What brings you over here anyway?", he asked, looking her up and down, she's changed, he'd noticed and he was worried about her... she looked so frail and fragile, he was almost afraid to hug her, which was what he did next.
"Oh, I'm just here to hang out Joely, you know me, but obviously you and Benji switched rooms, I was very much suprised to see you come to the window", she said, as she hugged him back.
"Yeah right, Annie, I've known you too long to believe that, whats wrong... you never just come over to see me or Benji either for that matter at... 4 in the morning? Man I knew I was tired for a reason." He laughed a little and grabbed her hand and pulled her over to sit by him on the bed. "Im serious, Annie, You're like my little sister, I care about you and I know when you are upset, and obviously you are , what made you come here?", his tone was serious, and she couldn't look him straight in the eye, Joel didn't know that Benji never knew about her past, but it wasn't exactly something that someone just brought up, so he never knew that Annie had never told Benji.
"Joel, well... this is hard for me to say.. but, you know about my dad, right?", she looked down, it was too shameful for her to even think about, she hated him knowing about it, but she needed someone, and Joel was always there, she never had to worry about anything she said around him, she knew he wouldn't look down on her, or tell other people her secrets, thats what made her love him so much. "Well, I.. I never told Benji", she whispered.
Joel looked shocked, as close as those two were through elementary, junior high, and high school, he was sure she would have told Benji. "So.. is that why you're here? To tell Benji the truth about everything?"
"He's been asking me lately about my parents, like he's just now noticing that I never mentioned them growing up... and I always rushed him off the phone, or made an excuse or changed the subject..he never even know about mother... that day in 7th grade when my... my mom... died, well thats all I told him. I never hold him how, or why, Joel, you and Lissa are the only ones that I ever told." She looked away, she as about to cry, she knew he could tell, but she's always had such a "tough girl" attitude, the only time she ever did cry was when she told Joel about her mom... and she made him swear to never tell anyone, and to this day, he's kept that promise.
"Well, what are you waiting for?", he smiled. "It's better sooner than later... trust me, I know Benj is still up, I heard him leaving the bathroom right before you came in", he told her, and walked her to Benji's door, then turned around, and left her there.
She stood there for a minute before she knocked twice, and waited. Not long after, Benji appeared from the closed door. "ANNABELLE!" he yelled as he grabbed her and held her close then looked her up and down. He noticed the same thing Joel noticed, but he actually asked her about it right away.
"Annie, are you... okay? you look so pale, and you've definitely lost weight... you look sick, have you been to a doctor, you never told me anything about this...", Annie interrupted him but covering his mouth with her hand.
"Benj.. we need to talk about... my parents... I think its finally time you know the truth about them... you trusted me with yours, now its time for me to do the same", she looked down, this was even worse then with Joel, but for some reason, she didn't know why.
"My dad was a heroine addict. He would shoot everyday, he didn't care where, in private, or in front of me, it didn't matter, he didn't care if I saw him, if I saw him for who and what he was... by the time I was 10 I knew what it was, why he had to use it, and I'd even seen my mother help him do it when he was too drunk or was shaking because he 'needed' it so badly." she stopped for a minute and looked away, blinking furiously, she couldn't cry, not now, not in front of him. He grabbed her hand, looked at her, reassuring her that it was okay. She went on, "When I was 12 my mother died of an overdose, she'd killed herself, Benj, all that I can remember her saying the day before was that she wanted me to be a good girl, and to help 'Daddy'... but I couldn't understand what she meant... he wasn't even my real father... but I didn't find this out until I was 16, when I was using heroine myself to help keep my sane, although what I didn't realize that it wasn't keeping me sane, it was keeping me from realizing that I needed to get out of that place as soon as I could... then the abuse started... and he couldn't work because no one would give him a job, so he started making me prostitute myself for money for his drugs, I hated him, Benj more than anything, I felt dirty, and cheap, and no matter how much I cried or begged, he wouldn't let me stop... this is why I couldn't tell you... I thought that if you knew, then you wouldn't want to be with me, that you'd think of me as cheap and dirty too, but it wasn't until recently that I realized you would understand, I haven't eaten or slept in over a week, I was so worried about your response to all of this...", she finally broke down, she cried, harder than he ever had. "Benj, say something..." was all she could manage to get out, but he didn't know what to say, so he held her, and she got her first night of sleep in a week, safe in his arms.