*1 week later*
"No…No, please don't go, I'll change, just please don't leave me..."Rylann tossed furiously in her sleep.
"Baby…shh Ry, it's ok, I'm not going anywhere, shhh Ry it's ok, it's just a dream," Benji tried to comfort her.
"Yea…I know…" she mumbled, as she climbed out of the bunk.
"You ok Ry? Do you want me to come sit with you?" Benji asked, hardly sitting up. He was concerned, but already knew the answer.
"No babe, you stay here, you need your rest. I'm fine…" Rylann walked into the back lounge, shut the door, and turned the tv on low. Both Benji and Rylann were becoming used to the routine. Since the first night of the tour, Rylann kept waking up in the night having the same reoccurring nightmare. Benji was unfamiliar with the situation, and assumed Rylann was dreaming he left her. He knew she had issues with being alone, so he took that as the most logical explanation. Rylann, on the other hand, knew the nightmare's all too well. She was not having the horrible dream about Benji, but Jace. She started having the nightmare right after Jace left and she tried to commit.
* Flashback *
"Ms. Wilson, Ms. Wilson…wake up, you're having a dream, its ok Ms. Wilson." The nurse shook Rylann awake out of her trance. She had been in the psychiatric ward of Manhattan Memorial Hospital for 2 days now. She had started having this dream the night before. It was the day after Jace left her for good. He called the hospital and had her committed, he told her he was sorry but he couldn't live like that anymore. Rylann knew she had to change, but just didn't know how. Jace had threatened to leave her before, but never actually did. He really did love her. He stayed around all those years to try and be her savior, he really believed he could cure Rylann. But she kept getting worse, and finally he couldn't take it anymore. He picked her bloody body off the bathroom floor, called the hospital to tell them he was coming, and drove her to the building they both knew all too well. He kissed her quickly, told her he loved her, and then was gone, for good.
* End Flashback *
"Ry…"Benji called from the other side of the door.
"Yea, Benj? It's open…"she said from her seat. He pushed open the door and walked toward the human ball that was Rylann.
"Do you wanna try to come back to sleep?" He asked as he rubbed her back.
"I'm not tired…" she said shortly.
"Ry…please talk to me, what's been going on inside your head?"
"I dunno Benj…I wish I did, I'm just…very confused."
"Baby, you gotta talk about whatever's bothering you…it's the only way it'll get better." She sat up and situated herself facing Benji. He looked into her eyes comfortingly.
"There's some stuff that you don't know about me Benj. I just, don't want to scare you away…" Rylann sighed.
"Nothing you could ever say would scare me away, I love you."
"I've, just been having that dream. I started to have it right after Jace left me; after he had me committed." She took a deep breath and continued. " It's a dream of the night he left me, the last time I saw him. I begged him to stay, I promised to change…but I couldn't convince him. You see…god this is so hard! Jace and I had been together since we were 14, just one of those innocent things. Soon, we became really close and he learned all about my past. When I left home, he came with me. It was after we moved that I tried to commit for the first time. He was so afraid and confused, I swore I would never do it again…said I couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes. But I couldn't control it…sometimes, I just, couldn't take it anymore. The night he left, I had slit my wrists, and that must have been the final straw…he dropped me off at the hospital and I never saw him again." Tears were flowing freely from her eyes now. Benji quickly took her into his arms.
"Baby, I never knew…I…I'm so sorry, I didn't know." Rylann pulled away and looked down.
"Benj…that's just it. You don't know a lot about me. I know we love each other, and now you know some things, but you still don't know it all. I don't know if I can do this…I can't bear the thought of driving you away the same way I did Jace. I broke his heart Benj, and I don't want to do that to you. Isn't this all happen too fast?! I mean, geez Benj…You are the sweetest guy I have ever met, but I don't know if I am ready for so much so fast…Just two weeks ago, I was single, living on my own, and finally doing so well…Benj…you have barely known me for 5 months, doesn't that scare you?"
Benji was completely taken aback by her sudden outburst. "Ry…I understand this may not be `traditional', but it doesn't matter to me. I know I love you, and whether we get married now, or ten years from now, that isn't going to change. I know this is very sudden, and we still have so much to learn about each other…but that's the beauty of marriage, we can grow together…Rylann I love you and will do anything it takes not to loose you…" Benji pleaded.
"Don't think I don't love you, because I do…but Jace was with me for six years, I thought if anyone could stay around through everything that long, it was Jace…Benj, I just, don't know…" she sobbed. "Maybe it's just cold feet, but I don't think I am ready for this…I'm sorry Benji…I love you." She stood up and walked toward the front of the bus.
"Wait! Ry please don't go, we can talk this out…whatever it takes… Rylann, please don't leave me…" Benji cried as he ran after her. She turned back…
"I'm so sorry I hurt you Benji, I promise I will talk to you soon…"
she pulled the ring from her finger and walked out the door of the bus. She was still wearing just a pair of shorts, a tank, and some flip-flops. All her belongings were still on the bus. Benji stood there in complete shock as he watch her walk away from the bus, from their life together, from him.
"Benj…man what's goin' on, where's Ry?" A groggy Joel walked toward his twin who stared blankly out the door, with tear streaked cheeks…