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     Dream Path - RubyShuz77

     Home Cancer Sucks - Journal  Random Thots February 6 February 11, 2004 THE AWAKENING

     The path that led to her destination was winding and rocky. The rain that had fallen during the night made the stones on the path slippery. Bridget tried walking on the soil next to the path, but it was muddy. The sun’s rays that made it through the crowns of the huge trees that stood majestically on both sides of the path made patterns on the stone path that were dizzying at times. Reality merged with imagination for Bridget as she struggled along.

        "Don’t you know that I am not the others who kicked your heart around with such disregard?" her question to Edmund echoed in her head. His silence was the strongest voice that spoke to her. She knew of hurt, betrayal and heartache, but in him she found that she could trust again.

        "Who was it that broke his heart into so many pieces?" she asked the spirits that floated around her in the form of mist rising up off the wet earth. "All I want to do is be with him, but he allows me to get just so close to his heart and then a wall rises up to the heavens closing it off."

        "You cannot heal his heart, my dear. He must be willing to do that himself. That, as you well know, is a solitary journey," the mist murmured as it swirled around her form.

        "I offer him my heart with no conditions. I accept him as he is, but his past holds him immobile and at times makes him afraid that the pain now dulled in his heart will once again become unbearable. I see it in his eyes. It's as if walls of ice surround his good heart. Will he ever see me without the clouds of the past distorting his heart’s vision?"

        "My child, only time will tell. You must be patient. You have seen the eyes of children and animals that have had their spirits and bodies battered. Gentleness and patience bring them back to a whole state. So it is with the man that your heart enfolds with love."

        Sudden winds blew the mist away and rain droplets from the night storm fell from the leaves sparkling like so many gems in the scattered sunlight. The path that Bridget had been traveling disappeared and she found herself atop a stone spire. She was afraid to look down and the flat surface that she stood on was only four feet in diameter.

        "What’s happening?" she called out to the spirits that seemed to be following her on her journey to her unknown destination. No answer.

        "Don’t leave me here. I’m afraid!" she implored. "There's no way down!"

        "Let your spirit soar, Bridget. Trust. Know that anything is possible if you believe in yourself," the wind whispered as it caressed her cheek.

        "I'm not a bird with wings! I'm human. I will fall like a stone to my death! Some things are NOT possible!"

        Bridget started to cry and slowly lowered herself to a sitting position on the stone spire.

        "If you believe that to be so, it will be. It is you who put limits on yourself. Look around you, Bridget."

        Bridget lifted her head and all around her were thousands of spires and on each one was a person. Some were crying, some angry, but all were trapped.

        "Why have you done this?" Bridget yelled into the air.

        "We have not put them there. They are there because they have allowed themselves to be. They will not trust. They have chosen to go through life putting limits on the flight of their spirits. They have made themselves prisoners of their own self doubts and fears."

        "I don’t want to be here! Please, tell me what I have to do!"

        "Trust in yourself. Believe in yourself and the gifts that you were given when your spirit was created."

        Bridget looked around and saw Edmund sitting atop a spire and she called to him. No matter how she yelled, he didn’t see or hear her.

        "He has to find his own way, Bridget. Just as you do."

        Bridget stood up slowly and took a few cautious steps to the edge of the spire. She took a deep breath and looked down. Distant lights twinkled like stars in the landscape below. She wanted to be part of life again. She wanted to be part of the cycle of life that was teeming with vibrancy below.

        She looked again at Edmund. He didn’t see her.

        "What is your choice, Bridget?" the wind whispered.

        "I choose to live," she said as she moved close to the edge. She closed her eyes and stepped off the edge of the spire. Wind rushed about her as she felt the earth pulling her down. She felt no fear, just a sense of peace and rightness.

        She opened her eyes and looked around.

        "Oh my God, it was a dream," she whispered as she was enveloped with familiarity. She was in her own bed in her own room. Her mind  grabbed onto the events of the dream lest they fade away as so many others had. She knew this one was important, one that could not be filed away in the dusty archives of irrelevant memories.

        She closed her eyes as her mind and heart processed the message that she had been gifted to receive.  She could not help but understand and treasure it.

        Bridget thought of the image of Edmund as a prisoner of his own fears and her heart ached for him, but she knew that all she could do was to be herself. He would have to find his own path and take his own leap of faith toward her, but when he finally did, she would be there waiting for him with open arms and heart.