Brick Wall - Chapter 14

Call me crazy cause I am, yes I forgave him, but I wasn't going two make it that easy for him.He left in the middle of the night.This time I knew he left.When I woke up Karie was on the couch she turned to me looking really oddly.

'He got you high didn't he?'Karie asked and though it sounded really funny, her voice didn't have a peck of joke in it.

'No, Karie I know you wanna slap me silly, but really I was using my greatest judgement.'I said and looked at her w/ pleading eyes to understand.She turned her body totally around, turned off the TV and her full attention on me.I explained my feelings though she saw my truth.She was still disgusted w/ Chris and I think it was going to be harder for her to forgive him then it would be for me.After our heart2heart talk Greg called and we decided to go to the movies.It would be Chris&me, Karie&Greg.We all jumped into Chris's sports car and were off.I couldn't help but try my hardest to ignore Karie and Greg's make-out session.They could of left that at home!Chris sinced my annocance and placed his hand on my knee.Making sure I didn't feel uncomfortable.He was being sooo perfect, but I wasn't going to let my gurad down.Which kinda took away the great feeling I got when ever I was with him.Cause I just couldn't let myself into the mommet.

We soon got there and bought some tickets to see 40night&40days[YA KNow w/ that hottie Josh~Casey mann~JP]Karie and Greg went up to the top and we all know why.I really actually wanted to watch the movie so we sat right in the front.Chris just put his arm around me.He kinda felt that I was pushing him away and I was.But he also had to understand I needed time.The movie was soooo funny.If I didn't have Chris has a BF I would of died happy seeing Josh Harnett take his shirt off!!!!![I know Casey would!Jp]The movie was soon over and Karie and Greg were still insepartable!They were so into the night they wanted to see another movie.So Chris and me headed home.The silence in the car was killing me.I knew he was propbaly was sad cuase I mean we didn't even kiss me once.I had to admit I was messing his sweet taste.But something was pulling me away.I guess I was on crack that night, cause I realized that some other gurl touched Chris's heart, Lips, dang!They slept together.It kinda made me wanna through up wheneva I looked his way.Then it hit me![Long time coming..C'mon Mara u really need a reality check!]Was I Chris's last resort.Think about it.He actually in a way choose her over me.If he willing to sleep with her and not me, I would have not anywaz.One those girls who wait till im married you know?But she broke his heart and then he comes crying back to me.I was sooooo confused.I hate it when my brain starts to work!

I heard a door open.I realized Chris had stopped the car by some buildings and had opened the door for me.I got out.He walked up some stairs has I followed.It was weird that we hadn't said a word the whole night.I figured out where he had taken me.His old apartment.We went all the way up to the top.It was colder than the last time I was up here.It being November and all...

He looked at me, It freacked me out.

'Mara whats wrong?'He asked seriously.I was suprised that he was that stupid.He usually could read my mind.But I guess tonight my actions were a little off.He was sitting down, so I walked over to him and sat in between his legs and laid my head on his shoulders.I could of burst into tears.My brain must of been listening cause I was soon into tears.

'Chris....'I got up and sat right across from him I needed to look into his eyes.'I can't....seem to get the feeling of jealousey out of me and though I long for you.I know I need you.But I can't help but hurt I wanna kiss you, love you.But whenever I think about her..It turns me off...Chris was I your last resort?'I asked it plainly out.I mean I meant has well get everything out that was eating me up.It was driving me crazy.I looked at Chris he was stunned.

'Mara..you would never be a last resort for me..I love you.Though I hurt you deeply, and I know who I loved the most now.I can't take back what I did, and I can't feel what your going through.But I can love you, I can be with you and that's all I want.It was so hard for me to not kiss you, you seemed so sad.I hate that im the cause of it!'Chris deeply said.I belived everything.I could always tell if someone was lying by their eyes.But his eyes were so sad.I moved into him closely and we passionly started to kiss.I forgot about Brandy.All I could think about is Chris.He moved his hand down my back.It tickled and I switched.He pulled away slowly and gave me a longing look.I thought about it.But I made a promise with myself that I was going to keep.I shook my head no.He didn't seem mad or disappointed he just started kissing me again.We did that for a little while then we headed to Karie and mine apartment.He said goodnight and I went to sleep.I woke up the next morning and looked in the mirrior.I was a mess, but I couldn't help but see a hickie.Chris meant of not had me, but he sure made sure that everyone knew that I was his!!!!!!