OF THE HEAVENS~
& CONNIE WAGNER SR.
WAGNER JR., SARAH WAGNER &
GALLAGHER (LAST KNOWN NAME)
DEATH WAS CAUSED BY
TO COMPLICATIONS OF
FROM DAD AT PEANUT'S MEMORIAL SERVICE
TIME WITH PEANUT~
Peanut, Jot after dads service~
A POEM I WROTE
SHORTLY BEFORE PEANUT'S DEATH
My son isn't
but of magic
With a body
and a heart
that is warm.
I hear speech
in the sound
of his voice.
But this loved
child is mine
not of nature,
My son is my
my light and
A gift straight
A part of my
heart forever is gone.
How do I start
to live and to live on?
The Lord took
my baby he's no longer mine
I wonder just
maybe will things ever be fine?
His heart has
quit beating it just plain stopped
Life has a
way of cheating and sending tears to be mopped.
His lay in
his bed he was all alone.
God take me
instead I want to go home!
up Ray said to me.
sitting up he had asked to be free.
In my bed
I stayed, I lay for too long.
to Ray I am not very strong.
much has always been me,
I never knew
such a thing would happen, now I see!
If I go to
sleep something else may go wrong!
I still sleep
too deep and don't wake with the birds song.
Anton, my Peanut
you lay there so still.
I could wake you with the force of my will!
was tired, you fought the long fight!
your wired, didn't work like it might!
I told the
doctors to look at his scan,
needs some help, Please! He's my little man!
me, don't look at my skills.
Work for your
fee!!! You'll be paid for your bill!!!
His heart isn't
pacing I have said since he was 5.
It's too slow,
now it's racing, please keep my son ALIVE!
He's fun and
he's happy and, oh, his sense of humor!
not feeling crappy, his life is not a rumor!
his brother, vicarious in his life.
He wins not
only mothers but all who see past his strife!
even care that he cannot eat!
gladly give his share of what others think a treat!
needs it? He can crawl to get around.
as he can sit he is happy on the ground.
He loves to
go shopping at the door he claps and claps.
legs are just hopping when his feet aren't in straps!
How can people
say he is better off now?
alone in his bed, I am wondering how?
There is nothing
I wouldn't give to have another chance
my dear son to live I don't care that he can't dance!
I make a bargain to have back his life?
To have him
here again to be mother as well as wife?
any promise. I'll do what you want!
life that was his to have back and not haunt?
soul thru daylight and dark.
His body wasnt
whole but it had lifes eternal spark!
God, Please listen to this mothers pleas!
glisten and I am down on my knees!
Let me wake
up tomorrow from this awful dream!
To be rid
of this sorrow and eyes that still stream!
meet him in Heaven, if not on this earth,
make it work, even tho I didnt give birth!
He was the
light and the glory of life for me here.
I am sorry, I am living in fear!
When day breaks
tomorrow and I wake from my sleep,
my sorrow it's much, MUCH too deep!
ever I've done Lord, just tell me how,
I can get
back my baby and fill my arms NOW!
They are empty
and aching with the pain of his loss,
is still breaking but God your the boss.
give me some peace from this heart filled with woe,
pain will never cease on this life down below!
You gave me
the love put it deep in my heart.
Why? to push
and shove? Tell me where to start!
If he wasn't
to stay here why put in the love?
children so dear then push them out with a shove?
taken from me the son you had put here,
And left me
here Lord full of pain and fear!
BELIEVE I CAN FLY~