~WELCOME~
"IN
GOD'S HANDS"
~CHILDREN
OF THE HEAVENS~
MEMORIAL
PAGES
~ANTON
NICHOLAS WAGNER~
"PEANUT"
~PEANUT -
1999~
~BORN
TO EARTH~
AUGUST
20, 1992
~BORN
TO HEAVEN~
APRIL
10, 2000
BELOVED
SON OF:
RAY
& CONNIE WAGNER SR.
BELOVED
BROTHER OF:
RAY
WAGNER JR., SARAH WAGNER &
TIFFANY
GALLAGHER (LAST KNOWN NAME)
PEANUT'S
DEATH WAS CAUSED BY
SUDDEN
CARDIAC ARREST
DUE
TO COMPLICATIONS OF
CONGENITAL
MYOTONIC DYSTROPHY
LETTER
FROM DAD AT PEANUT'S MEMORIAL SERVICE
~OUR
TIME WITH PEANUT~
~Ray, Connie,
Peanut, Jot after dads service~
A POEM I WROTE
SHORTLY BEFORE PEANUT'S DEATH
My son isn't
normal
but of magic
he's born.
With a body
that's broken
and a heart
that is warm.
Never will
I hear speech
in the sound
of his voice.
But this loved
child is mine
not of nature,
but choice!
My son is my
lifeline
my light and
my joy!
A gift straight
from Heaven
that's my
little boy!!!
A part of my
heart forever is gone.
How do I start
to live and to live on?
The Lord took
my baby he's no longer mine
I wonder just
maybe will things ever be fine?
His heart has
quit beating it just plain stopped
Life has a
way of cheating and sending tears to be mopped.
His lay in
his bed he was all alone.
God take me
instead I want to go home!
Momma wake
up Ray said to me.
Peanuts not
sitting up he had asked to be free.
In my bed
I stayed, I lay for too long.
Didn't listen
to Ray I am not very strong.
Sleeping too
much has always been me,
I never knew
such a thing would happen, now I see!
If I go to
sleep something else may go wrong!
I still sleep
too deep and don't wake with the birds song.
Anton, my Peanut
you lay there so still.
I thought
I could wake you with the force of my will!
Your body
was tired, you fought the long fight!
Even having
your wired, didn't work like it might!
I told the
doctors to look at his scan,
His heart
needs some help, Please! He's my little man!
Listen to
me, don't look at my skills.
Work for your
fee!!! You'll be paid for your bill!!!
His heart isn't
pacing I have said since he was 5.
It's too slow,
now it's racing, please keep my son ALIVE!
He's fun and
he's happy and, oh, his sense of humor!
When he's
not feeling crappy, his life is not a rumor!
He watches
his brother, vicarious in his life.
He wins not
only mothers but all who see past his strife!
He doesn't
even care that he cannot eat!
He will
gladly give his share of what others think a treat!
Walking, who
needs it? He can crawl to get around.
As long
as he can sit he is happy on the ground.
He loves to
go shopping at the door he claps and claps.
His
legs are just hopping when his feet aren't in straps!
How can people
say he is better off now?
To die
alone in his bed, I am wondering how?
There is nothing
I wouldn't give to have another chance
For
my dear son to live I don't care that he can't dance!
Can
I make a bargain to have back his life?
To have him
here again to be mother as well as wife?
I'll make
any promise. I'll do what you want!
This
life that was his to have back and not haunt?
Haunting my
soul thru daylight and dark.
His body wasnt
whole but it had lifes eternal spark!
Please,
God, Please listen to this mothers pleas!
Tears constantly
glisten and I am down on my knees!
Let me wake
up tomorrow from this awful dream!
To be rid
of this sorrow and eyes that still stream!
I will
meet him in Heaven, if not on this earth,
please
make it work, even tho I didnt give birth!
He was the
light and the glory of life for me here.
Lord
I am sorry, I am living in fear!
When day breaks
tomorrow and I wake from my sleep,
Take away
my sorrow it's much, MUCH too deep!
What
ever I've done Lord, just tell me how,
I can get
back my baby and fill my arms NOW!
They are empty
and aching with the pain of his loss,
My heart
is still breaking but God your the boss.
Please
give me some peace from this heart filled with woe,
The
pain will never cease on this life down below!
You gave me
the love put it deep in my heart.
Why? to push
and shove? Tell me where to start!
If he wasn't
to stay here why put in the love?
To have
children so dear then push them out with a shove?
You've
taken from me the son you had put here,
And left me
here Lord full of pain and fear!
~I
BELIEVE I CAN FLY~
~R KELLY~
