Zombie facts -

1. The living-impaired have the same information processing capacities that we humans have, and, because of this, a similar capacity to form cognitive representations and perhaps even to enter into intentional states.
2. Ninety-five percent of Americans live within two miles of a cemetery or mortuary.
3. Most Americans use and value their brains (The natural food of zombies.)
4. Ninety percent of zombie related fatalities occur in the home.

How to identify a zombie - Spotting a zombie can be a difficult task. Corporate types and most politicians can be easily mistaken for a life-impaired. Caution and common sense are always the rule when a non life-impaired citizen attempts to: a) identify and; b) destroy a zombie. The following is a list of things to look for when the presence of a life-impaired is suspected:

• Disheveled appearance
• Unresponsive to communication
• Pale, clammy or decomposing skin
• No concept of personal boundaries
• Motivation to eat the brains of the living, regardless of your diet. A zombie will make a beeline for your brain.

Where zombies Lurk - Zombies always can be found anyplace where the living-impaired are communally known to frequent. Try to avoid these places:

• Cemetery
• Morgue
• All-night copy stores

Destroying a zombie - Zombies pose a difficult task to destroy since they cannot fell any type of pain. Intimidation of violence or verbal reprimands is not an effective means of self-defense. Swift and decisive action is required of the citizen hopes to escape unscathed. If an encounter with a zombie(s) cannot be avoided, citizens are strongly advised to attempt one or both of the following survival methods:

• Dismemberment
• Incineration