You fall up the stairs.
You bump into somebody nearly everytime you turn a corner.
You try and go down the "up" escalators.
You fall out of your seat and/or can never make your way between the aisles without hitting people with your backpack.
You walk into a door that says "Pull," thinking it will open.
You walk into walls.
Every time you leave the bathroom, a trail of toilet paper is stuck to your heel.
You trip over nothing but your own big feet.
Everytime you go up to the blackboard, you wind up covered in chalk.
Your teachers still think you're "sweet."
When carrying your books from class to class, they get knocked out of your arms at least once.
You walk around all day, unaware that your pants are unzipped.
You press the red button on the escalator, not knowing what it is.
You go into the so-called "soundproof" room and scream profanities about the teacher in the next room.
You hear that your math teacher is out, so you dance around singing, "He's not here! He's not here!"...And then he walks in.
After lunch, you see your crush and grin at him/her, unaware you still have bagel stuck between your two front teeth.
You like your math teacher.
You tell a senior that she's dressed well for Tacky Day... And it's not Tacky Day.
You actually buy the cafeteria "food."
You forget about homeroom, think it's time for your next class, and walk into a seniors' homeroom.
You're making fun of your teacher's new hairstyle, when you discover that she's standing right behind you.
You walk down to the subway, your backpack somehow opens, your books fall out, and a group of juniors passing by laughs at you.
You walk through the hallway, desperately trying to write down the homework from the last class before you get to your next class.
You think that the idea of getting a math tutor is incredibly cool.
Whenever you try to jump onto the gym bleachers, you wind up flat on your face.
You find your underpants in front of the classroom for no apparent reason.
You catch your notebook on fire in science lab.
You pull an all-nighter studying for your Global test... And the next day, you find out it isn't until next week.
Just when you think you've mastered the art of staying in your seat, your notebook falls off your desk. As you lean over to pick it up, you fall over.
Before Gym, you put your stuff at the top of the bleachers. By the end of class, it's under the bleachers.
You're walking down the stairs and staring at your crush, when you trip, fall down the stairs, and nearly break your neck.
You get kicked out of the bathroom by juniors for not smoking.
You get turned on by anything of the opposite sex that moves.
A dirty joke has to be explained to you.
You act like a pothead but you don't even know how to hold a cigarette.
Your most daring sexual act took place during a game of Truth or Dare.
You still need to sleep with your teddy bear.
The seniors treat you about as well as they treat the sports equipment.
You trip every time you wear your baggy jeans and fall on your face.
You have memorized the locker number of every single crush you have, so you can always "bump into them."
When trying to find the concert hall, you wind up in the gym.
You sneak your walkman into class, but get caught when you start singing along with the radio.
Someone asks you if you smoke, so you stupidly say yes (you don't). They hand you a cigarette, and as you light up, you realize you lit the wrong end.
You rely on the hallway clocks.
You ask where your glasses are, when they're actually on top of your head.
You still enjoy quality time with your family.
You're still a dedicated watcher of quality children's programming.
Your vocabulary is often limited to a mere "Like, cool," and a completely moronic, vague "What?..."
Your sophomore friends are more immature than you.
You find out your senior "friend" smokes and think that you can convince him to quit.
Thanks to everybody who helped me put his together. I can't remember all of you, because this was originally written about four years ago... :)
