~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~
I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.
This is a straightforward and dry transcript of the episode “The Prom.”
~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy is napping in Angel's bed. Angel is watching her sleep. He smiles at her as she wakes.
Buffy: (smiles) What? Do I have funny bed hair or something?
Angel: Or something?
Buffy: I guess we got a little carried away with the whole post-slayage nap thing. (feels her hair) Ohhh, not good. (sits up)
Angel: Where you going?
Buffy: To go kill a cat on my head.
Angel: No mirrors.
Buffy: You know, this place really isn't girl-friendly. No mirrors, no natural light.
Angel: I think you look perfect.
Buffy: Oh yeah, I really like... Okay! (lays down) Maybe we should think about getting a few mirrors. And maybe a drawer, you know, for some of my stuff. Because that's what couples do, they have drawers.
Angel: Mmmm, that's right.
Buffy: You know, I-I figure, that way sometimes I could spend the night. Like, after the prom, it would be nice to be able to just come back here and spend some time together.
Angel: The prom?
Buffy: End of high school rite of passage thingy. Think cotillion with spiked punch and electric sleigh.
Angel: Right.
Buffy: Oh, don't worry, it's at night. And lots of girls have older girlfriends. You'll blend.
Angel: I think maybe you should go, hunh?
Buffy: Noo.. must be a few more hours before sunrise.
Buffy gets up and walks to the window. When she pulls back the blackout curtain, it lets in a blast of sunlight directly onto the bed. With an exclamation, Angel rolls out of bed away from the light, apparently unharmed. Buffy pulls the curtains closed suddenly.
Buffy: Ooh, sorry. I guess it's later than we thought.
Angel has a worried look.
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.
~~~~ Commercial Break ~~~~
Daylight outside Sunnydale High. Xander is walking slowly when Anyanka intercepts him and walks beside him.
Anya: Xander!
Xander: Well, hey, it's demon Anya, punisher of evil males. Still haven't got your powers back? (serious) You haven't right?
Anya: No. I will, though. It's just a matter of time.
Xander: So now, how did that work? Women would wish horrible things upon their ex-boyfriends. You'd show up and make it happen.
Anya: That's right. The power of the Wish made me a righteous sword to smite the unfaithful.
Xander: Well, hey! Good luck with that. Hope it works out for you.
Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millenium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why you talking to me?
Anya: (averts her eyes) I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well gosh. I wonder why not. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch?
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Xander: One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.
Anya: You know, this happens to be all your fault.
Xander: My fault?
Anya: You were unfaithful to Cordelia so I took on the guise of a twelfth-grader to tempt her with the Wish. When I lost my powers I got stuck in this persona, and now I have all these feelings. I don't understand it. I don't like it. All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me.
Xander: Be still my heart. Oh wait, it is. How come I got the short straw?
Anya: You're not quite as obnoxious as most of the alpha males around here. Plus I know you don't have a date.
Xander: I haven't settled on anyone yet.
Anya: Fine. Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts.
Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.
Anya: Whatever. Look, do you wanna go with me or not?
Silence. Cut to a picnic table outside the school, still daylight. Oz, Willow, Buffy, and Xander.
Oz: Anya, huh? Interesting choice.
Xander: Choice is kind of a broad term for my situation. See, it's either Anya or the sock puppet of love for this boy. (holds his right hand in puppet shape, speaks in silly voice) I love you, Xander. I'll never leave you.
Willow: Well, if Anya tries to get you killed, put me down for a big 'I told you so.'
Xander: (puppet) Who's this Anya? Is she prettier than me?
Willow: She just better not try to cross me. That's all I'm saying.
Buffy: Well, at least we all have someone to go with now. Some of us are going with demons, but I think that's a valid lifestyle choice. More importantly, I have the kick dress.
Willow: Ooh, the pink one?
Buffy: Angel's gonna lose it. But not his soul. He's gonna lose it. His it.
In Angel's mansion. He picks up one of Buffy's notebooks and sees a doodle, "Angel & Buffy 4 Ever!" There is a knock at the door. He opens it, careful to avoid the sunlight, and lets Joyce inside.
Angel: Mrs. Summers.
Joyce: I'm sorry to, uh... Well, I would have called, but, you know.
Angel: Please, you're always welcome.
Joyce: My goodness, your place is amazing.
Angel: Yeah, I like a lot of space. I don't get out much during the day.
Joyce: No, you wouldn't. (Her gaze pauses on a set of manacles that are fastened to a wall.)
Angel: Can I get you something? I don't have any coffee.
Joyce: Oh, no thank you, I, uh... You don't drink? Beverages, I mean?
Angel: No, I do. It's just the caffeine. It makes me jittery.
Joyce: Oh. I understand Buffy spent the night.
Angel: I'm sorry about that. We came back after patrol.
Joyce: I, I'm not interested in the details. That's not why I'm here.
Angel: Okay.
Joyce: I'm here because I'm worried about you two. In general.
Angel: What happened before, when I changed, it won't happen again.
Joyce: That's not all I'm concerned about. I don't have to tell you that you and Buffy are from different worlds.
Angel: No, you don't.
Joyce: She's had to deal with a lot. Grew up fast. Sometimes even I forget that she's still just a girl.
Angel: I'm old enough to be her ancestor.
Joyce: She's just starting out in life.
Angel: I know. I think about it more now that she's staying in Sunnydale.
Joyce: Good. Because when it comes to you, Angel, she's just like any other young woman in love. You're all she can see of tomorrow. But I think we both know that there are some hard choices ahead. If she can't make them, you're gonna have to. I know you care about her. I just hope you care enough.
In the library. Willow, Oz, Buffy, and Xander.
Buffy: So it was blue and sorta short.
Willow: Not too shore, medium. And it had this weird, sorta fringey stuff on its arms.
Giles: (walking in) What's that, a demon?
Buffy: A prom dress that Will was thinking of getting. Can't you ever get your mind out of the hellmouth?
Giles: I'd be delighted to. However, the day of the Mayor's Ascension is fast approaching and we don't know what to expect.
Xander: Well, what about the pages that Will stole from the Mayor's book? Look, she put her life on the line there, pal. Don't tell me they're useless.
Giles: On the contrary, no, we, uh, we know the Ascension refers to a human transforming into a demon, the living embodiment of an immortal. And Graduation Day, our Mayor Wilkins is scheduled to do just that.
Wesley enters, followed closely by Cordelia.
Wesley: (enters) Trouble is, we don't know which demon he is going to become.
Giles: There are thousands of species.
Wesley: So, it's safe to say we shouldn't waste any time of such trifling matters as a school dance.
Cordelia: Well, that's too bad, because I bet you would look way 007 in a tux.
Wesley: Except, of course, on the actual night, I will be aiding Mr. Giles in his chaperoning duties.
Giles: What? Excuse me? Fine, fine, fine.
Buffy: (to Willow) We'll get you a dress. You know, we should check April Fools.
Cordelia: Don't go there! I shop there.
Xander: I myself am dipping into my road trip fund to procure a shiny new tux, so look for me to dazzle.
Giles: And I myself will be wearing pink taffeta as chenille would not go with my complection. Can we please talk about the Ascension?
Buffy: Giles, we get it. Miles to go before we sleep. But especially if we're all gonna vaporize or something on Graduation Day, we deserve a little prommy fun. One night of glory, not to much to ask.
Daylight. Exterior shot of a dingy suburban house. Inside. A hand loads a videotape into a VCR. Pan to a snarling creature, roughly humanoid, in a wire cage. The creatures struggles are warping the cage sides. One corner has already come loose.
Daylight. Exterior shot of a cathedral. Inside. Angel and Buffy in wedding clothes stand at an altar before a priest.
Priest: Into this holy estate, these two persons present now come to be joined. If any man can show just cause why they should not be lawfully joined together, let him speak now, or else, hereinafter, hold his peace.
The priest's voice fades under the swelling music. The camera pans around the couple until it looks from the priest's viewpoint. Behind them, the chapel is empty. The doors at the back are open, and the sunlight is bright against the interior darkness.
They exchange rings. They kiss. They walk to the exterior doors, hand in hand. The music turns darker. Buffy looks very happy, but Angel looks pensive. As they leave the church, they separate and stand a few feet apart at the top of the steps. Angel squints up at the sky, but does not burst into flame.
Buffy: Angel?
A flame appears on Buffy's exposed skin and rapidly engulfs her. Angel looks on in shock. Buffy burning body crumbles to ashes. Angel wakes up from the nightmare.
~~~~ Commercial Break ~~~~
In a sewer tunnel. Buffy and Angel enter through a manhole in the roof of the tunnel and start walking.
Buffy: I always say patrol's not complete without a trip to the stinky sewers.
Angel: I'm sure I saw him come down here.
Buffy: Couldn't we just let this be the vamp that got away? We could say he was this big. (Holds hands apart, like a fish story.)
Angel: What can I say? I need closure.
Buffy: You need clothes. You don't have a tux, do you?
Angel: Since when did patrolling go black tie?
Buffy: For the prom, silly.
Angel: We have more important things to think about right now than a dance, Buffy.
Buffy: Sorry, Giles. I'll just be quiet.
Angel: Come on, don't be that way.
A vampire drops from the roof, growling.
Buffy: Not now.
Buffy casually stakes the vampire and turns to Angel.
Buffy: I'm not being that way. Every time I say the word 'prom', you get grouchy.
Angel: I'm sorry. I'm just worried that you're getting too... invested in this whole thing.
Buffy: What whole thing? Isn't this the stuff that I'm supposed to get invested in? Going to a formal, graduating, growing up.
Angel: I know.
Buffy: Then what? What's with the dire?
Angel: It's uh, it's nothing.
Buffy: No, you have 'something' face.
Angel: I think we need to talk, but not now and not here.
Buffy: No. No, if you have something to say, then say it. (silence) Angel, drop the cryptic. You're scaring me.
Angel: I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us, you and me being together, is unfair to you.
Buffy: Is this about what the Mayor said? Because he was just trying to shake us up.
Angel: He was right.
Buffy: No. No, he wasn't. He's the bad guy.
Angel: You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you.
Buffy: I don't care about that.
Angel: You will. And children.
Buffy: Children? Can you say jumping the gun? I kill my goldfish.
Angel: Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know it, you'll want it all, a normal life.
Buffy: I'll never have a normal life.
Angel: Right, you'll always be a Slayer. But that's all the more reason why you should have a real relationship instead of this, this freak show. (Buffy is stunned.) I didn't mean that.
Buffy: I'm gonna go.
Angel: (grabs her arm) I'm sorry. Buffy, you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this.
Buffy: Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You think I haven't thought about this?
Angel: Have you, rationally?
Buffy: No. No, of course not. I'm just some swoony little schoolgirl, right?
Angel: I'm trying to do what's right here, okay? I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart.
Buffy: Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating!
Angel: Don't.
Buffy: Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you.
Angel: I don't.
Buffy: You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me.
Angel: It doesn't mean that I don't...
Buffy: How am I supposed to stay away from you?
Angel: I'm leaving. After the Ascension, after it's finished with the Mayor and Faith. If we survive, I'll go.
Buffy: Where?
Angel: I don't know.
Buffy: Is this really happening?
Fade to a cityscape showing the moon hanging in the night sky. Switch to Buffy, alone and miserable. Switch to Angel staring into his fireplace.
Daylight. Exterior shot of the Summers house. In Buffy's bedroom, Buffy and Willow sit cross-legged on the bed.
Willow: So, that's it?
Buffy: That's it. Assuming we survive this Ascension thing, he's gonna leave town.
Willow: Well, he's a fool. He's just a big, dumb, jerk person if you ask me. And he's a super-maxi-jerk for doing it right before the prom.
Buffy: It's not his fault. He's 243 years old. He doesn't exactly get the prom.
Willow: But he should, if...
Buffy: Will, it's okay. You don't have to make him the bad guy.
Willow: But that's the best friend's job, vilifying and grousing.
Buffy: Usually, yeah. But he's right. I mean, I think, maybe in the long run, that he's right.
Willow: Yeah, I think he is. I mean, I tried to hope for the best, but... I'm sorry. It must be horrible.
Buffy: I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now, I'm just trying to keep from dying. (her face contorts in pain)
Willow: Oh Buffy.
Buffy leans over into Willow's lap and starts sobbing.
Buffy: I can't breathe, Will. I feel like I can't breathe.
Exterior shot of the dingy house. Inside, the creature in the cage is struggling violently against its chains. The cage sides bend and finally it escapes. It scrambles out of the room.
April Fools dress shop. Xander is walking on the sidewalk and sees Cordelia inside. He enters. Cordelia is admiring the same dress he saw in the previous episode (Choices).
Xander: Okay, how long does it take you to buy a damn dress?
Cordelia: Xander! I, uh, I'm considering things a little more carefully nowadays. I don't want to get stuck with another dud.
Xander: Well this should work for you. It positively screams nympho.
Salesgirl: Is this a customer or a friend?
Xander: Neither. Just stopped by for my daily helping of bile.
Salesgirl: So you better get back to work and quit goofing. Mrs. Finkel so has it in for you.
Quick shot of the supervisor glancing back at Cordelia.
Xander: You work here?
Cordelia: Yes. Yes, I work here.
Xander: But, uh, why?
Cordelia: I'm trying to buy a dress.
Xander: But don't you already have all the dresses?
Cordelia: I have nothing, okay? No dresses. No cell phone. No car. Everything's been taken away because Daddy made a little mistake on his taxes. For the last twelve years. Satisfied? Are you a happy Xander now? I'm broke. I can't go to any of the colleges that accepted me. And I can't stay home because we no longer have one.
Xander: Uh, wow.
Cordelia: Yeah, neato. Now you can run along and tell all of your friends how Cordy finally got hers. How she has to work part time just to get a lousy prom dress on layaway. And how she has to wear a name tag. Oh, I'm a name tag person. Don't leave that out. The story just wouldn't have the same punch.
The escaped creature from the dingy house bursts through the front window of the shop. Xander pushes Cordelia out of harm's way and attempts to grapple the creature. It pushes him down and jumps on top of him. Then it sees a man wearing a tux and attacks that man, rending and tearing savagely.
In the library. The Scooby Gang (including Wesley) sit around the table watching a surveillance tape of the attack.
Xander: Right there. See, it's, it's like he just realized he forgot to put money in the meter or something.
Cordelia: You know the part that totally weirded me out? That thing had good taste. I mean, he chucks Xander and went right for the formal wear.
Xander: That's right. He left behind his copy of Monsters Wear Daily.
Cordelia: I'm serious. Look at the outfit that Xander's wearing. Now look at the kid that the monster went after. Very smooth lines, 'til he was shredded.
Buffy: I don't want to see it again.
Giles: Buffy, I know it's horrible, but if you're going to hunt this creature, you should study it.
Buffy: Think I got it.
Willow: She's right. I mean, you've seen one big hairy bringer of death, you've seen 'em all.
Wesley: If I'm not mistaken, this is a hellhound.
Giles: Yes. It's particularly vicious. It's sort of a demon foot soldier bred during the Machash Wars. Trained solely to kill. They feed off the brains of their foes.
Cordelia: Look! Right there, zoom in on that.
Xander: It's a videotape.
Cordelia: So? They do it on television all the time.
Xander: Not with a regular VCR they don't.
Wesley: Perhaps we could stay on the topic for once. What were you doing this afternoon?
Cordelia: What? Um, I was...
Xander: Burning a hole in daddy's wallet, as usual. I just bumped into her during my tuxedo hunt.
Oz: What's that? Pause it.
Xander: Guys! It's just a normal VCR. It doesn't... Oh wait, uh, it can do pause.
When the picture is paused, a male teen can be seen peering through the shop's broken window.
Xander: Hello, hellhound raiser.
Cut to a closeup of a class yearbook.
Oz: Tucker Wells. He's in my chem lab.
Wesley: Let me guess. He was quiet, kept to himself, but always seemed like a nice young man.
Oz: He didn't seem the murderous type anyway. Something must have happened to him.
Xander: How's it going over there, Buff?
Buffy: Fine.
Xander: Well, I just wanted to say that your impersonation of an inanimate object is really coming along.
Buffy: Thanks.
Willow: Ooooh! I got into Tucker's e-mail account. Listen to this message Tucker sent to this kid David Metz at school last week. The Sunnydale High lemmings have no idea what awaits them. Their big night will be their last night.
Giles: So, we have a threat against the students on their big night, a hellhound trained to attack people in formal wear...
Cordelia: Oh, are we all catching up now?
Giles: Tucker is planning to attack the prom tonight.
Oz: Once again, the Hellmouth puts the special in special occasion.
Xander: Why do I even buy tickets for these things, I ask you?
Willow: Wonder if I can take my dress back?
Buffy: (wakes up) Don't you dare.
Willow: But Tucker is going to...
Buffy: No! You guys are going to have a prom. The kind of prom that everyone should have. I'm going to give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it.
Xander: Yay?
~~~~ Commercial Break ~~~~
Still in the library.
Buffy: Okay, Wes, why don't you go to Tucker's house. He's probably not there, but it's worth a shot.
Wesley: Alright. Perhaps strength in numbers would be...
Buffy: You can take Cordy.
Wesley: If that's your plan, alright, alright. What about the others?
Buffy: Oz, you said you know this David kid that Tucker e-mailed? Why don't you and Will track him down? See what he knows, if he's involved?
Willow: We're on it.
Buffy: (to Wesley) And you know what? Could you two check the magic shop?
Wesley: Magic shop?
Buffy: Yeah. It's right next to the dress store on Main.
Xander: I can swing that one. What's the mission?
Buffy: See if anyone's been in, buying supplies to raise a hellhound.
Xander: Gotcha. Or check and see who's been stocking up on hellhound snausages. I hear those pups will do anything for a tasty treat.
Buffy: Giles, you said this thing eats brains. Any brains?
Giles: Um, I suppose.
Buffy: Then Tucker must be feeding it, right?
Cut to a meat packing plant. Buffy is walking next to hanging carcasses with a guy in a white coat and a hard hat.
Packer: Yeah, yeah. This kid orders cow brains a couple of times a week. Goes to this address. (hands her a note) Good luck. He's a weird kid.
Buffy: Thanks. Thanks a lot.
The packer walks away. Buffy looks up to see Angel nearby, paying another packer for a plastic bag. He sees her.
Angel: What are you doing here?
Buffy: Hello to you too.
Angel: Sorry. I'm just surprised.
Buffy: Me too. I don't know why though. Where did I think you get your blood, McPlasma's?
Angel: How are you?
Buffy: Right as rain, whatever that means. Don't look at me like that. I can lie to you if I want to now. We're ex, remember?
Angel: If it means anything, I miss you.
Buffy: Could we not, please? When I think about us, I have this tendency to sort of go catatonic. And I really can't afford to do that right now. Gotta stop a crazy from pulling a Carrie at the prom.
Angel: You still planning to go?
Buffy: Strictly in the chaperon capacity. But it's fine. I mean, the... I'm cool with going stag. I'm over the whole Buffy gets one perfect high school moment thing. But I'm certainly not going to let some subhuman ruin it for the rest of the senior class.
Angel: Let me help you.
Buffy: I'm okay.
Angel: If you ever need my help...
Buffy: Look, I got it! (pause) Thanks. (leaves)
In the dress shop. Cordelia is leaving work.
Salesgirl: Hey! Don't forget your dress. Aren't you wearing it tonight?
Cordelia: As much as I hate to admit it, I haven't finished paying for it yet.
Salesgirl: Well somebody did.
Cordelia: What? Who? (looks at the receipt)
Buffy enters the library. Giles is sipping coffee. Xander, Willow, and Oz are sitting on a step and looking glum.
Xander: Zeroes all around, Buff.
Willow: Sorry.
Buffy: Make not with the long faces. I got the address. Now the prom starts in a little while. I want you guys to go on and I'll catch up with you as soon as I put a lid on this jerk.
Xander: What? No way.
Willow: We can't just leave you, Buff.
Giles: Buffy, they're right. You need...
Buffy: To see taillights. Hit the door. I have everything under control.
Oz: Buffy, it makes sense to...
Buffy: Have. A. Nice. Time.
The trio rush off.
Willow: Okay then.
Xander: See ya.
Buffy: (to Giles) I want you at the gym. Keep an eye on them until I get there.
Buffy marches into the book cage and begins loading up her weapons bag.
Giles: I don't have to tell you that you're being rather rash. Finding an address hardly adds up to case closed.
Buffy: Look, it's done. You want to go after them and tell them that they can't go? That all of their planning and dreaming was for nothing? That they can't spend tonight with their honeys, of all nights?
Giles: Angel's not taking you, is he?
Buffy: Angel's leaving me. He's leaving town.
Giles: Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say. Um, I understand that this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind?
Buffy: Ice cream will come. First, I want to take out psycho boy.
Giles: You sure?
Buffy: The great thing about being a Slayer, kicking ass is comfort food.
At the prom. Flashy lights and dancing. Xander and Anya stroll through the crowd.
Anya: So she wished her husband's head would explode, which was great except we were standing three feet from him at the time. What a mess. Of course, you know, during the plague it was always parts falling off. Well, that got old since pretty much they were anyway. The Renaissance, that was... (voice fades as they exit stage right)
Giles and Wesley stand by a table munching hors-d'oeuvres.
Wesley: Well, I must say this is all rather odd to me.
Giles: Oh yes. At an all-male preparatory they didn't go in for this sort of thing.
Wesley: No, of course not. Unless you count the nights you made the lowerclassmen get up as girls and watched them... (stops on Giles's look) Dip is tasty, isn't it?
Cordelia enters in her new dress. Wesley is struck by a coughing. Giles is not facing the door and looks askance.
Wesley: Sauce is hot. (another lingering shot of Cordy) Very hot.
Short montage of prom scenes, dancing, couple photos. Willow and Oz arrive.
Willow: We got in. Maybe we should dance before we get besieged, bedeviled, or beheaded or something.
Oz: It's not gonna happen.
Willow: You're not even a little nervous?
Oz: You think Buffy is going to let us down?
Willow: Want to share some punch?
Oz and Willow walk by. Wesley approaches Cordelia.
Wesley: May I say, you look smashing.
Cordelia: It's a start.
Cordelia takes Wesley's arm. Pan to Xander and Anya. Xander has a glazed look.
Anya: So then this one time, this girl wished her ex would cannibalize himself. Even I had a hard time watching that, let me tell you.
Xander: Cordelia! Wesley! My god in heaven, it's good to see you. How are you both? And details, please.
Wesley: Very well, thank you.
Cordelia: Yes, thank you. (emphasis with eyebrows)
Xander: It looks good on you.
Cordelia: Well, duh.
Xander gives a subtle smile and nod and the couples part.
Giles is chatting with a couple of women at the refreshments, but is keeping an eye on the door, watching for Buffy.
Inside Tucker's house. Buffy sneaks down a staircase and finds Tucker about to release a caged hellhound.
Tucker: You're ready to go.
Buffy: Sorry, new plan.
She throws him away from the cage.
Buffy: The prom's a go and you're pathetic.
Tucker: Maybe. Maybe not.
Tucker breaks a vase over Buffy's head - she brushes the shards off her jacket. He brandishes a screwdriver at her. She sees videotapes on top of the TV with labels like "Prom Night IV" and "Pump Up the Volume".
Buffy: So that's how you did it? That's how you brainwashed the hounds to go psycho on prom?
Tucker: Neat, huh?
Buffy: I don't get it. What kind of sicko wants to destroy the happiest night of a senior's life?
Tucker: I have my reasons.
Quick flashback to more innocent Tucker and a girl.
Tucker: Do you want to go to the prom with me?
Girl: No.
Back to Buffy and Tucker.
Buffy: Whatever. Every maladjust has his reasons. Luckily for me, you're an incompetent maladjust.
Buffy disarms him and ties his hands behind him with an electrical cord. She opens a door and starts to push him through it.
Buffy: Now I'm gonna lock you in here and then I'm gonna party like it's...
In the room are three empty cages before three blank TV sets.
Tucker: Gotta have a redundancy system. Any incompetent knows that. My three fiercest babies are on their way to the dance right now. You think formal wear makes them crazy, wait 'til they see the mirror ball.
~~~~ Commercial Break ~~~~
Night, outside the prom hall. The three hellhounds lope toward the building doors. Buffy drops the trailing hound with a crossbow bolt. The other two turn and chase her. She runs.
Buffy: That's right. Follow Buffy. Good dogs.
They chase her for a few moments, then hear the party music and reverse course.
Buffy: Oh, come on. That song sucks.
She chases them into the building. Cut to a hallway. The hounds are pawing at closed doors. Buffy approaches and they attack her. She wraps one in a hanging tapestry, then wrestles the other one until she can knife it in the chest. The first one escapes the tapestry just as a male student opens the doors into the hall.
Buffy: Get back!
Buffy grabs the hound before it can attack the student, grapples with it, and finally snaps its neck.
Student: (shaken) Bathroom?
Buffy points.
Student: Th-th-tha...
Buffy: You're welcome.
Cut to outside. Buffy drags the hellhounds into the bushes, then pulls her prom dress out of her bag.
At the dance. Buffy enters, Giles sees her, and they exchange nods and smiles. Oz and Willow meet her.
Willow: Buffy, you look awesome.
Buffy: So do you.
Oz: Everything cool?
Buffy: Coolest. Devil dogs are history. How's the prom?
Oz: Strangely affecting. I got all teared up when they played 'We Are Family'.
Willow: Everything's perfect.
Buffy - big smile.
At the prom. Everyone is standing, watching the stage. Xander is miming anticipation.
Announcer: And the award for Sunnydale High's Class Clown for 1999 goes to Jack Mayhew.
The winner puts on a balloon hat and acts silly.
Xander: Please! Anybody can be a prop class clown. You know, none of the people who vote for these things are even funny.
Buffy is at the punch bowl, ignoring the ruckus. The announcer urges Jonathan to the microphone.
Jonathan: We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she, um...
The crowd turns and finds her. She looks nervous at the attention.
Jonathan: This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write-in ballots, and, um, the prom committee asked me to read this. "We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you, but that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here."
Crowd outbursts: Zombies! Hyena people! Snyder! (laughter)
Jonathan: "But, whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you, or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the Class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history." (applause from the crowd) "And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class, offers its thanks, and gives you, uh, this."
Jonathan produces a multicolored, glittering, miniature umbrella with a small metal plaque attached to the shaft.
Jonathan: It's from all of us, and it has written here, "Buffy Summers, Class Protector."
The crowd breaks into sustained applause and cheering. Buffy walks to the stage and takes her award.
Later, Giles is watching the dancing and Wesley approaches him.
Welsey: Mr. Giles. I'd like your opinion. While the last thing I want to do is muddle bad behavior in front of impressionable youth, I wonder if asking Miss Chase to dance would...
Giles: For God's sake, man, she's eighteen. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about. (walks away)
Wesley: Right, then. Thanks for that.
Cut to the dance floor. Wesley and Cordelia begin to dance. Pan to Xander and Anya, dancing close.
Anya: This isn't bad.
Cut to Buffy, watching the dancers. Giles comes up behind her.
Giles: You did good work tonight, Buffy.
Buffy: And I got a little toy surprise.
Giles: I had no idea that children en masse could be gracious.
Buffy: Every now and then, people surprise you.
Giles: (looking past her) Every now and then.
Giles takes her umbrella and leaves. Buffy turns to see Angel at the door. They meet.
Buffy: I never thought you'd come.
Angel: It's a big night. I didn't want to miss it. It's just tonight. It doesn't mean that I...
Buffy: I know. I mean, I understand.
Angel: Dance with me?
They dance.
END Credits.
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