(Spike is captured by Glory)
Spike: "Yeah... but it was fun. And guess what, bitch. I'm not telling you jack. You're never gonna get your sodding key, 'cause you might be strong, but in our world, you're an idiot."
Glory: "I'm a god."
Spike: "The god of what, bad home perms?"
Glory: "Shut up! I command you to shut up!"
Spike: "Yeah, okay, sorry, but I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words, the Slayer... is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim ex-god like you."

Spike: "We like to talk big. Vampires do. 'I'm going to destroy the world.' That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision."

Spike: "That's right! I'm back, and I'm a bloody animal!"

Spike (To Buffy): "Dru bagged a slayer? She never told me. Good for her! Though not from your perspective, I suppose."

Spike: "I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil."
Dawn: "Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm not evil but I don't think I can be good."
Spike: "Well, I'm not good and I'm okay."

Buffy: "Spike, what are you doing here? Five words or less."
Spike: "Out. For. A. Walk... Bitch."

Spike: "Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land."

Spike: "Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye all warm where nothing can eat you?"
Dawn: "Is that supposed to scare me?"
Spike: "Little tremble wouldn't hurt."
Dawn: "Sorry, it's just that, I'm badder than you."
Spike: "Are not!"
Dawn: "Am too, you're standing in the bushes hugging a bent box of chocolates, and I'm..."
Spike: "What? Sneaking out to braid hair and watch Teletubbies with your mates?"

Spike: "Oh, you're just friends right? You'll never be friends! You'll be in love till it kills you. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quake, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

(Ghost Indian transforms into a large bear while fighting Buffy)
Spike: "A bear! You made a bear!"
Buffy: "I didn't mean to."
Spike: "Undo it! Undo it!"

(Found somewhere on the Web)

The exact cause of Spikeholism (SH) is not known. Currently, it is believed that SH may be caused by a combination of multiple factors, including genetic (vampirism), biological (hormones), and environmental (as a result of constant influence of Joss Whedon) factors.

SH affects males and females (3F to -1M ratio), young and old, all races and ethnic groups, and people from all socioeconomic backgrounds. The severity of symptoms varies among people who, in majority, addicted to BTVS. According to the latest statistics, more than 2.5 billion people in the United States (about 60% of overall BTVS fans) have being affected.

The infection is considered contagious: It can spread from person to person with symptoms usually appear within 2 to 4 days. Isolating people with SH symptoms is not an effective means of control because it can be spread by someone whose symptoms are not yet apparent, or occur without any involvement of the third party (usually as a result of watching FOX reruns of BTVS and new season on UPN simultaneously).

The original list consisted of 13 symptoms, whereas 10 and more were enough to consider a person to be ill.

Among the most common symptoms (in order of severity):

• You start taping every episode of BTVS, but skipping BTVS tapes to the parts that have Spike present.
• You have Spike Wallpaper, and care less of what your co-workers think about it
• You find "bad boys" on motorcycle to be surprisingly attractive.
• You know that Spike’s eyes are blue, but change color under different lighting.
• You know Spike’s age, height, his waist size and other common parameters.
• You know that Spike is left-handed, and are familiar with his typical first move in any fight...
• You start thinking that William would be a perfect name for a little boy, whereas Spike would be a perfect name for your little dog (and vice versa).
• You know what acronyms JM, Spuffy, and BHOR stand for.
• Considering Spike’s clothing, you prefer "less-better".
• You have the "tongue pictures" hidden in an encrypted separate folder on all of the computers you have access to.
• You spend your weekends making tapes of all the Spike episodes, edited to Spike scenes and the occasional scenes where Buffy beats up Angel.
• Seeing Buffy with Riley in older episodes makes your physically sick (this symptom can occur unrelated to the SA)
• You change your position toward public smoking (who the hell cares!)
• You’re using expression like "Bloody Hell", "Pet", and "Shagging" in your daily lexicon
• You wonder how dark haired vampires ever made it onto the big screen in the first place...
• You ask your boyfriend to consider changing his hair color
• You’re suddenly finding Adam's Apples, nostrils, underarms, and "scarred eyebrow" incredibly sexy, and wondering how washboard abs really feel.
• You use the word "cheekbones" in context with JM/Spike only.
• When people say they don't like Spike, you don't believe them.
• You realize that whilst hot, Spuffy (S6 version) was not good for them, and sick more romantic involvement between the characters.
• You don’t care if Spike is "good" or "evil", or whom Spike ends up with anymore, "as long as it makes him happy".
• You truly believe that you’re the one who can make Spike really happy.
• You read Spike fanfiction NC-17 (including m/m slash and animal)... eagerly.
• You become jealous anytime another poster points out something about Blondie Bear that you didn't notice...
• You have planted a tree near front door to encourage lurking!
• You re-watch the Spike scenes so much that the videotapes are starting to get damaged
• You dream moderately incessantly about Spike.
• You want to be a sock, a door and other objects Spike/JM had direct contact with.
• Seeing crosses makes you think of Bleach Blond Punk Vampires hanging from them.
• You throw food or various other small items at your television screen every time Buffy beats up Spike or treats him in a manner you find unacceptable...
• You have injured yourself during a BtVS induced happy dance.
• You believe there is God on TV, and his name is Joss.
• You are fully aware and proud of your condition. Meanwhile, you don’t want any cure or relieve of your symptoms.

Although Spike is a culturally accepted character, if abused, can become very problematic to you and those around you. These problems can involve impairment of your relationships and the way you perform at work, school, or home.
While there is no known cure for SH, treatment can control the symptoms. Certain medications, such as massive therapy at supportive organization such as Cross & Stake Spoiler Board, Fan Forum, and varieties of fan fictions better than other treatments and often are all that is needed to treat the condition.

What Spikeholics consider being the perfect finale for BTVS (in order of popularity):

• Spike goes back with Dru.
• Spike vamps Xander and they "live" happily ever after (slash warning)
• Spike goes to L.A. and couples with Angel (slash warning)
• Spike becomes a watched
• Spike dies and becomes human
• Spike kills Dawn (just to make people happy)
• Spike goes evil and kills Buffy (saying: you were asking for this, little #%$!...)
• Spike goes evil and kills everyone
• Spike dies to save Buffy
• Buffy dies to save Spike
• Spike get redeemed
• Buffy falls in love with Spike and they live happily ever after

SH complications (which can either accompany or follow the illness) include related disorder of Jmholism.

Among the symptoms:

• You’re pending of every head-tilt JM does
• You know the name of JM's cat and his favorite colour (JM’s, not cat’s)
• You actually know that his cat died
• Shakespeare becomes your favorite author.
• You mentally recasting any given film, TV show, play or novel with JM as the lead and invariably finding his performance much better.
• Working out the exact details of JM's Emmy and Oscar acceptance speeches
• Capable of killing anyone who suggests that JM is a little "gay-looking".