I accept your challenge part three

or

Sacks of Evolved Eevee Fun!

This, boys and girls, is what we call a "filler chapter." So, Zelda won't be wrapping this thing up for quite sometime!(Zelda might need another challenge just for an ending idea! ^_~ J/k, Zelda doesn't need anymore challenges...she's already backordered on challenges, requests, web page updates, and autographs)

"So..." said Brock, looking down at Meowtle. "What does it do?"

Ash took out his trusty pokedex. "Dexter will tell me!" he said, despite the fact that my Pokedex has yet to tell me anything useful about the pokemon I catch.

"Meowtle's attacks are," Dexter said, "Tackle, tail whip, bubble and water gun."

"That's weird," said Ash. "It doesn't seem to have any of Meowth's attacks..."

"Isn't it weirder that a level 5 pokemon already knows four attacks?" asked Misty.

"Actually, I think a better question would be, how did it learn to speak?" asked Brock. "Because we all know that Meowth's speech is an acquired trait, and Darwin's theory says that it's--"

"Who cares about Darwin?" screamed Misty. "It's bad enough the Religious Right is already convinced that Pikachu is Satan!"

"Pikachu?" asked Pikachu, doing his best to look innocent.

Ash, meanwhile, was looking thoughtfully at Meowtle. It doesn't make any sense, Ash thought. Meowtle has to have inherited *something* from his father... "Meowtle, water gun attack!" Ash shouted, pointing towards Pikachu.

"No," said Meowtle.

"But...I'm your trainer..."

Meowtle gave Ash the finger. "I don't wike you. You're mean to my daddy and to Aunt Jethe and Aunt Jameth." Meowtle's confusion on the subject of James was due partly to the fact that being level 5 he had no idea what a "crossdresser" was and also because the narrator has like the term "Aunt [man's name]" ever since she saw it in Mrs. Doubtfire. Misty and Brock opened their mouths and were about to say something, but then looked at each other and shrugged.

"Close enough," said Misty.

"Meowtle, if you don't water gun Pikachu, I'm going to--aughhh!!" Ash suddenly found several thousand volts of electricity rippling through his body. He collapsed on the ground. "I'm going to tell your mother..."

"You're mean," Meowtle announced, then water gunned Ash. Coins scattered everywhere.

"Huh?" asked Misty and Brock.

"Chu?" asked Pikachu.

"It looks like Meowtle inherited something from Meowth after all," said Brock. "I think all of Meowtle's moves must have pay day built into them...which means that when I'm a pokemon breeder, I'm breeding nothing but Meowth hybrids!"

Ash stared at his new pokemon. Then he hugged Meowtle tightly and shouted, "I love you!"

Meowtle punched him. "Don't touch me, you perv!"

***

"Meowth, have you been listening?" asked Jesse.

"Jesse, do you have any idea what it's like to lose a child?" Meowth asked, his eyes wobbly.

"Meowth, you have to look on the bright side...no alimony, we see those stupid brats everyday--"

"You don't have to take responsibility for your actions," James added.

Jesse glared at him. "What are you saying?" she asked.

"Uhm...nothing...this is one of your best plans ever, Jesse!"

Jesse whacked him with a frying pan. "Don't give me that crap! It's exactly the same as all of our other plans!"

"Yes, but it's...uhm...better!"

Meowth sighed. "Jesse, I'm trying to reach the maternal instinct that's buried somewhere under all that mega-bitchness..." he thought about this and the fact that Jesse had just hit someone with a frying pan. "Well, in theory...but how would you feel if da father of your freak of nature got custody?" Jesse shrugged. Meowth then realized what a horrible example it was, because Jesse essentially lived with the most likely father of her potential freaks of nature.

"Why? Is there something between you two that I don't know about?" asked James.

"I don't know what you mean," Jesse said quickly.

"No, not at all," Meowth said just as quickly. "Boy, dat really was a great plan."

"An excellent plan," added Jesse.

"Da mother of all plans!"

James found himself suddenly cursed with being observant. "Oh god," he said burying his face in his hands. "Why? And I want the non-bestiality answer!"

"I think we should just stop talking and go do our great plan," said Jesse.

"Because Jesse's a slut," said Meowth. "It's time we all admitted that she's a slut. From what I've been able to pick up, she's slept with you, da Boss, Mondo--"

"Mondo?" exclaimed James.

"Butch, Cassidy, Butch *and* Cassidy, and me. But to be fair," Meowth continued, "James has slept with almost exactly the same line-up of people..."

Sweatdropping like there was no tomorrow, Jesse and James both muttered, "I hate you so much..."

Later...Team Rocket was walking confindantly towards Arby's, sack of disgruntled eevee evolutions slung over their shoulders. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Jesse.

"We can just get our food to go and leave before anything goes wrong," James assured her.

"Unless, of course, you decide to sleep with our cashier," they both said in unison.

"Because something has to go wrong," said Jesse.

"Because we've gone all day without running into those pests," said James.

Meowth sniffled, then began crying uncontrollably. This obviously bothered his sack full of miffed jolteons.

"Jol! Teee!" they growled.

"Shut yer filthy mouths!" Meowth snapped. "I'm suffering from a parent's greatest loss!"

"Having to bail your kid out of jail?" asked Jesse.

"No, thankfully my kids are nothing like you two," said Meowth. His eyes narrowed, focusing in on James. "I want you to stay away from my little Meowtle."

"What about her?" James asked.

"I'd rather my son was a violent, bitchy slut than a crossdressing wuss."

James sighed. "That's what my parents said too..."

They entered the Arby's and naturally found Ash and his friends sitting in a booth. Togepi was seated on the table, hopping menacingly towards the curly fries. "Misty, take Togepi off the table! It's probably filthy!" Ash snapped.

"Togepi is much cleaner than you are, Ash Ketchum!" Misty replied.

Pikachu, annoyed by Togepi's bouncing antics, backhanded the tiny egg into the napkin dispenser. "Piiikaaa!" he laughed.

"Pikachu!" Misty shouted. "Say you're sorry!"

"Pika-pii..."("But I don't wanna...")

Team Rocket, meanwhile, was standing in the doorway, staring at Ash with a look of fear. "I say we just chuck our angry eevee evolutions at him," said Jesse. "We're going to end up losing them anyway..."

"And it's only a matter of time before they fire spin, hydro pump, and thundershock us into oblivion," said James.

"Pikachu thayth he doethn't wanna," Meowtle translated.

"No, we can't," said Meowth. "Meowtle's half a water pokemon! We can't throw jolteons at him!" Jesse and James rolled their eyes. "We have to rescue him!"

Jesse sighed and looked at nothing in particular. "If you check out our webpage, you'll notice we have a new page of reasons why Meowth is starting to annoy us," she said.

James nodded, also looking at nothing in particular. "The garden hose is mentioned three times...but we're thinking of giving it a fourth place."

"Irrational love of egg based creatures is the only thing we've mentioned four times," Jesse added.

"We could mention it a fifth time..."

"Stop dat!" screeched Meowth. "And help me think of a plan to get Meowtle back!"

"Meowth obviously needs a plan as good as ours," Jesse said, continuing to speak to no one in particular.

"What we did was dig a tunnel into the Eevee Lover's Convetion," James continued.

"Then we disguised ourselves as evolution stone vendors."

"After we sold several hundred dollars worth of fake stones,"

"We grabbed all the flareons, jolteons, and vaporeons we could!" They both started laughing.

"Watch dese for me," said Meowth. "I have to make a phone call..."

***

"Hello?"

"Uhm...is dis Zelda?"

Zelda sighed. "What is it?"

"Are you busy?"

Zelda was currently seated in front of her laptop, playing Sex Tetris while she averaged a sentence per hour in Word '97. She was also leaning against Shylock, who was asleep again. "Yes."

"Well...Jesse and James are breaking da fourth wall like crazy and so I was..."

Zelda buried her face in her hands. "So...you called me...to complain about fourth wall breaking? Baka! What were you thinking, you tete du merde baka?!"

"Uhm...I thought maybe...I don't know!" Meowth was started to feel very worried. It was never a good sign when that little nutcase started swearing in foreign languages. "Can't you at least appreciate the irony?"

"Irony? It's not irony, it's crap, you stupid--"

Meowth winced as a stream of loosely connected swear words ending in the word "whore" were hurled at him. "Aren't you supposed to be in Rock Tunnel?"

"I pulled a cell phone, a laptop, and an internet connection out of thin air. Now get your butt back to Jesse, James, and the sacks of disgruntled eevee evolutions before..." Zelda thought for a moment. "The vaporeons use hydro jet, Jesse and James get completely drenched, et cetera, et cetera."

"Why would dat happen? Dose vaporeons just evolved! And how did you know we had--"

Zelda hung up her cell phone. "Oh, too late, it happened."

Shylock rolled his eyes. Baka, he thought.

***

Meowth arrived to find a very damp, twitching bag full of growling vaporeons, Jesse and James completely drenched from hydro jet and very happily "et cetering." "Stop dat!" Meowth shouted. He kicked the jolteon sack. That was the straw that broke the jolteon's back, causing the enclosed pokemon to thundershock the entire Arby's.

"W-what was that?" asked Misty.

"Uhhhhgghhnnn," groaned Ash.

"Pika-pika!" screamed Pikachu, so angry that anyone had dared thundershock his humans that he decided to use thunder on Ash as punishment.

"Augghh!!"

"Hmmm..." said Brock. "This is sort of like that Wendy's Super Bar that exploded awhile ago...maybe we should check this out!"

"But that was caused by six flareons," said Misty. "Flareons don't know thundershock!"