"I am not having meaningless sex with you to save a partnership we don't even have!" James screamed. "And we do not make a cute couple!"

Clay rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, James. It's not like we're connecting on any other level. Now let's go screw."

James' eyes narrowed as Mondo subtly moved so that he was sort of standing in front of Jesse but not really. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing..." said Mondo.

"You can't use that move! I invented that move!"

Clay's eyes widened. "That's...that's a move?" he said, his voice reaching shriek proportions. "Allison does that all the...oh my god!"

Meanwhile, in another section of alterna-world, three people were on a pokemon journey. Actually, they were lost. "How can we be lost again?" Misty screamed. "I thought we were done being lost! I'm sick of Blair Witching it!"

Ash and Brock both sighed. Eevee just looked oddly frightened. He was, of course, Professor Oak's other other reserve pokemon in case there were four kids who wanted to be pokemon trainers that year. Also, despite the fact that this has little to do with the story at hand, Eevee had refused a water stone, a fire stone, a thunder stone, a leaf stone, and a moon stone, even though everyone knows eevees don't evolve with the last two. Or at least that's what everyone assumed..."Misty, we're lost because..." Ash thought for a moment. "Uhm, well, I lost the Pokemon League, so right now we're..."

"Guys, can't we just be lost in a generic, nondescript part of our pokemon journey?" asked Brock, trying to distract his friends from the fact that the author hadn't really thought through the activities of alterna-world Ash and friends.

"No," snapped Misty. "I want to vent."

"Misty, how can it be venting if you scream almost all the time?" asked Ash.

Misty didn't have an answer for that one. "There's no one else to be a volatile bitch," she replied.

Meanwhile, from behind some bushes...Cassidy glared at the empty space where her partner was supposed to be. "Might as well," she muttered, pushing the button of their latest secret weapon. This sent an electromagnetic pulse out over the area, the kind of pulse that was designed to throw pokeballs completely out of whack.

"What the..." said Ash as his pokeballs all opened simultaneously.

"This is weird," said Brock as his did the same.

"I hate being lost!" screamed Misty.

While most of the pokemon stared in confusion as they noticed that the instruments of their slavery were now completely useless, an evil light came into Psyduck's eyes. Soon, the wretch siren with the bad hair would pay for what she had done. "Hey, what's wrong with Psyduck?" asked Ash. All three trainers stared in confusion as Psyduck's eyes began to glow blue with psychic energy.

A bike suddenly appeared. "Psyduck duck?" asked Psyduck.("You want a new bike?") The bike then began zooming with a quite painful velocity towards Misty's head. "Psy-yi-yi!!"("Here's your stinkin' bike!!")

Back behind those bushes, Cassidy had problems of her own. The Ekans she had gotten for her birthday, which due to a lack of both loyalty and begging and a breeding center secret was still an Ekans, had wandered off in search of some delicious young rattatas, especially those of the "pinkie" or "fuzzy" variety. "Get back here," Cassidy hissed. She then resorted to hitting the pokeball in the hopes that it would work. When that didn't work, she happened to look up and see Charizard standing over her.

What Charizard wanted wasn't revenge. It wanted a nap. And Cassidy happened to be standing in a very good napping place. He would have just crushed her, but her hair looked potentially painful. So, he fire blasted her in the hopes that if she didn't move, she would would at least be a decent meal.

Cassidy chose to run away screaming. Where is that idiot James?! she thought.

That idiot James was currently glaring at Mondo. "How do I know this will be to my advantage?" Jesse asked. "I'm a very important gym leader."

Clay rolled his eyes. "Please. I've never even heard of the Sunny Town Gym," he said. "Of course, that could be because I'm from an alternative future where...actually, I don't know anymore..." He looked at James. "Most recently some idiot let my partner turn into a Nurse Joy! And before that, the same idiot gave her the freaking hybrid assignment!"

"The what?" asked James.

"The hyrbid assignment! We'd be looking for stinking hybrids right now if one of us still existed!" Clay took a deep breath. "Not that I mind. I mean, it was a better idea than sterilizing us and then killing us. But I think that was just an idle threat..."

"And you work for Team Rocket?" asked Jesse.

Clay nodded. "And you eventually give me and Al both the hybrid assignment and threaten to sterilize and kill us!"

"Why would I want to kill her?" asked Jesse. "She doesn't even exist..."

"She's even more annoying than he is," said James. "And not much better looking."

"I knew you were gay!" Clay exclaimed triumphantly.

"No I'm not!"

"If you have an opinion on which one of us looks better, then you have to find me at least mildly attractive, so lets go have sex. Lots of it." Clay grinned at him. "Before you find the flaws in this logic."

James looked at Jesse, who was still too close to Mondo for his comfort. And Mondo's well being if he didn't move in the next three minutes. "I'm not gay," he said. Mondo snorted, reducing his time on this earth to the next one and a half minutes.