"TALES FROM THE ASHES ARCHIVES"

Volume One...Issue 9...November 1, 2000

Published by "The Wizard of Odd"

THE BUCK STOPS HERE!-

(-All items are the sole property of Wayne Brown. Use of my properties without my express written consent, is against the law-)

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POETRY..... GAMES..… SPONSORS..... COPYRIGHT INDICIA

"THE TWO-LEGGED KIND"

by Wayne Brown August 1979

Cindy McClusky, a young and pretty, red-haired housewife, shook the dishwater from her shriveled hands, and reached for the towel. The dinner had been a total disappointment. She had spent the better part of her afternoon, preparing the Lasagna as a peace offering to her husband. Their marriage lately, had been missing something, and the argument the night before had brought their mutual hostilities out into the open.

She knew George was having an affair, and when he came home after 11:00 PM, she had finally had enough. After nearly an hour of screaming and yelling, she had finally run to the bedroom and locked herself in, crying hysterically. He had slept in his clothes on the couch, and by the time she awoke, he had already left, presumably for work. During her breakfast, she had given the matter a lot of thought. She decided that she was to blame and therefore she planned to make it up to him. After all, he was her husband and she did love him.

Baked Lasagna had always been his favorite entrée and she thought that she might win points with him, if she were to prepare the complicated meal. George would frequently remind her of her inadequacies in the kitchen. The meal preparation had gone reasonably well, and she felt confidant that he would be pleased. However, from the time he first arrived and throughout the dinner, he had been in a quiet and sullen mood. He said nothing about the meal, threw his knife and fork into the stainless steel sink, and retired to the living room immediately after eating. She progressed to clean the dishes, wiping tears along with tomato sauce and cheese.

George sat quietly in his favorite chair, a brown naughahyde recliner, and read the sports section of the daily newspaper, while drawing long and deep on his filtered cigarettes.

"George?" She knelt beside his chair, leaning against the armrest.

"Yeah...?" His eyes did not leave the paper.

"I...I'm sorry about last night." She stared up at him, her eyes begging for a glimmer of compassion.

"Hmmph! You should be..." He exhaled toward her, then gave her a leer.

"I don't know what got into me. I...I just blew up. I'm sorry." She bowed her head in supplication, even as her tear ducts began to well.

"Yeah?...Well, don't let it happen again!" His eyes returned to the football scores. What little passion sparked in George was wasted on the inanities of professional sports.

"George...?" She looked up at him with pleading, watery eyes.

"Yeah?! WHAT DO YA WANT NOW!?!" Irritated, he leered at her again. This time exhaling a puff of smoke directly into her pining face.

"I love you..." She whimpered like a puppy, and turned her head away from the noxious smoke.

"Yeah! I'll bet! That's a good one!" He returned again to the paper with a sarcastic chuckle.

Silence reigned for a moment as she pondered her futility. Suddenly, a new idea gave her strength and hope.

"George...I thought, maybe...we could do something this weekend...together, I mean!"

"Can't. I'm goin' deer huntin'." He mumbled as he rustled the turning page.

"Well...How about taking me with you?" She asked foolishly against hope, knowing his answer, even as the words danced off her lips.

"ARE YOU KIDDING!?!" He set the paper down and stared at her incredulously, shaking his head from side to side.

"NO! I'M NOT KIDDING! What's wrong with that?" She was becoming angry and a false bravado had enjoined her mounting frustration.

George looked at her in disbelief. Suddenly, he smiled pensively and took another long drag from his cigarette.

"You know... Now that you mention it... That's not such a bad idea." He stubbed the cigarette repeatedly with slow deliberation.

Cindy was so startled by his reply, and so pleased with his condescension, that she didn't allow George's wry, sardonic grin to register within her.

For the next three days, peace and happiness seemed to flourish in the McClusky household. George was a perfectly angelic husband. He stayed home each night, and even brought his wife a dozen, long-stemmed, yellow roses. She was dumbfounded when he gave her the flowers, along with a deep, passionate kiss. He hadn't kissed her like that in over a year.

Cindy prepared for the upcoming weekend. The idea of shooting deer had not particularly appealed to her, but saving her marriage would be worth almost anything. She loved her husband ever so much, and it seemed like things were finally taking a turn for the better.

She took special care in her preparations, hoping to impress him with her sincerity and efficiency. She carefully folded and packed the camping gear, though staying at her father-in-law's cabin made real survival gear unnecessary. By Friday afternoon, all was in readiness and they hurriedly packed the station wagon after George came home from work.

They headed north toward the nearest peaks of the Adirondack Mountains. They stopped in Lake George after a few hours of driving and ate a hearty meal. After a hearty repast and a couple of games of "Nine Ball", they finished their cocktails, and hit the road again. Cindy felt she was on top of the world. They arrived at the lodge around 10:30 PM.

Although it was already well past dark, they still had to unpack the car in order to make ready their accommodations. George built a roaring fire and Cindy laid out their sleeping bags. Once settled, they sat near the blazing flames and drank brandy from a bottle that George had stashed there once before.

"George?"

"Yes, my love?" He looked at her tenderly.

"I...I just want to thank you for bringing me with you." She let a smile come 'cross her lips.

"My pleasure, darlin'. I think we both needed somethin' like this." He smiled back into her loving eyes.

"Make love to me, George." She had lain back onto the double-zippered sleeping bags.

George came away from the fire and laid down with his wife. He put his arms around her and kissed her passionately. She wrapped herself around him and pulled him down into her. They made love long and hard that night.

They awoke to the tickling of the sun's rays, and the mild, sweet melody of a deep woods songbird. The pungent aroma of pine logs now spent, gave depth to the morning air. George kissed her as he rose naked from the sleeping bags. He dressed quickly and rekindled the fire while Cindy, likewise arose and dressed, her eyes cast lovingly upon her husband's hefty frame.

An hour or so later, after Cindy had prepared their modest breakfast of instant oatmeal and "camp coffee", she and George readied themselves for the day's trek. They were both dressed and ready to leave, when Cindy noticed that George had brought only one rifle.

"George, Honey...?" She looked at him quizzically.

"Yeah, Babe?" He smiled back at her.

"Why did you bring just the one gun?" She puzzled as she watched him loading the shot gun shells into the double barrels.

"Why?...Well, we only need one gun on this kind of hunt." He slammed the action shut on the shotgun.

"What do you mean...this kind of hunt? I thought we were going to hunt deer?" A chill crept over the nape of her neck.

"I AM MY DARLING! ONLY,... I'M HUNTING THE TWO-LEGGED KIND TODAY!" A vicious, sardonic grin crept across his face.

"Whaaa...?!?!" She stared at him in disbelief.

"You were right, dear. Our marriage is in trouble. Something has to be done, and I'm goin' to take care of everythin' once and for all!"

George leveled the shotgun, and pointed both barrels toward her. She screamed and stumbled for the cabin door.

"START RUNNING, DEAR!!!" George roared with maniacal laughter as he cocked the shotgun and began the chase...

-The End-

(I have made some minor grammatical changes to the original MS. -Wayne Brown)