AN ODE TO TWO GAEL DUDES
GERALD AND
EDWARD
NONE OF US WANTS YOU
IN A VERY
SELECT CLUB
WHOSE MEMBERS ARE FEW
IT ONCE
WAS A PRIVILEDGE
TO BE
IN THIS CLUB
THAT'S NO
LONGER TRUE
BECAUSE OF THIS FLUB
HALL OF
FOAMS A GREAT HONOR
THAT MUCH IS TRUE
IT'S REPUTATIONS NOW TARNISHED
BECAUSE OF YOU TWO
CANIVERS
AND CHEATERS
AGAIN AND AGAIN
YOU SCREW
THE POOR BEARS
WHEN EVER YOU CAN
ON SUPER
BAG SUNDAY
AS THE SUNS RISING HIGH
YOU KNEW
THE POOR BEARS
WOULD BE ON THE FLY
DOWN TO
THE FAR FIELD
TO BAKE IN THE SUN
50 SUN BLOCK WON'T DO IT
THEY'LL NEED 51
AS THEY
SAT UNDER THE PINE TREES
IN THE NICE COOL SHADE
GINGE
TURNED TO SKIP AND SAID
WE'VE GOT IT MADE
THOSE
BASTARDS ARE BURNING,
NOTHINGS BETTER THAN THIS
THAT KEG
HAS NO ICE,
THE BEERS WARMER THAN PISS
SKIP AND
GINGE,
GRANELLI AND AHNEMANN
COULD THE
HALL SPEAK IT WOULD SAY
WE DON'T WANT EM IN
THE SUPER
BAG'S FORMAT
IS ETCHED FIRMLY IN STONE
BUT
SOMEHOW EACH YEAR
THE POOR BEARS GOT THE BONE
LET'S GO
BACK A FEW YEARS,
LET'S TURN BACK THE CLOCK
THIS ONE'S
SO BAD
THE POOR BEARS WERE IN SHOCK
THE YOUNG
MEN WERE FIRST UP,
NEVER A MATCH
THEY JUST
COULDN'T HIT
AND THEY SURE COULDN'T CATCH
ARTIE AND
KRINGLE
DID
THE BEST THAT THEY COULD
THE POOR
BEARS KICKED THEIR ASSES,
YOU KNEW THAT THEY
WOULD
THE GAELS
WERE UP NEXT
AND THOSE PUSSIES
WERE SCARED
THEY WERE
ALWAYS AFRAID
OF THE POOR
BREWSTER BEARS
BEARS
CIRCLED THE BASES,
JUST LIKE RUNNING LAPS
THE GAELS
HAD TO FACE IT,
THEY WERE GETTING BITCH SLAPPED
THE OLD
MEN HAD WATCHED,
WATCHED FROM THEIR CHAIRS
THEY
WANTED NO PART
OF THE POOR BREWSTER BEARS
WE AIN'T
GONNA PLAY EM,
WE GOTTA COME CLEAN
THESE
FREAKIN' GUYS
ARE A SOFTBALL MACHINE
AND SO
THERE YOU HAVE IT,
POOR BEARS THREE AND OH
ONCE AGIN
IN THE FINALS
TO PUT ON A SHOW
FROM OUT
OF THE SHADOWS
SLITHERED GINGE AND SKIP
SLY SMILES
ON THEIR FACES,
BEER FOAM ON THEIR LIPS
YOU POOR
BEARS DESERVE IT,
YOU TRULY PLAYED GREAT
BUT YOU
CAN'T PLAY IN THE FINALS
BECAUSE YOU WERE LATE
SO THESE
ARE THE TWO
THAT YOU WANT IN THE HALL
NO TWO
BIGGER CHEATERS
EVER PLAYED IN BREW BALL
WE MUST
RECONSIDER,
THIS ACT IS A SHAM
IT WILL
LEAVE A BAD TASTE,
LIKE A BIG CHUNK OF SPAM
TO SCREW
THE POOR BEARS
THEY'VE DONE ALL THAT THEY COULD
NO ALUMINUM
BATS,
THEY MADE EM USE WOOD
THESE TWO
ARE LIKE SCUM
THAT SITS ON SMALL PONDS
THE HALL
OF FOAM FOR THEM,
WHO'S
NEXT BARRY BONDS
AND AS FOR
YOU SKIPAH
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE
DEEP DOWN
INSIDE
YOU LOVE ALL THINGS BEAR
BECOMING A
BEAR SKIP
WON'T HAPPEN FOR YOU
THE CLOSEST
YOU'LL GET
IS BEAR SISTER LU
OK NOW
GRANELLI
SPOTLIGHTS ON YOUR FACE
YOU'LL NOW
BE EXPOSED
FOR YEARS OF DISGRACE
FOR FAR
TWO MANY YEARS TO COUNT
YOU CHOSE TO DIS THE BEARS
WELL TODAY
YOU FIND OUT
WE WERE ALWAYS AWARE
YOU THINK
THAT WE ARE STUPID,
WE'
LL FORGET YOU WERE NAUGHTY
WE WENT TO
SCHOOL AND GRADUATED,
SOME OF US CUM LAUDE
WE DONE
HIRED US A PRIVATE EYE
TO FOLLOW YOU AROUND
AND WE'RE
NOT SURPRISED AT ALL
AT
THE THINGS THAT THIS MAN FOUND
IT SEEMS
YOU HAD A PLAN FOR US,
A
LAST DIRTY TRICK TO PLAY
BUT THE
POOR BEARS HAVE NEWS FOR YOU
ON
THIS INDUCTION DAY
AND NOW
IT'S TIME TO SHARE THAT NEWS,
WITH ALL THOSE IN ATTENDANCE
TODAYS THE
DAY
THE BREWSTER BEARS DECLARE THEIR
THIRD
SUNDAY IN AUGUST
THE DAY WE ALWAYS PLAY
BUT NOW
YOU HAD A SECRET PLAN
TO KEEP THE POOR BEARS AWAY
THE SECOND
WEEK IN AUGUST
WOULD
NOW REPLACE THE THIRD
BUT IT
WON'T WORK CAUSE WE FOUND OUT
YOU NO GOOD SMELLY TURD
WE'RE SORRY IT HAD TO BE THIS WAY,
THE TWO OF YOU EXPOSED
BE WE GREW
TIRED LONG AGO
OF ALWAYS GETTING HOSED
THOSE OF
US NOW IN THE HALL
THE SACRED HALL OF FOAM
HOPE THAT
YOU TWO RUN OUT
OF GAS
TONIGHT ON YOUR WAY HOME
AND NOW
IT'S TIME TO DO THE THINGS
THIS DAY IS ALL ABOUT
BUT IF YOU
TWO GET IN THE HALL
THE REST OF US WANT OUT.
SO THERE
NOW YOU'VE HEARD THEM
HEARD
ALL THE TALES
VOTE NO ON
YOUR BALLOT
FOR
THESE SEMEN BREATHED GAELS
