Rules To Live By

I'm sure you've heard most of them. Ya know, "Walk left, stand right", "Don't spit over the side", stuff like that. Naturally, as most do, you pick on your own little rules to live by. You follow these and they shape how you'll live in the long run. If anyone cares, here's ones I like to use. And yes, I realise that after so many "guidelines" I've probably contradicted myself many, many, many times. Life with it - life isn't that black & white - pick the best one for the sitch' (and I leave THAT choice to you).

My Take on Life

1. Think about what you say before you say it. It can save you lots of grief if you take a sec to realize what you're about to say.

2. Being emotionally down NEVER means you have to bring down others around you. Regardless of how you're feeling, you mustn't allow yourself to radiate the so-called vibes to others. They'll thank you later.

3. If you're kidding around with people -- may they be a friend, brother, or little cousin -- make sure they realize you're kidding. If they can't sense the underlying sarcasm in your words, you might as well just be insulting them outright (and that's usually a bad thing).

4. If your body does something you really have no control over (i.e. sneezes, gas etc.), simply excuse yourself. It's just the proper thing to do, otherwise it's just rude and obnoxious, and no one wants that.

5. Always tell yourself you're good at things, but never the best at them. You do that, and you'll never let youself improve, and then you'll just look like an idiot.

6. Vulgar stories all have their place in society, but be aware of other's feelings before you express them. Believe it or not, some people STILL get offended by that kind of stuff.

7. Fast food is pretty good: it's quick, cheap, and generally tastes okay. Remember, however, that you're putting a lot of crap into your system every time you do. Don't make it a staple in your life.

8. Playing in the park is ALWAYS better than watching people play in the park on TV.

9. Never buy leather jackets for 5 bucks from someone on the street; it's just not worth it!

10. Don't talk to someone if they're already talking to someone else. That just has to be one of the ABSOLUTE worst things I've ever seen. Someone losing a conversation because someone else interrupts. Just don't do it, okay?

11. One of the worst things in the world is being in debt, right? How you handle it: DON'T be in it to start with! Better to miss a little bit of lunch than owe the SAME guy $1.50 over and over again.

12. It really is true that no one cares if you're unhappy. Being mopey and stuff doesn't suddenly cause the world to stop for you. You have to solve the problem for yourself.

13. Saying a "hello" to someone is the easiest way to make them feel good. It's the world's best pick-me-up after ice-cream! Do it lots, do it often, and don't forget to do it!

14. Humbled persons have the nicest personalities. Those who don't know this are usually the more arrogant jackasses out there. When a person can humble himself/herself, they can more easily see who they are, and what they're not.

15. (Carry-off from #3) This regards to joking around with someone EVEN IF they know you're kidding. If it still hurts them, it wasn't all that funny.

16. When you tell someone you have prior arrangements for a day, you don't have to give a life-story as to what you're about to do. It it involves others, it simply makes you sound like those people are worth more to you than the others. Try to keep as general as possible when saying "I'm busy".

17. People can get annoying/get you riled up. That's a fact of life. What you have to remember, though, is that when retaliating to it, DON'T make it personal. Tell them to "shut up!", but don't go any further than that. It just gets messy.

18. Always stretch before you work out. (This can be used literally AND metaphorically!)

19. It's not a matter of what you say; it's what others hear (deep, no?).

20. Friday night was not meant to be spent watching TGIF. Get out there already!

21. Sometimes ya just have to make an ass of yourself. It can be quite beneficial now and then.

22. (Not that this one is new or anything, but . . .) Stuff happens. Life goes on. 'Nuff said.

23. If you're listening to music that's so loud you can't hear anything over the bass thumping, you might as well have it turned off!

24. If you've got problems with someone, the answer is NEVER to stay away from them; it gives them more time to talk behind your back. Confrontation and discussion is the key.

25. Don't make it a habit of returning videos late. Late charges are atrocious nowadays and your family members end up catching them. They, in turn, tend to like you less.

26. Always wear your seatbelt. It just makes sense, doesn't it?

27. Put the plastic cover over food before you turn on the microwave. It speeds things along and reduces splatter.

28. I got this from a book from my youth: "You need a reason to be unhappy, but you don't really need a reason to be happy." It makes a fair amount of sense, ya suppose?

29. Un-learning what you have learned to re-learn it is tricky stuff - make sure you try to get it on the first try.

30. If at first you don't succeed, by all means keep trying! But if you're spending your life on something that just isn't working out, you may want to consider getting a new hobby.

31. A breathmint is never a replacement for brushing your teeth.

32. Wanting to grow up too fast is like speeding to a red light: you get frustrated because you rush and stop abruptly and you're not really getting anywhere any faster, but taking your time keeps you from having to step on the clutch and risk stalling from stopping (yeah, I guess I lost the metaphor [or simile, I should say], didn't I?).

33. "Indefatigable" is a really cool word to use! (Don't know what it means? Look it up, it'll get ya good marks on your next essay.)

34. Journals or any other form of free-writing assignment given by english teachers and the like don't have to be as intimidating as they sometimes seem. Just rant, and the page fills up like THAT!

35. When one is sick, one would never believe the amazing healing powers of juice!

36. (Another oldie . . .) If you're going to do anything, may it be meaningful or menial, do it ALL OUT. Ex: if you're already holding a couple people's bags for them, go around and get everyone else's and walk around like an old WW2 Demolitions Sapper!

37. Quick note to keep in mind: a couple of things generally means 2; a few things generally means 3. Just a thing to think about.

38. Math 12 is frickin' hard! Never underestimate it!

39. Don't fill up more than 300-400 megabytes of memory with mp3's and stuff - that's already a lot of memory as is, and these days you really have to think about conserving it ('cause then you can run stuff without slow-down!).

40. Napkins are awesome - 'nuff said.

41. Sometimes it's just enough to know you're right without having to pronounce it to the world - a lot of times people won't care if you're right or not (else they'll just get annoyed as to how you must ALWAYS be right).

42. (This appiles to guys:) When a girl looks/is/trying-to-hide-that-she's cold, don't just stand there going, "oh gee, that sucks." Do something about it; lend them your jacket, rub their hands or whatever . . . it's just a nice gesture, ya know.

43. If ever taking a road test, the first step is to see if you can make the examiner laugh or something. If you can make them crack a smile or break their demeanor in any way, you'll be much more relaxed, and you won't do so bad! (And Tara gets the credit for this one [you know who you are]!)

44. If you ever find yourself with a fault in your character, don't just brush it off, going, "That's just how I am." That is the ABSOLUTE CRAPPIEST excuse I have EVER heard! That just means that "yes, I see something in me that is offensive to others, but I don't give a damn!" Just . . . don't say that, okay?

45. Always know this: whatever you do, let it be leisure or life-changing, never EVER lose or compromise your integrity. It's perhaps the only part [of many] of you that no one can ever take from you, so don't let yourself lose it through some conflict of character that shouldn't happen.

46. It's okay to watch television, but you have to know how to watch it intelligently. I know it's called the "idiot box" for a reason, but that's because too many people just watch the pictures move and that's about it. You have to catch the little things - how the person's eyebrow twitches when he speaks, or what time-signature the theme song is in. Do stuff like that and you won't get so dumb (but still, get out now and then).

47. Just because one knows how to talk doesn't necessarily mean one knows how to have a conversation - please, try not to talk just for the sake of hearing your own voice, PLEASE?

48. If someone does seem to have something worth saying, let them say it - AND listen . . . or at least PRETEND to listen.

49. You should NEVER have to pay 10 dollars for parking - EVER! NEVER do it! NEVER!!!

50. Don't go to an 18A movie if you're not 18 and you shaved that day - it won't work (Note: this doesn't apply if you're already over 18, in which case you simply just ignore this one).

51. I got this from Highlander - reasons and excuses are the same thing. Makes, a bit of sense, huh?

52. Empathy. Empathy is perhaps the greatest trait any person can ever hope to master. Learn it, use it, and understand it.

53. Optimism gets oneself through the sad, sad world. In example: instead of seeing a movie for how bad it is, look for the things that make it good (which is why I can still let myself watch Van Damme movies now and then).

54. [Carried from rule #53:] If someone's being an ass to you, intentionally or not, don't retaliate to get back at them - with luck they'll just figure YOU'RE the ass. Example: bad waitresses - they serve you crappily, and then you act crappily back to them in return, all it does is that now two more people are alienated. If you keep your cool, then they can't say anything bad about you (which will eat them up inside, believe me!). Just remember: asses have friends they'll bitch to as well [this carries from #52].

55. If someone looks kinda bummed out, ask them about it. If they don't feel like sharing, they'll say so, and you can leave freely. If they DO have something bugging them, they'll feel so great that someone's listening to them. It's either no harm or all good, either way.

56. Never EVER use the excuse "because I'm stupid" after anything - it leaves you open to too many different insults. If you have to, just make up some outlandish reason: "I got this question wrong because Leo is going through Pluto today, and my psychic tunage is off today . . ." You get the idea.

57. [Carried from #54:] This is somewhat contradictory to what I've preached so far, but sometimes it really IS necessary to get back at others, eye-for-an-eye. Some people just have to realise how stupid they're acting, and one can show them with class. Just remember: be subtle, and throw in a line or two. That's the best way.

58. Weekend or not, there's still nothing wrong with getting sleep before midnight. If you have a big day the next day, your eyes'll thank you.

59. This is a quote I really took to heart: Life never ceases to be funny when its serious, nor does it cease to be serious when it is funny. Actually, I think I screwed it up, but the idea is still there.

60. People that try to set other people up together ought to be beaten mercilessly! 'nuff said!

61. [Carried from #60:] Though you can and shall still mercilessly beat like said persons, you're still allowed to enjoy their work nonetheless - still, it's also still fun to beat on them mercilessly too . . . . .

62. ICQ, no matter how physically impersonal it is, is still an excellent, excellent, excellent tool of communication. It's chief thing I find is that people have a chance to collect their thoughts before having to say them - gotta love that.

63. Never pass up an opportunity to use a high-speed modem to do your online work (incidentally, this one came to me while I was sitting in my brother's office, with an idle computer staring at me). Oh, and of course, if you ALREADY have a high-speed modem, then I'll just say "You suck and I hate you", and disregard this one.

64. Grappling or wrestling is an absolute necessity to know or learn to survive a modern-day get-together of people.

65. Don't drink 12-packs of pop too quickly, or else you have to go buy more at a sooner day.

66. An ambush is a completely acceptable form of saying hello.

67. When messaging someone via ICQ, PLEASE get all your thoughts finished off on one message before you send it! It's very frustrating to message someone only to find that they had 3 extra things to say beforehand! Just . . . don't do it, okay?

68. One word, one link: www.sparknotes.com

69. No matter how doubtful things can seem, anything, given time, is possible.

70. There's no way around it; life is inherently funny.

71. Don't eat curry the night before you have to ride a bus for a really long time.

72. Whenever you think your understanding of life is starting to work, it is guaranteed that it will suddenly be thrown back at you and you'll have to start over again.

73. The Canadian dollar is sucking again - watch where you spend it.

74. Take this phrase to heart: "I'm not in a terrible hurry . . ."

75. Store-bought chocolate milk is the devil! I'll be brief: it's the reason why dairy people can sell off all of their milk, good or not-so-good. Make your own or stick to the white one.

76. Regarding the usage of umbrellas: either you can not use one and walk in the rain, or you can use one and then have to sit with the rain - pick your poison (personally I dislike sitting with it).

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