Hack & Slash: Lovable Idiots

Name: Hack (red) and Slash (blue) ["hack and slash" here implies mindless brute force]

Format: Mechanical Henchmen

Function: To Execute Megabyte's [and later Phong's] Commands

Age: Unknown; Being machines of some sort, a better term would be creation date, which would be sometime after Megabyte was born apparently

I like these guys. They are complete morons, but they are lovable morons, and their lack of intelligence is quite beneficial since they were built to do Megabyte's bidding. Though they are clearly machines of some sort (when destroyed by Hexadecimal's blast, they were able to be reassembled under Phong's orders), they also each have a personality chip (as seen by Matrix's question to the infected sprites about their drones having personality chips, this appears to be somewhat standard). The simplicity of their minds is beneficial to their purpose in that it leads them to follow orders, since thinking on their own would clearly be beyond their limited mental capacities. Nonetheless, they also were not programmed to be completely ruthless either. The concern for strength and firepower [with weapons that can mechanically telescope, extend, and unfold into shape] over brains repeatedly was shown to have been rather misguided.

These two guys are clearly meant to be comic relief (next to Bob, they often have some of the best dialogue), as well as a way to help insure that evil does not win in the end. Hack and Slash (blue and red with the reverse) from episode one are shown to be (1) not that smart (2) so stupid as to be funny. Megabyte has trouble telling them apart (they both appear equally stupid and always are together) and quite often gets rather tired of their antics and repeated foul-ups. For instance, seeing that Enzo was not a suitable gullible delivery boy, he had the pair deliver a bomb to Hexadecimal, which they prompted returned (she already had one) still ready to go off. His patience apparently finally gave out when they let Cyrus get away and he allowed them to go into harms way, resulting in them being blown up.

Hack and Slash did have their uses, serving as brute muscle (to get an idea of how strong the two are note that Slash was able to punch Gigabyte [Megabyte+Hexadecimal+Web Creature as one] quite some distance, though at the time it was a dumb thing to do), but obviously not match for Bob and company, as seen in an early episode when the two slammed into each other while going at Bob from opposite directions. They had more luck enforcing "voluntary censorship" over Mike the TV, the one person perhaps more dumb than themselves. Their usefulness as muscle and firepower was also the reason why Phong had them reassembled, now to fight for the good side. On the other hand, their intelligence level did not seem to have increased much if at all in the process.

This change in leadership actually seemed to better reflect their characters. The two really had nothing against Bob and company, it was just their job to follow Megabyte's orders. They actually missed Bob when he was sent to the Web because Bob insured that they never had to do anything really bad. Hack and Slash are also very close, best friends that look for each other for support (hugging close during Restart) and very concerned when one or the other is endangered (see Slash's response when Gigabyte drained Hack's energy, though Slash's punch ruined Bob's immediate plan). They are ultimately lovable characters that luckily could continue on as aids to the good guys, though one fears their stupidity might just hurt them sometime in the future. Still, Hack and Slash, "got to love them."

As the show went on, the key to enjoying these two's dialogue was often that they were a type of comedy team of sorts that worked off each other. This along with the tone and manner of their speech makes them the goofy guys we love.

"Sorry Boss!" [constant refrain]

"I don't keep you two around for your brains, now, do I?" --Megabyte to H+S

"Hack: [with Slash catch the falling Megabyte]Going our way? Slash: which is any way you`re going!"

Slash: But every time I press the button something horrible happens! Hack: Uh... Slash? Slash: Whut? Hack: (shouts) THAT`S THE IDEA!! ... [Cyrus Let Go] Hack: Now you`ve done it. Megabyte`s gonna be mad! Slash: Oh, what`s new? I miss Bob! Hack: (incredulous) What? (tries to muffle him) You crazy? Slash: Bob always stopped us before we could do anything really bad. (sadly) Now nobody does!

Hack: Goodness! I wonder what happened to his eye? Slash: Gee, I don`t know, but i wouldn`t want to see the other guy! Hack: Wouldn`t want to be seen? Slash: Nah! -- Reunion with Bob and Matrix}

Hack: "Ooh! We found it!" Slash: "Yes we did." Hack: "It was in the trash--" Slash: "I tripped over it." Hack: "And it smelled..." --upon finding Phong's body