Buffy nestled in the crook of his arm and snuggled on to his chest as they went through the heavy text together. Their search so far had been fruitless. He retreated from her and snapped the book closed.
"Let's take a break and not think about this for a while." Angel declared.
Buffy smiled brightly and got up from the couch with a little effort. She was four months pregnant and starting to show. Dr. Everhart said that everything was proceeding nicely and that this would be a normal pregnancy with no complications. Buffy had smiled outwardly and groaned inwardly. Normal? Nothing in her life could ever be normal. She is the Slayer, her children's father is a vampire and all signs pointed to the twins becoming the reincarnations of the Oracles. Normal? Hah!
"How's school?" Angel asked brightly.
Buffy mulled over her answer before telling him all about it. All the while she was fixing herself three sandwiches, making them assembly line style. She wasn't planning on attending school this semester so that she could take care of her mother, but with her mom doing just fine and the doctors giving her a clean bill of health, she had been hoping that her impending pregnancy and delivery would spare her from UC Sunnydale. No such luck. With her due date in June, her mom saw no problem with her attending all semester and taking her finals in May as usual. End of discussion.
"Other than all that, school is okay. I think I'm going to have fun with the professor in my Historical Texts and Prophecy class though. With Faith back in town and staying with Giles, I don't have to go on patrols or save the world or anything like that."
"And you can come up and visit me whenever you want," Angel continued, eyeing her food.
Buffy smiled ruefully and plopped back down on the couch with her overloaded plate and a glass of milk. Angel had invited her to spend the Valentine's Day weekend with him when she came up the last time to tell him that she was pregnant. But, somehow, to Buffy, it felt hollow. They could still do almost all the things that lovers do, but hadn't even shared more than a friendly hug when she arrived Friday night. Oh, she knew what could happen if they gave in to their desires, but Angel didn't even seem to have those desires anymore. She munched thoughtfully on her second sandwich. Did she even have those desires anymore? So much has happened between them to deny that she didn't love him. But it wasn't the same. Was that how he felt?
"Penny for your thoughts?" Angel asked, frowning slightly.
She turned to look at him, all eyes. God, she is so beautiful, Angel thought to himself. Hold yourself there, buddy, he chastised himself almost immediately. He smiled encouragingly, and she hesitated and finally opened her mouth to speak. "Angel, do you still love me?"
Angel jerked back in his seat and got up quickly, leaving Buffy on the couch. He paced back and forth with a brisk stride and came to a stop in front of her before continuing his pace. He came back and kneeled on the floor in front of her, placing her dish carefully on the table and taking her hand in his. "God, Buffy," he stated and she sank down to the floor to join him. "I would love you until the end of time if I had to."
His face took on a pained expression as he got up, leaving Buffy on the floor watching his retreat. He went to his window and looked out across the night sky, face hidden from all but the window frame. Buffy slowly got up, using the table and the couch for support and went to stand behind him. She placed one hand on his shoulder and he turned around, not quite crying. His voice cracked with emotion when he finally spoke. "I'm to be rewarded after I help to save the world. The Powers That Be will make me human again. But until then, Buffy, I can't show you how much I love you. I can't expect you to be alone until then, I want you to find someone who can love you back. But if we save the world in this lifetime, will you forgive me then?"
Buffy, already crying silently, nodded and smiled through her tears and hugged him as his own silent sobs wracked through him. They sat like that, crooning at each other comfortingly, when suddenly, they sprung back from each other.
Buffy looked at Angel in wonder. "Did you feel that?"
He placed his hand on the light curve of her stomach and felt a slightly less violent kick from within and nodded.
"They never did that before. I think they were telling us to stop crying already." Buffy giggled and took Angel's hand to lead him back to the couch. She handed him the heavy book and took her dishes to his kitchen sink. "Sit and keep looking."
Rinsing out the dishes, she returned to her place on the couch next to him. He pointed to a passage in the book. "How about for a girl, Debra?" Buffy shook her head and wrinkled her nose.
Suddenly, she had the perfect idea. "If there is a girl, how about Angela?"
Angel smiled and said. "I like the sound of that." He placed his arm around her and continued paging through "The Biggest Book of Baby Names".
Sunnydale
Spike crushed the last light of his cigarette out under his boot and carefully threw the stub into the Summers' trashcan. Midnight, and she still wasn't home. No one was for that matter. Maybe this wasn't one of his greatest ideas, he thought to himself. But, it was Valentine's Day. She said that she would be home in the evening and she still wasn't there.
He took out his silver cigarette case and sat back down on the back porch to wait. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small velvet box. He opened it and looked for the thousandth time at the silver filagree heart hanging from the delicate silver chain.
Ever since she had told him that he was such a great friend, he had been just that. Helping her in her battles, joking with her, quizzing her in preparation for the few early tests she had to take in the beginning of the semester, asking how her visits with Dr. Everhart had been. No one but Spike knew how he really felt about her.
He thought back to his glory days and how little he had felt for humans. He remembered the rush he had felt as the previous slayers had died at his hands. He smiled despite himself. But, that Spike wasn't who he was now. He wasn't even sure when and why he had started to have feelings for Buffy. When she told him that he was beneath her, that blow had been the worst until she had told him that he was a great friend. What a pansy he had become! But things always do come full circle and he decided that maybe it wasn't so bad to be not so bad.
He had nothing to prove to her. She knew almost everything about him. As he did her. Maybe that is what it was. That they knew each other so well, their strengths and weaknesses. She only needed to find it in herself what he had already found.
Almost two and he had run out of smokes waiting. He closed the velvet box and placed it back into his pocket. Swinging on a low branch, he made his way up to her bedroom window as he had done so many times, many months ago, just to watch her sleep. He found the window unlocked, stepped inside and crossed the room to flip the light on.
He placed the jewelry box on Buffy's desk, which was littered with schoolwork. He cleared it aside and next to the box was now an empty space. He rooted around to find something to write on and came up with a post-it. Grasping one of her 'girly' pens, as he had called them only last week, he thought about what to write. He finally settled on a short message and put the paper sticky side first right on the box. Turning off the light, he exited again through the window. He went down the tree quickly and was walking down the street in the opposite direction when he thought to himself. I can't leave that there! As he turned to go back and retrieve the necklace, he saw the light in Buffy's room turn on.
He hid behind her neighbor's fence in agony. He watched as she dropped her overnight bag on the floor, and paced carrying things back and forth. Finally, she passed again in front of the window holding the box and the post it which was attached to her index finger as she read. She was gone from view again and if Spike had a breath in his body, he would have died holding it until she finally reappeared in front of the window.
She was dressed simply in a pink flannel nightie which caught the slightly rounded bulge of her stomach. And nestled in the hollow of her throat, hanging from the slight chain, was the silver heart.