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Time: 1992. Mason had asked Julia to remarry him, but Julia put Mason through a lot before giving him her answer. Finally, after stalling for quite a while, Mason was kidnapped and taken to a tacky Las Vegas hotel room, where he met Lucinda Barleyhop, a supposed mud wrestler, with a thick southern accent, who greeted Mason by popping up naked from a jacuzzi. Her story was that Mason, as Sonny Sprockett, had wed her one drunken night in 1988 and they had spent their wedding night in the mud pit. Of course, Mason was distressed when Lucinda produced a marriage certificate and Mason tried to explain about his previous illness. Mason's "wife" wanted to meet her in-laws; Mason tells Ms. Barleyhop about Julia and she is annoyed that he was two-timing her with Julia. Mason goes on to say how Julia is too good for him, and her only flaw was that she could make caviar taste like gravel, as we see Julia watching the events behind a hidden window and Ms. Barleyhop snaps that she doesn't want to talk about her rival and basically lets Mason go. Upon hearing a knock at the door, Lucinda asks Mason if he has money for room service. When he balks, she grabs his tie and Mason goes to answer the door. But it isn't room service but Julia who greets her surprised ex with her own fake southern accent: "I thought I'd drop by to turn some caviar into gravel".
Come to find out, "Lucinda Barleyhop" is a friend of Julia's from law school, a fellow attorney who helped Julia with her plan. Julia had a folder of events in Mason's life that was given to her friend and the ruse took hold. After hugging, promising to see her friend at their reunion, and wishing her friend good luck on her Supreme Court case, the faux Ms. Barleyhop, now with no accent, tells Mason it was nice meeting him with a laugh in her voice and exits, leaving Julia alone with a somewhat angry Mason. Here is where the transcript picks up.
Mason stands up and remarks, "Very clever setup, Julia."
Julia walks past Mason, obviously amused, and qualifies, "She's a friend of mine from law school."
Mason walks over to where Julia stands and says, "And I suppose that guy, Shelly, he also was a phony, I presume?"
Note: ["Shelly" was a friend that Julia used to make it appear that he and Julia were getting close and Julia offered to let "Shelly" (Sheldon) stay with her until he found a place in Santa Barbara. Mason was not amused.]
Julia is at ease, and explains, "Well, I wouldn't call him a phony; he's not gonna live in Santa Barbara, though, because his wife and four kids, they just love the valley." Julia pops a chocolate into her mouth.
Muttering, Mason asks, "I suppose you think this is funny?"
Julia replies, "I think it's hysterical."
Mason lets Julia have it. "Julia, you're sadistic! You set me up to be terrified and humiliated. You used private parts of my life, to expose my most vulnerable spots. Was there a point to all this or was it all just for sport?"
Julia explains her stance. "Oh no, there was a point to it. I just thought it would be nice if you experienced what it was like to be your wife. You know, all those things you described about getting at the most vulnerable places and being completely unscrupulous were all part of my day as Mrs. Mason Capwell."
Mason seems to have had enough. Folding his hands behind his back, he goes for the door and says, "Well, you won't have to suffer that indignity again, Julia. It's obvious you're turning me down. Frankly, a note would have been more to the point." Mason holds the door open.
Unruffled, Julia stops him with, "Mason, don't be such a bad sport. You want it in writing, just hang on for a minute."
Mason closes the door and leans against it in a defeated manner. Meanwhile, Julia sits down, chewing on a piece of chocolate as she reaches for the hotel stationery.
The next scene shows Julia holding up a folded pink piece of paper. "Read the note."
Mason, now standing in front of Julia, is clearly upset. "I don't want to suffer anymore. Look, I declare you the winner. Take your trophy and go." Mason hangs his head.
Julia is persistent. "Boy, are you dumb. You don't even know when you're the trophy."
Mason, still defeated, asks, "What are you talking about?"
Julia stands up and walks over to Mason, holding out the note. "You asked me to respond to your proposal in writing and I did, with my best penmanship. You could, at least, do me the courtesy of reading it."
Mason takes the note from Julia and opens the paper. Expecting the worst, he begins to read in a rush. "Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be..." Mason pauses, taking the words in. Impressed, he tells Julia, "This is an astounding passage from the prophets." He sits down.
Julia sits next to Mason. "Oh honestly, Mason. You weren't the only one who took literature classes. And Shakespeare wasn't the only poet." Taking the note from Mason, Julia puts it aside and faces Mason, reciting the poem by heart.
Julia licks her lips and admits what is in her heart. "The fact of the matter is is that I'm not a very happy person without you."
Mason, a hint of tears in his eyes, responds with, "And without you, I'm hollow."
Julia and Mason look at one another and Julia says a bit nervously and rather softly, her voice full of emotion. "I want to marry you, Mason Capwell. I...I just do."
A tear is falling from Mason's left eye as a soft smile emerges. Ever so slowly, he leans towards Julia...and they finally share a soft, gentle kiss. Upon its end, Julia caresses Mason's face.
End
