“Guess what?” AJ asked as soon as our asses hit the booth of the restaurant. I looked over at Howie, amused. AJ was so funny when he had a secret to tell.
“What, Alex?” I asked, taking a sip of my water. I looked around the restaurant happily. This was the best I had felt in weeks, and the guys were taking me out for dinner to celebrate.
“GUESS where we’re going to work on writing and recording? Just guess.”
“Aje, haven’t you learned by now that she HATES guessing games?” Howie asked, winking at me. I rolled my eyes. That wink was like a damned nervous tic with him or something.
“Tell me, Alex.”
“The Bahamas. The fucking Bahamas!” AJ shrieked in a whisper. “Does that TOTALLY kick ass or what?”
“That is great, AJ,” I said dreamily, imagining the beaches and the crashing of the waves. “You’ll have a great time. I hear it’s beautiful down there.”
“It IS. And that is why you’re coming along with us.” AJ bounced up and down in his seat. Obviously this information excited him beyond compare. “You’re coming along, baby! Isn’t that great? You can thank me later.”
“No,” I said solemnly. Howie stared and AJ stopped bouncing.
“Honey, we thought you’d be happy. You’ve always wanted to go there,” Howie said gently.
“It is a sweet offer, and I appreciate it. But the last thing you need is me bumming around there worrying you. And you WOULD worry. Both of you. The other guys too.” I looked at AJ. “This next album is critical for you guys, and you need to be at your very best while writing AND recording. I’d be a sixth wheel. Alex, I appreciate it, and someday, when the album is done, you and I will go down to the Bahamas, drink daiquiris until they pour out of our ears, and dance all night long on the beach, okay?”
He sighed and nodded. “Okay. But you heard her, D. She said we’d dance ALL night long.”
The guys were gone for almost the entire month of May. I missed them terribly, but in a way I was glad they weren’t around. Though they were utterly supportive, I always felt like I had to be extra brave when I was with them. I knew they were each strong in their own way, and often I would draw off that strength, but I also knew that once I let my own façade fall, they would have a hard time dealing with things.
May started out really well for me. I found no new lesions, and for the first time in months I could take a deep breath and not cough. I worked on some new designs, and I even managed to wallpaper the guestroom. By the time AJ showed up at my house the day after their return, however, I could hardly walk between the bedroom and the bathroom. I had been forced to start the radiation treatments again, and this time they were for lesions on my face. The burning of the radiation made my mouth hurt like hell, and eating was something I did at a bare minimum. Alex had a key to my house, and he let himself in. I heard him whistling as he jogged up the steps. “Babygirl? Your prince has arrived, and I come bearing gifts.” He burst into the bedroom and stopped short. “Baby?” His eyes were huge as he looked at my face.
“Alex…” I slid out from under the covers and crawled to the bathroom, making it just in time.
“Oh…shit…honey…” I heard him wring out a washcloth and moaned as its coolness pressed against my forehead, and then the back of my neck. He smoothed back my hair as I vomited, tears from the pain in my mouth mixing with the dry heaves. I had no clue what could possibly come up; I had hardly eaten even toast. AJ had never been around when I was this sick, and I was shocked at how well he was handling it. When the heaves subsided he got me a drink of water, then pulled me into his arms on the floor. I wept in his embrace as he rocked us side to side.
“Alex…I’m sorry…” I croaked. I was mortified.
“Baby, do NOT apologize, you understand me? What, do you think I’ve never prayed to the porcelain goddess before? It was a regular occurrence on tour.” I smiled as I imagined AJ on tour. Every night a party. “Just relax. Relax and then I’ll draw you a nice bath.”
I sighed with gratitude. I had been afraid to get into a tub, worried that something would happen and I wouldn’t be able to climb out in time. I had done my bathing at the sink. “That sounds nice.”
“Wanna see what I brought you?” AJ asked in a soothing tone.
“After the bath,” I said weakly. He nodded and held me for a bit longer. He gently leaned me against the wall and stood to start the bathwater. “Bubbles are in the cabinet,” I told him. He raised an eyebrow. “Any self-respecting female uses bubbles in her bath,” I told him.
AJ snapped his fingers. “THAT must be why I don’t have a girlfriend.” He went to the bathroom cabinet and pulled out a bottle of country apple bubble bath from Bath and Body Works. “This what you mean?” I nodded. He dumped an ample amount into the bathtub. “Okay. Your turn.” He helped me stand. I was shocked when I looked at him.
“Alex, are you blushing?”
“Um, maybe,” he stammered. His brown eyes studied my face. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No, of course not. I…oh…” My eyes widened as I realized what he meant. He was asking if I minded undressing in front of him. “I’d rather you stayed,” I told him. “I feel safer with you here…and it’s not like you haven’t seen it before. Besides, I’ve lost so much weight you won’t be even CLOSE to turned on.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” He helped me out of my pajamas and held my hand as I stepped into the tub. I slid under the bubbles with a huge sigh. This was heaven. AJ grabbed a new washcloth and reached into the water. I squealed as he picked up my leg and began to wash from the toes up. I couldn’t help but giggle.
“Alex, that tickles!”
“The legs are still good. I always liked your legs,” he commented.
“AJ, you knew me for about fifteen minutes when…”
“I mean AFTER that. You weren’t just a fuck to me, you know.” I was shocked into silence. He pushed up his sleeves and reached into the water for my other leg. “I mean, yes, there are girls who are just fucks, but you never were. I wouldn’t be your friend now if you weren’t something more then.”
A tear slipped down my face. “Alex…”
“I mean, I was young then and not looking for a relationship, but I thought we clicked on like the friendship level. You were smart and fun and WAY too good for me. You’re one of the best friends I have outside the group.”
“That means a lot to me, Alex,” I said softly. We shared a friendly smile and he helped me finish my bath. He helped me step out of the tub and I slowly dried off as he went in search of new pajamas.
“How about this?” I screamed at the sexy teddy he waved in front of me. It was black and had a lot more lace than real fabric.
“Alexander McLean, where the HELL did you find that?”
“I bought it for you. Thought you could save it for your wedding night.” He danced it around in front of him.
“AJ, thank you, but…”
“Don’t say it. Never say never,” AJ ordered. He held out one of my nightshirts that he had been holding behind his back. “Now put this on and get your ass back into the bedroom. I have presents for you!”