“But I’m not tired!” I grumbled as I pulled off my shorts and climbed into bed.
“Do you WANT to go to this dinner thing or not?” Felicia asked as she pulled the covers up over me. “You’re acting like a six year old.”
“You’re TREATING me like one,” I huffed.
“You’re ACTING like one, that’s why.” She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been doing so well, but tonight will wear you out, I assure you. Nap now and you’ll feel MUCH better tonight.”
“But I want to see my friends!” I whined yet again, then laughed. I DID sound like a six-year-old.
“You’ll see them tonight. I need to talk to them, anyway. That’s why they’re coming over at all.” She snapped off the light.
“You probably just want to hit on them all,” I said, then buried my face in the pillow to hide the laughter.
“Oh, GOD. Hardly. The last thing I need in my life right now is a man. Your buddy Alex is bad enough. GOOD NIGHT, young lady.”
“Night, Felicia.” I heard the door close behind her and sighed.
The first week had been rocky. True to their first meeting Felicia and Alex had fought like cats and dogs, but I got the idea that they secretly enjoyed their clashes. Both of them had only my best interests at heart, and I thought that Alex was simply jealous of the fact that someone else was around to take care of me. He knew, however, that Felicia was a trained professional, and I’d need her when he left on the tour that would be starting all too soon.
I heard the front door open and close, and I pouted. I could hear Howie’s voice, then Nick, then Brian and Kevin. I wanted to be out there with my friends. We were all going to Nick’s for dinner that night, and Felicia had insisted that I rest so I could have a nice time. I thought up a lame excuse to go ask her a question and slipped out of bed, pulling on my shorts once more. I quietly opened my door and tiptoed down the hall. I could hear their voices coming from the study. I stood outside the door, peeking through the crack where the door hinged, waiting for my moment.
“I’m glad you guys could all come over,” I heard Alex say. “This is Felicia Kent. She’s gonna be taking care of things around here. This is Kevin, that’s Howie, Brian, and Nick.”
“Howie. You’re her best friend, right?”
“Um, yeah,” Howie said. He sounded nervous. I heard Felicia sigh.
“I asked you guys to come over here because there are just some things I think you need to know. I’m sure you’re not all as close to her as Howie and AJ here, but from what she’s said she considers you all close friends.”
“I love her like a sister,” I heard Brian say, and I smiled.
“Good, because she’ll need that love. She’ll need you all to be strong, and let me tell you, it’s gonna get damn hard.”
“My dad passed away from cancer…I know it’s not gonna be easy,” Kevin said, and Felicia sighed again.
“Then you have some idea of what this is like. She’s gonna end up being connected to all kinds of machines, just to help her breathe, help her eat, help her deal with the pain. She’ll start to lose weight uncontrollably as the disease ravages her body. She’ll lose control of basic body functions, down to being able to go to the bathroom.”
“Oh…God…” I heard Nick whisper. I bit my fist to keep from crying out, sorry I had ever gotten out of bed. I wanted to walk away but I couldn’t move.
“She’ll hate you all. She’ll hate herself. She’ll bitch and moan and scream at you all to go away and leave her the fuck alone, because she won’t want you to see her like this, and she’ll think she’s helping you out in the long run. Whatever you do don’t listen to her. She’ll need your love up until the very end, whenever that may be.”
“Do you…” Howie’s voice cracked and he cleared it a few times. “Do you have any idea…um…how long…”
“Every case is different, Howie. She could go on for years, or it could be months. She’s told me, AJ, that you wanted to cancel your tour?”
“Um, yes, I was going to mention that to the guys,” I heard AJ reply.
“Don’t. Keep everything as normal as possible. It would only hurt her more to know that you are rearranging your lives around the fact that she may die. I realize you can’t be strong all the time, you’re only human. Just try your best to keep things normal, okay?”
I heard murmured assents and finally was able to tiptoe back to my room. I climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling, unable to close my eyes and sleep. I hated what I had just heard, and I hated Felicia for saying it. These were my friends and she had intentionally said things to hurt them. The fact that it was all true was not something I wanted to think about. I heard the door click and I quickly closed my eyes, feigning sleep.
I felt someone kneel by the bed, and a soft hand traced the side of my face. “Oh, baby,” I heard Howie say. “I love you so much…and I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to live with me. I just…I love you…you’re my other half…and the thought of you…” Howie choked back a sob and it took every single bit of strength I had not to cry with him. “I promise I’ll be strong,” he vowed. “And you’ll never see me down, and I’ll always smile for you. I promise,” he repeated, standing up. He kissed my forehead and left the room.