Today's entry: in which an E-Mail triggers a lot of thinking about writing about thinking.
I had an e-mail from Lynley, Lyra's online friend. She said she reads my site everyday (!) and enjoys my writing. She also asked me if I would like to be added to her links; if I am ready for that. I replied that I think so. It has made me think about who I am writing for.
In the handwritten Journals, I wrote to me, I guess. I would mentally say, "Dear Journal", but mostly it was for me. I expected that someday Lyra would be reading them, but that's a long way off, (I would hope) and so I didn't really write "to" her. It is the same for my daily journal. I write my thoughts to me, but I know that someday Lyra might be interested in what I was thinking about.
Now, however, I am well aware that Lyra reads my site, and that has changed how and what I write. I told Lynley that it is not a bad thing; only different. So who do I write to, now? Lyra writes to Pan. I've thought about whether I could write to "Manatee", but that's a part of me that I've gone way beyond. Maybe I write to Spirit. I named my computer Daily Journal "Spirit" when I began it in 1995, and I kept that as part of this online journal name.
Maybe now I am writing to Spirit. What Spirit? I don't think it matters; sometimes it's the spirit of the little girl who lives inside me, sometimes it's the Holy Spirit, sometimes it's the spirit of a woman who has been married for 44 years. Maybe once in a long while, it is the spirit of Manatee. And sometimes it's an ephemeral spirit that floats about me, giving me glimpses of half-formed thoughts, snatches of music, veiled other worlds. And sometimes, it's the Spirit of my Grandmother N., who often buffets me from unpleasant thoughts, feelings, actions.
So, hello Spirit!
It has started to rain, so I don't have to feel guilty that I am celebrating the good sugar test results by writing instead of the walking I should be doing.
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