"Martha was distracted by her many task; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."
I grew up in a time in society when to be a good wife and mother, you had to be a Martha. You were told that your role was to keep a clean house, make nutritious meals, bring up perfectly behaved children, and do all this without messing a hairdo, or getting your pristine, ironed apron dirty. The only roles open to women in the world, except for a extraordinary few, were teaching and nursing. And in the church, women did all the cleaning and decorating that a good Martha does.
And I happily did all this. I baked my own bread, I milked my own cow and made butter and cheese, I cleaned and sewed and when my husband called me at 10 of five on a weekday evening to tell me that he was bringing home three gentlemen for dinner, I set a spread that would make any gourmet cook envious. And did it by 6 o'clock with the able help of my three, perfectly behaved children. Well, maybe that last isn't totally true, but they were good kids most of the time.
But, luckily for me, three of those extraordinary women I spoke about were in my family, my grandmother and my two aunts. They never withdrew into the kitchen after a family dinner to discuss babies and recipes, like most of my friends did, leaving the men to hash over the events of the day. They were in the thick of the arguments (spoken of as "loud discussions" in our family), giving as good as they got. And I was fascinated. They also, very early in my youth, encouraged me to express my opinions in these debates.
But, it was a long time before I realized that the person of Mary, in today's gospel, had anything to do with me. As a matter of fact, I was a bit resentful of this passage, as I was more than a little Martha, working my self into a sweat as I entertained, setting impossible goals to achieve, always trying to outdo my last triumph. And I'm sure that if Jesus had physically been a guest in my house, I would have been whining as I hustled back and forth from the kitchen, serving everybody, asking how come I had to do all the work.
I had no time to listen to God. I had too much to do. There was always one more cake to bake, another dress to sew, and one more white shirt to iron. Oh, I said my prayers when I fell into bed, and sometimes, very rarely, I would glimpse him off in the distance for just a tempting second. About the only time I truly had a feeling of closeness to Him was at the Communion rail, and when I was alone in the barn milking my dear little cow.
Around this time, I read the Narnia series aloud to the children. This experience aroused a longing and curiosity in me that I couldn't explain. Mary was knocking at my door.
As my children grew and were finally all in school, I began to search for something else. I still enjoyed all the Martha things, but I felt a restlessness that I couldn't quite indentify. With my husband's support and urging, I began to go to college and this step opened up my mind to others things in the world. When we moved to Pennsylvania, I started a degree program in earnest. Martha began to fade a bit, and Mary was awakened in me.
I continued, with my children's capable help, to run a household at almost the same standard I had before, but more and more I needed to exercise my mind and my heart. At church, I listened with more than one ear, forgetting that I had to finish the ironing when I got home. I began to expand my reading to include those books that C. S. Lewis had written for adults. I wanted to know more about the Bible. I found myself thinking about Jesus' role in my life and my prayers became a little more varied than the litany of petitions I had always ended my day with.
I was still "distracted by many things", but I felt that there was a different way opened to me, if I could only listen close enough to hear the directions. I began my search in earnest about 26 years ago. I since have drawn on the faith and strength of those extraordinary women in my family. And I am just beginning to understand how to "chose the better part, which will not be taken away from me."
I believe firmly that Jesus loved and respected Martha, and that there is a time and a place for all of us to take care of the "many things." The trick is to keep them in perspective, so that we do not become so distracted that we cannot hear the better part. As for Mary, she has a great lesson to teach us. We must listen at our Lord's knee, really listen, shutting out all the noise of the world, so that we feed our souls and hearts and minds for his service.
And this lesson is for all of us, men, women, and children. There are too many frazzled husbands and fathers who become so immersed in their work, driven so hard by their need to provide for their families, that they miss the point. They forget to stop and listen and to see the Christ in those around them.
And so, we must welcome them both, Martha and Mary. And with them, each in our own way, open our lives to Jesus. I will leave you with a poem written by Shirin McArthur, and published in the book, Women's Uncommon Prayers. It is titled, "I Am Martha, I Am Mary." (page 112)
End of sermon
I will print out the poem another day.
6:44 PM
Well, here it is...my first sermon! I will deliver it on July 22. This is so much different than presenting at conferences!
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