From snowdrops blooming in the yard,
Coat buttoned to my chin, I slip
I shrug my shoulders and push on,
The site manager sent me home around 3 today; she could see I had met the end of my rope. This whirlwind flying trip to Washington has left me with little or no resources. I posted a bit on the message board this morning that doesn't seem to be there. I wonder what I did wrong.
A couple people were waiting for me to have something to say about the terrible shooting by the 7-year old. I'm not sure what they want from me. I'm sure they are as horrified as I am. I can't fix blame, anymore than anyone can. I do know that loving and being kind to little ones can't hurt them, and may help them. So many of the youngsters have such difficult lives, that it is almost surprising this kind of thing doesn't happen more often.
And parents. As one said to me, "They don't come with owner's manuals." I think that plaint is heard across economic lines. But you add barely surviving to that common thought, or childhood sexual abuse of the parent herself, or a misunderstanding of a behavior problem...maybe even a misdiagnosis...and a grandparent who has led a bleak life, well. Or mental illness. There you are. And the bleakness and the sexual or physical abuse also crosses economic lines.
So, the media? DB and I made the decision not to have TV when our children were young. Not because of the influence of TV, so much, as that it took away time for playing and reading and being part of the family. Did it have a positive effect on them? How could I possibly know? I DO know that Lyra governed the TV watching of her children very closely when they were young. My boys, however, are TV junkies, and so are their children. What they watch is supervised, however.
How about the internet? I'm sure that will be the next scapegoat. We've all read the warnings about the internet increasing the isolation of young people who tend to be loners. Is this a problem? I don't know. I guess the same parents who supervised TV will supervise their children on the internet. I know I would.
Guns? I grew up in a house with a loaded shotgun hung above the pantry door. I didn't touch it. My brother may have, however, he was much braver than I. Handguns? Automatic weapons? Beyond my ken why they would be hanging around a house for a child to get his/her hands on. BB guns? I went to school with a child who had lost an eye to a BB gun shot in anger by his foster brother.
What I DO know, is that treating children with respect; giving them appropriate limits; helping them develop skills for conflict resolution; setting up an environment at home or at school that encourages appropriate choices; helping them to see natural consequences; CUEING INTO THEIR NEEDS; and being there for them can't hurt. And it might help.
It's worth it, isn't it, to try?
I hope this doesn't sound flipant; I certainly am not feeling flip. I'm just tired; too much, too much, to cope with at work and in the news and I'm not thinking too clearly.
The trip to Washington? I was a member of a focus group for the national Head Start Bureau that discussed appropriate socializations for families with infants and toddlers. It was a great group of caring, compassionate people who are trying to find ways to empower high risk families to take care of themselves and their children in quality ways. Of course, we shed tears and said prayers for the two children in Michigan. Then we went back to work to try to be at least one solution to the many problems of today's families.
5:01 PM
From winter to spring and back again.
This rollercoaster leaves me as
breathless as the mechanical ones do.
to snow whipping in the cold wind;
my head spins.
and slide in the parking lot.
"Black Ice" lurks there.
hanging onto the memory of
sugar shacks boiling away.
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