This should be a short week, but I feel it dragging and dragging; and I'm dragging with it. Too many "people" problems; too much writing; not enough fresh air and exercise. I told you I was cranky.
I saw something today that sickened me. I would have bet any amount of money that nothing like this could ever happen in our program. But it did. A Mom had trouble dealing with her child in the classroom and asked the family advocate to remove the girl until the child could calm down. So she did. I heard the screams from my office. I try not to interfere when teachers are working with children; if I see something I feel isn't appropriate, I talk to the teacher afterwards. But I couldn't ignore those heart-rending screams. I left a meeting and went out into the hallway...to see a 4-year old girl, ON HER KNEES, HANDS CLASPED IN A BEGGING POSITION, crying, "I want to see my Mommy! I want to kiss my Mommy!" Now, this was way beyond a tantrum; this child was scared. While I was trying to deal with the family advocate, who obviously was in a controlling mode, one of our volunteers sat down in the cubby and held her arms out to the child. The girl ran into them, wrapped her arms and legs around the volunteer, and sobbed, finally calming. I ORDERED the family advocate to get the child's mother, and she did, which immediately solved the problem. I can excuse the mother; she was at her wits end (but she should have been given better advice on how to handle the situation), but I can't excuse the supposed professional for her standing over this begging child, arms folded, saying, "Is THIS how you calm down? Your mother doesn't want to see you until you've calmed down." And on and on. I could not get the picture of that frightened child on her knees, screaming and begging for her mother, out of my mind all day. I finally went to the Site Manager and talked with her about it. I'm the trainer in this program, and I'm feeling like a failure right now. HOW could something like this have happened? It's the old "Behavior Management" idea that I thought was long dead, especially in Early Childhood. Strangely, I had been working on a handout dealing with "trust" and the stress chemical cortisol shortly before this happened. Dear God! My parent group led me a merry chase yesterday. It's sometimes hard to see any silver linings in these dark clouds. It all worked out, though, and a parent was very helpful to another parent. I needed a nap, or a stiff drink, when the class was over, however. Oh, one very bright silver lining this morning: a father in my group came to me because he wants to learn to read. His reading level is about 2nd grade, he thinks. I tried to get ahold of the testing service today to see if they would let me administer a reading test to him, but no one was available. He wants to take the test with us, because he's very shy about this problem. Once I find out where he is, I'll get the appropriate books from the Literacy program at the library. He won't go there for help, but is willing to come in early each morning for some 1-1 tutoring. Inspite of his severe handicap, he valiantly reads a page or two of the children's books when we read aloud during class. He has been told he can "pass", but he tries. He knows more vocabulary that he realizes. This young man is great in the classroom, so I hope we can help him. He says once he has gotten a little better, he'll go to a regular literacy class at the Job Development Center. Good for him.
7:03 PM
I think it was beautiful today. I'm not sure because my head was buried in my computer (or in my hands, a few times) while I edited, combined, rewrote, created, folded and mutilated. I've had two days of this, and all last week, so it's hard to sit here in the evening and concentrate. I got home late, so I didn't walk. And that always makes me cranky.
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