Chapter 3

"MCDONALDS!" AJ exclaimed quickly unbuttoning his seat belt.

"I thought you were sick?" Kevin hissed as the metal buckle slapped him in the gut.

"Hey, you're the one that said eating might make me feel better," the rebel replied easily.

"Damn brats," Kevin grumbled beneath his breath. He reached into the back shaking Howie. "Wake up, we're here."

"Tennessee?" Nick asked.

Kevin bit his lip. "No, McDonalds."

"A McDonalds in Tennessee?"

"No, Nick, a McDonalds in Georgia!"

"Oh."

Brian yawned. "How long until we're at the cabin?"

"I don't know, two maybe three hours."

His cousin raised an eyebrow opening his car door. "In that case I'll be sure to use a santitary bathroom while I have the chance."

Howie stretched as he climbed out of the van. "Come on, Nick, get out of the car it's cold."

Nick fought with his seat belt. "I can't! It's stuck!"

"What do you mean 'it's stuck'?" Kevin moaned.

"I mean it's stuck!" Nick yelped. "Oh, God, I'll have to live the rest of my life trapped inside this van!"

"Oh, shut up, you will not," AJ respond. "Kevin would kill you instead, safe his ears the pain."

"KEVIN!!!!! AJ SAID YOU'D KILL ME!"

Kevin crawled into the backseat helping Brian pull on the metal piece. "I will not 'kill you', but I might be forced to gag you!"

"You're one to talk!" Nick snapped. "You aren't trapped!"

"Yeah, but he's got his ass hanging out of the back of a van in a McDonalds parking lot!" AJ smirked.

"SHUT UP, AJ!" Kevin fumed fighting the metal once more.

"Kevin you're taking up my air!" Brian gasped as his older cousin continued to attempt to free Nick.

"Then, get out!"

"But Nick needs me!" Brian argued.

"Then why couldn't you get him out on your own, wise guy?"

Brian opened the door quietly stepping out into the cold. "Smart ass."

"LET GO YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Kevin demanded yelling at the seat belt.

AJ laughed. "Yo, Kevin I wouldn't be sayin' that if all people could see was my ass in a parking lot!"

"Woo-who!" a young group of girls whistled to Kevin as they climbed into the purple mustang beside the van.

"Nice ass!" the blonde driver shouted to the oldest member honking her car honk.

AJ smiled licking his lips. "Same to you, honey. Can I get your number?"

Howie smacked the youth on the forehead. "Shut up, AJ!!"

"What? It was worth a try!"

"THAT'S IT!" Kevin shouted banging his forehead against the back window. "I'm gonna' cut it off!" he yelled pulling out his pocket knife.

"AH! AH!" Nick cried hysterically tears nearing his eyes. "BRIAN! BRIAN! DON'T LET HIM NEAR ME WITH A BLADE HE'S GOING CRAZY!"

"Kevin..." Howie started.

Kevin lifted the belt in his hand. "If I cut from the right side....."

"Kevin....."

He flipped the blade out. "Then, I just cut along the...."

"KEVIN!" Howie shouted.

"WHAT? Damnit, stop sayin' my name all the damn time you sound like Nick!"

Nick fought the urge to comment considering the older man was armed.

Howie crossed his arms. "Why don't you just loosen the belt as far as it can go and Nick's so thin he can slid out?"

Kevin put away his knife. "Oh."

Brian slid in beside Nick. "I'll loosen it, you just back away from the young man nice and slow...."

"Brian, quit talking to me like I'm a criminal!"

His relative shrugged. "Well, you were armed."

AJ fidgeted back and forth. "Damnit, hurry up, Bri, it's freezin' out here!"

"Then, go inside!" Nick hissed. "That's what I would do- if I could use my legs!"

"I'm tryin'," Brian assured him still loosening the material. "There! Let's give it a try!"

Brian pulled the thick material away from the blonde allowing the young teen to slide out.

"Freedom!" Nick cried kissing the ground- literally. "EW! GROSS!" the teen yelled spitting viagriously.

"What?" Kevin pondered not really caring to receive an answer.

"I-I kissed someone used gum!" Nick bellowed still spitting.

"Dumbass," AJ hollered as the other three laughed loudly.

Nick wiped his lips. "It wasn't that funny!"

"The hell it wasn't!" Kevin chuckled dragging the teen toward the door.

"I love McDonalds....Oh, yes, I do....." AJ sang as they entered the warm restaurant.

"A clean bathroom!" Brian exclaimed running toward the back.

"A sink! I can wash off my lips!" Nick praised following the other member.

AJ grinned deviously. "Can I order for them? Huh? Huh? Can I? Huh?"

"Absolutely not!" Kevin shot back. "I'll order for the four of us."

AJ crossed his arms. "Why does Howie get to place his own order?"

"Because I trust him."

"And you don't trust me?"

"Exactly."

Howie stared at the menu. "Hell, I don't even know what I want, just get whatever, Kev, I'll be happy with anything. I'll go get some napkins and straws while you order."

Kevin smiled at the young girl whom AJ was obviously making nervous with his persistent eye contact. "Hi, sweetheart, could I please have five number one's? And a coke with each drink?"

"Certainly, Sir," the young employee replied as she attempted to inch away from AJ.

AJ leaned on to the counter. "Hello, sweet-thang, if you have your break today I'll give you a real Happy Meal!"

Kevin grabbed AJ roughly by the ear. "Ignore him, sweetheart!" He shoved the rebel at Howie. "Go help, D!"

"But-"

"GO!"

"Fine!"

AJ strolled over to Howie grabbing many handfuls of ketchup. "Kevin, totally ruined it for me and that girl!"

Howie snorted. "Kid, you ruined it the minute you opened up your mouth."

AJ sighed throwing the ketchup onto a big empty table. "One day women will appreciate me for the stud within."

"The stud within?" Howie repeated. "AJ, you need help, kid."

"Ah! Much better!" Brian breathed sitting down. Nick crawled in beside him.

Howie stared at the young teen. "Nick, your lips are freakin' purple!"

"He almost washed his lips until they bled," Brian explained.

"Can you blame him?" AJ added.

"Here we are, although we're lucky to have food at all no thanks to AJ!" Kevin announced as he sat down.

"My hormones are raging!" AJ defended.

"Then, you should be neutered," Kevin suggested.

Brian paled. "Thanks for ruining my appetite, Kevy."

"Shut up, Shorty."

"Don't call me 'Shorty'!"

"Then, don't call me 'Kevy'!"

"Fine, Pumpkin!"

"Bite me!"

"Guys!" Howie exclaimed raising his hands in the air. "Do I have to seperate you?"

"No," they mumbled in unison pouting.

"Good, now eat your meal like good boys."

Nick played with his food. "I'm not hungry!"

"Then, drink your soda," Howie offered.

"Okay."

"Where aren't you hungry?" Brian wondered. "You haven't eaten anything for awhile you should be hungry."

Nick stared at his meal. "I just feel bad."

"You feel sick?" Kevin asked reaching over to feel his forehead.

"No," Nick responded pulling away. "I feel bad for the cow."

"For the cow?" AJ repeated rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, I mean why did the cow die? What if the cow had babies and friends? Now, they're all alone! The butcher just came up behind her and slit her throat open squirting blood everywhere and-"

Brian clutched his stomach. "SHUT UP!"

AJ dropped his burger. "I feel carsick again."

Howie paled. "I don't feel so good."

"Don't let the brat bug you," Kevin replied still chewing, "he exaggerates."

Brian gulped. "I still can't eat that."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Then, eat your fries."

"Good idea," Howie agreed covering his meat.

AJ groaned. "I'm not hungry at all anymore. Come on, Nick, let's go pay at the lego table."

Howie glanced at Kevin. "Is it really safe to let those two play at the lego table unsupervised?"

The oldest singer shrugged. "Think of it this way, if they're playing they can't bug us."

Howie nodded. "God bless the lego table."

"Amen," Brian echoed dunking a fry in ketchup. "Ya' know, I think this trip will be good for you, Kev."

"An eight hour road trip with Nick and AJ...How could anything about that be good?!"

"Well, Tennessee will be a lot like home. Beautiful mountains, pretty snow and peace and quiet."

"You're right about the scenery, but nothing is quiet or peaceful with those two around."

"Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll hate the cold and stay inside the entire time and while you stay outdoors.," Howie suggested.

"Howie, that's cruel!" Brian gasped.

"But it's a damn fine idea!" Kevin agreed.

Howie rubbed his belly. "Well, I'm ready to go."

"Me too," Brian and Kevin chroused throwing away the trash.

"I'll take Nick and AJ their drinks," Brian offered walking toward the lego table.

"All right," Kevin announced pitching away the garbage, "let's hit the road!"

"Hey, Kevin," Brian whispered gazing at the lego table. "Remember how Howie said it was a bad idea to leave Nick and AJ alone unsupervised at the lego table?"

"Yeah."

"He was right."

"You two are dead meat!" Kevin exclaimed dragging them both out the door.

Howie and Brian stared at the table in disbelief. The two teens had arranged the legos into the form of a human hand- a human hand that was flicking off all the customers in McDonalds flashing the birdie with pride.

***************************

"How? Why?" Kevin growled from the passengers seat allowing Howie to drive.

AJ shrugged. "I got the idea out of my issue of PlayBoy."

"Again, why?" Kevin hissed.

"I was bored?"

"Okay, Nick, why did you go along with it?"

Nick yawned. "I like birdies?"

Howie chuckled. "You gotta' admit they did a good job it was very realistic."

"Too realistic," Brian corrected. "Well, why don't we sing Christmas carols to lighten the mood?"

"Is that your answer to everything?" Kevin spat. "I swear you live like the cast of 'Little House On the Prairie!"

"Then, sing with me Pa!" Brian proclaimed.

"Just humor him," Howie sighed.

"Fine. What do you want to sing?"

"Angels We Have Heard On High."

"Can I start?" AJ begged.

"Fine," Kevin agreed.

AJ cleared his throat. "Angel dust can make you high!"

"SHUT UP, AJ!"

********************************

"Are we there yet?" Nick asked repeatively in Howie's ear.

"Just a few more minutes," Howie promised.

"I'm cold," Brian shivered.

"I'm hungry," AJ whined.

"I'm annoyed," Kevin belowed.

"I gotta' pee!" Nick wailed.

Howie took a deep breath. "In just a few minutes you can get warm, Brian. AJ, you can have something to eat. Kevin, you can sleep and, Nick, you can piss!"

"GOOD!" they all exclaimed.

Howie took a sharp turn driving on a noisy gravel road. "Man, this road sucks."

"The van bouncing is giving me a headache!" Nick whined.

"Well, you always give me a headache!" Kevin shot back.

"Here we are!" Howie announced turning off the engine. "Home sweet home! Well, for the next eight days at least!"

Each member quickly grabbed their bags running toward the tiny cabin. Kevin quickly unlocked the door rushing in.

"This is it?" AJ gasped. "It's so-so..."

"Primative," Howie finished.

Nick stared at the open space. "No television? Oh, God, tell me there's an indoor bathroom! I don't wanna pee in the snow!"

"Yes, there's an indoor bathroom," Howie observed pulling on the light cord that dangling above him.

"Thank God!" Nick praised rushing toward the door.

AJ wrinkled his nose. "They don't even have light switches? You have to pull these damn cords?"

Kevin sighed. "Just be thankful we have electricity and plumbing."

Brian squinted. "Hey, Kev, what's that in the corner?"

"A fireplace."

"We have to use that for heat?!"

"Guess so, cuz."

"Yo, if the morons that lived here hooked up electric lights why in the hell didn't they get electric heat?" AJ complained.

"I don't know, AJ."

"Much better!" Nick breathed re-joining the group. He shivered. "Could we do something about the cold? I'm freezing!"

"Me too!" Brian echoed.

"I guess, someone should go get firewood," AJ stated taking a seat beside Nick on the couch.

Yeah, I guess someone should," Brian agreed sitting along side AJ.

Howie took a seat on the arm of the furniture. "I nominate Kevin."

"Aye-aye!" chroused the youngest members.

"Assholes!" Kevin griped grabbing the axe sitting beside the fireplace.

Nick smiled innocently."Would you prefer to stay here with me?"

Kevin marched out the door. "Bring on Mother Nature!"

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