Ch. 20
"What 'ya looking at, Howie?" I asked as I took a seat beside him in the empty venue.
"Hey, AJ, a letter I got from Sally," he stated twirling the unopened object in his hands.
"From that place in Louisville?"
He nodded. "I got it a few days ago."
"Come on, D. Open the damn thing, it's the least you can do- considering she took the time to write it."
With a heavy sigh my friend handed me the letter. "Will you read it for me?"
I extended my hand. "Sure." I took a deep breath observing her neat handwritting. "Here goes nothing......"
Dear Howie,
I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I hate it here. The sounds and sights bring me to tears everynight. I miss you; and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for treating you so terribly and snapping at you- and your friends. I don't deserve you, yet you're still at my side. Why you put up with my crazy antics; I'll never know, but I thank God you do. I'm gaining weight. That should bring a smile to your face. Though, it only brings a frown to mine. Before you know it I'll be a chubby redheaded blob you once knew. However, maybe it's meant to be that I'm not a size zero. If you can accept that, eventually I can as well. But it'll take time. I still panic if I gain a pound- sometimes, even an ounce. Things are not going well. But I'll see you soon, don't worry. Sometimes, I seem a fool to even write you. I am an eighteen-year-old girl, you're a grown man- you shouldn't have to deal with such problems as mine. You should be married and content. Not wondering if your girlfriend remembered to place food in her mouth. If this is too much for you I understand. I don't want add conflict to your life.
Sally
I glanced up from the paper. "Damn, that girl does have a way with words..."
Howie turned to me chewing on his lower lips. "Yeah, she does- that's why she's a writer. But now it's my turn to try to make words flow the way she does."
"You're not gonna' let her slip away, are you?"
He grabbed a piece of paper and pen from Kevin's collection that rest upon the piano. "No, I'm not, AJ. I'll be in the bus if anyone needs me."
I stood. "Take your time, I'll see to it that the guys give you some time alone."
Dear Sally,
i'm sorry the clinic is causing you pain. But maybe it's pain you can learn from to make you better. In your letter you seem as if you're giving me an easy way out of this relationship. Tough shit- I'm staying as long as you want me. You're not a little girl. If you ever doubt yourself you look at the words you plant on paper. You're very much an adult. More than Nick, anyway..but that's not the point. For the first time I'm feeling something that is geniune, please don't take that away from me. Let's try to get through this time. If we make it through this- everything else should be clear sailing for awhile, huh? Don't lose your faith, Sally. And as for your weight gain- I don't care. Lose twenty pounds, gain a hundred...you'll still be beautiful. i just want you to be beautiful AND healthy.
Love,
Howie D.