Chapter Twenty-Four: A Lousy Sense of Timing
Mandy called and Howie let my condition slip. I’m so glad the National Enquirer hasn’t discovered this weak link the Backstreet chain.
Two days later Mandy was on my doorstep. I was allowed downstairs now, as long as I did nothing “extreme.” I didn’t question the doctors definition of extreme, I had AJ’s and Howie’s. AJ’s felt I should be allowed to do anything that didn’t include a blow-torch and some lubricant. I didn’t ask how the two could be used together, I was too frightened of the answer.
Howie was bent on keeping me on the couch, surrounded by fluffy pillows (He was offended by my “flat” ones and had purchased a plethora of round ones.) sipping my hot chocolate by the fire. It was summer. I didn’t point this out to Howie, I just asked AJ to turn down the thermostat. The result was shorts in the living room, parkas in the kitchen.
Mandy arrived during the cocktail hour, which consisted of spring water with a squeeze of lime and a sprig of mint for Howie, flat Sprite for me, and AJ had a beer. Right out of the bottle! The man is so uncouth.
“Mandy...nice to see you.” I so rarely hear Howie lie that it threw me for a minute.
“Hey princess.” Not AJ.
“Hello Alexander.” Not Mandy, either. “Hello Howard. I’ve come to speak to Nick.” I threw AJ the “don’t make the don’t say come it’s not nice joke” look. If he caught it he dropped it.
“Don’t say cum. It’s not nice. Nick says so.” Now he’ll never play for the RedSox.
“What?” Poor Mandy. She’s been in the door only three minutes and they’ve attacked. I’d better throw her a line before she drowns.
“Guys, why don’t you get us some dinner?” Hint, hint.
“It’s not for two hours. We can get it...”
“Now, Howie.” HINT HINT
“I think Nick wants something different for dinner, right Nick?”
“Yea.” And thank you, AJ.
“We’ll be back in AN HOUR.” Thanks, AJ. Make sure Mandy notices that you don’t want me alone with her on your way out!
“They hate me.” It was so sad, her tone of voice, the look on her face, the fact that she was talking to a closed door.
“No they don’t...they just...”
“They hate me.” Fine, have it your way. “It’s OK. I’m use to it. Your bandmates hate me, your fans hate me, my ...” She stopped there. What I know about Mandy is she doesn’t mind stating facts, but she hates to be pathetic. I knew what she meant because I had the same problem with the same person.
“Your mom ragging?”
“The one and only.” She smiled then, a sad smile, and sat in the chair next to me. “I brought you a present.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“I know! I wanted to. I wanted to make up for being such a jerk before, about the wedding.”
“No, you were right. The wedding thing was a bust, and...” I’m always honest with Mandy. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because for good or bad she is always honest with me. “...and you were right about some other stuff.”
“The house?”
“Yea. Kevin didn’t invite us ... and he had invited others.”
“The other guys and their girlfriends, you mean.”
“Yea.”
“Well....I’m sorry I was right.”
“Me too.” I opened the present, it was an
‘NSync CD. Some might think it was a cruel gift when in
reality it’s a running joke between us. I get her Britney
stuff (She f*&^ing HATES f*&^ing Britney f*&^ing
Spears.) and she gets me ‘NSync stuff (Whom I don’t
hate because what the hell have they ever done to me? And besides
Aaron loves their stuff, so I just give it to him. I’m a
dead man if the
guys ever find out.). “Thanks!”
“No problem.”
“What’s with your mom?”
“Same old, same old. You know.” Did I ever. Her mom
had so much in common with mine. This is what the guys and the
fans don’t know, don’t see. Mandy’s mom
didn’t hate it when we broke up, she hated Mandy
(You’re letting him get away! You’ll never catch
another rich one. Damn it, if you have to screw it up can’t
you at least wait until he helps you get another record
contract?). My mom
didn’t hate it when ‘NSync broke our record, she blamed
me (The band is loosing fans because of you! You have that damn
girlfriend they all hate, and you’re gaining too much
weight! Look at that Justin! Just look! You could look like that,
but you don’t care, do you? You too damn lazy to get in
shape and now the fans think you’re fat!). This was the
thread that kept the fabric of Mandy and Nick together, the
thread that would never let us quite slip apart.
Sitting there together, not saying a word (We didn’t need to. We knew all the lines.) it was easy to see why things had changed. Once our relationship was all good, all new and fresh. We got along all the time, the guys liked Mandy, the fans were not overly happy but they didn’t hate her. My mom liked her, her mom liked her. Things had started to change when I stood up to my mom.
My mom had decided that, as I was the most popular of the group (And I would like to point out that, though this has been said many times, it has never been proven. So I have like 421 web sites to AJ’s 200 and Kevin’s 132. That doesn’t mean I have more fans. It means I have more fans that have computers. It’s not the same thing.) that I should go solo. I still have that conversation imprinted on my mind. I had gone as far as I could with the band, they were holding me back, I was the main reason we were so popular, I didn’t owe them anything.
I have no idea where this came from, she blind-sided me with it one day at lunch. And that’s when it all went wrong, for my mother had expected me to do what I always did, say “Yes Mom.” and go with the flow. But I didn’t. I can’t even say for sure why I didn’t. I just didn’t. I refused, I fought back, I stood up. Mother was none to pleased. Over the next few months I did quite a bit of standing up. To my mom, and eventually my dad. I took control of my money, and it turned out just in time. Really, does anyone need a $7000 set of golf clubs, especially when one doesn’t play golf? But the guy down the street had a set, and far be it from my parents to be less than.
So I took control of part of my life, and until this moment I had never realized it. I was in control, I had taken it, and that’s when the trouble started. My mom blamed Mandy, she was a “bad influence on me.” My mom started to plant rumors about Mandy with the fans through gossip and, of all things, an Internet site. Some fans started to treat Mandy as if they believed the rumors. I told her to ignore it, it would all blow over. It didn’t. Things went from bad to worse.
A person can only take so much. A person can only be called a whore so many times before it gets to them. They can only take so many phone calls from the boyfriends family tell them how they are ruining his life. Finally they being to fight back. They get an attitude and they aim it at the people who are causing them pain. My mom and some of the fans have felt the brunt of this attitude. My mom should, the fans shouldn’t.
I’ve told Mandy that they are only reacting to what they know, but in reality it’s my fault as well. I let it go on thinking, is usual Nick fashion, that it would just go away. Not so.
So here we were, in love with one another but sitting on a foundation that had shifted. Our walls were crumbling and we were caught with no clear way out. At least not one we were willing to take, not just yet.
“I’d better go.”
“Stay and talk a while.”
“Naw. I just wanted to give you the present, really wanted to see if you were doing OK.”
“I am. I’m much better.”
“Good!” She picked up her purse. “I’ll be seeing you.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow, OK?”
“If you want. But worry about getting well first. I’m not going any where special.” Just home to her parents to be grilled on “the meeting.” What had Nick said? Did he make any indication that we might get back together? What was she waiting for? She should .... she should get her own place. That would be a good start.
I walked her out to the car, keeping my eye peeled for Howie. I held the car door for her, I always do. She hasn’t had that many gentlemen in her life. She rolled down the window to say good-bye. I leaned in and put my forehead to hers. I knew she had tears in her eyes but didn’t mention them. She hates to be weak. At her house it is forbidden.
“I’ll call. I want to.”
“Good.” She smiled again, not so sad this time. “I love you Nick. Really. I wish ...”
“I know baby. I do too.” We wished. We both wished we could step back in time. What would we do differently? We had done the best we could with what we had. Maybe we just didn’t have enough. As I watched her car back down the drive I wondered if this was it. If this was the final Mandy/Nick breakup. Maybe it should be. When two people are no longer sure they are good for one another, isn’t it time? Maybe. Just maybe it was time. But then, I’ve always had a lousy sense of timing.
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