Chapter Eighteen: On my Own
“He’s really sick.” AJ I know that! I’m the one with my face in the commode.
“Shit.” I felt a cool hand on my forehead. “Howie? Can you get the bag we brought on? His meds are in there.”
“Mike, this has to do with those tests Kevin was telling us about, doesn’t it?”
“Howie, let’s help Nick now and we’ll talk later.”
I know my mouth was occupied, but I still think it was rude of them not to invite me into the conversation. It was about me. But no matter. Michael was once again in charge. I got my face washed, my shoes, socks and shorts removed (Nobody panic - I had on boxers.) and given my medicine. Then, I was put to bed with a blankie, some juice, and a cookie. OK a cracker, but you get the point. I swear Howie was about to tell me a bedtime story.
“Nick why don’t you get some rest? We’ll talk when you’re feeling better.”
“But Howie and I were going diving.” I was in full pout. That’s what they get for turning on a night-light.
“I don’t think you will be doing any diving today Nickers. Just get some sleep.”
“You’re not taking a nap.” I was not being reasonable, but that had never stopped me before.
“I’m not sick.” AJ had a point. He also had that “I am about to make your pain much worse if you don’t do as I say” look.
“Fine, I’ll close my eyes, but I’m not taking a nap.”
I woke up about an hour later. Not because I was ready too, because someone was snoring. It wasn’t me. I never snore and I don’t care what Brian says. Why would you believe a man that has stinky feet?
It turned out the snorer was AJ, of all people. He had pulled a chair next to the bed. I guess he was keeping watch over me, but I myself find this difficult to do from behind closed lids.
I pushed the covers back and quietly sat up. I was feeling much better and there was still time to dive.
“Move and you’re a dead man.”
“I thought you were asleep.”
“I am. Now get back in that bed.”
“For your information I’m in bed.” Smarty pants. “I’m feeling better now and I’m getting up.”
“If you so much as put a foot on the floor I am going to make you wish you were bending over the commode puking your guts out because it would be a blessing compared to how you will feel when I am done with you.”
“I see.” I may be blond, but I never mess with AJ when he says this stuff in a normal tone of voice. “AJ?”
“Yes.”
“How long do I have to stay here?”
“Push your luck and it will be for the rest of your life. Now LIE DOWN.”
“I am.” I was now. “I’m not sleepy now.”
“Really? Then I guess we can have a little talk.”
“I lied. I need another hour.” I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head and hoped AJ had the morals to prevent him from killing a sick man.
“Roll over or I’ll beat your backside.” Gee he was in a bad mood.
“Fine.”
“Thank you.” AJ came over to sit next to me. It was such a nice show of support, a tender moment between friends. It was a better distance for strangulation. “Nick, that bathroom event has something to do with those tests, doesn’t it?”
“Aje ...”
“No shit Nick. No games. Spill.”
“Yea.”
“Yea? That’s all you have to say? Yea?”
“YES!” This would be the place where Kevin’s eyebrows shot up. With AJ you just get a pissed look. “I mean no. Hell.” I sat up against the headboard. I guess this was acceptable as AJ made no comment. “I started having some problems again a few months ago.”
“Months ago? Nick why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because ... because I was dealing with it! Well I was!” AJ looked skeptical. “AJ I was! I went to the doctor right away! He put me back on the meds and I took them just as ordered.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And did you do the other things you are suppose to do when you are having problems?”
“I got some exercise, more than I usually do.” I got up off the couch to change channels rather than use the remote. “And I did cut some fat and stuff out of my diet.” I had, and I had lost ten pounds, thank you.
“And your stress levels?” The big one.
“My stress levels?”
“Did you try to reduce them?”
“This was just a bad time! I had all that shit going on with my mom! She put those lies in the National Enquirer, and there was that bogus Internet posting. And then I had that cyber stalker, and we starting getting it right and left about ‘NSync selling better than us, that out time is over, and Kevin’s just wants to break their record and I just want mom to let me ...”
“Let you what?”
“Nothing.”
“I see. So you had really high stress levels. What did you do to reduce them?”
“What did I do?”
“Yes Nick. What did you do? You remember, you had therapy for three months, remember?” Vaguely. “You have skills and resources, that’s the correct term, right?”
Skills and resources. Yea, that was right. I had skills I had not used and resources I had not tapped.
“Let’s see, did you talk to your friends?”
“No.”
“Did you seek help from a third party?”
v “No.”
“Did you remove yourself from the stressful situation?”
“No. But I tried to fix it!”
“I see. Did you use your skills and resources for this? Nick? What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” Apparently. “So, let’s have a recap, shall we? You didn’t use the skills you learned, you didn’t tap into your resources, you didn’t call on your friends. Exactly HOW were you “handling” the situation? Hum? Nick? No answer? I see. In other words you sat on the situation until it became a problem that is now threatening your health. And that, in turn, impacts four other guys, namely Howie, Brian, AJ and Kevin, who would have bent over backwards to help you had you only asked. BUT NO. Nick didn’t want any help solving his problems because he is AAAAALLLLLLLL grown up now. He’s an adult. He can deal all my his lonesome. Fine. If that’s the way you want it, that’s the way you’ll have it.”
AJ pushed himself up from the bed, turned his back, and started for the door.
“Aje...”
He didn’t stop. He didn’t turn. He didn’t slam the door behind him. I was on my own.
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