Chapter Ten: Green Washcloth Tents 7:15 AMIf I’m
very, very still she might not notice me. Of course if she
didn’t notice me I would be hurt, but if she did I would be
embarrassed to the degree that I would have to walk in front of
the bus. I actually did walk in front of the bus once. I
wasn’t paying attention (Points to all of those who were
expecting this statement.) and just walked right in front. Kevin
hauled me back by my arm (I should call child protective
services. Having your arm yanked out of socket so many times must
count for something.) and gave me the ass-chewing of a life-time.
A 45 minutes blasting in front of 20 witnesses will keep any 16
year old in check. I’ve never walked in front of that damn
bus again, not even when it’s parked. I should break into this train of though, mainly
because it wasn’t going anywhere productive, to point out
that I was in the bed - naked - but Cecilia was sitting on the
edge-of-the-bed in a fluffy white bathrobe. Her hair was all
mussed, her face soft, like when you first wake up. Though this
might seem less intimate, I could tell that she had actually
slept next to me. For one, the other bed was made with clothes
and stuff on it, and two, the bed was warm and messed-up next to
me, the imprint of her head still on the pillow. Yea, I noticed
quite a few details, but this might not come again soon (Yes, I
know I said come, sue me.) and I might need these details for
what little bragging rights they were worth. “Nick, you awake?” Well, I have one eye
open (And I think it’s pretty impressive that I could notice
all that through one eye.), so maybe I’m only half-awake.
Which means I’m half-asleep. I hate that half stuff, which
way do you go? And that “is the glass half-empty or
half-full” crap. No matter how you pour it, it’s still
just half a glass of milk. Oh, I shouldn’t have thought of
milk. “Nick? You look like you might be sick. Are feeling
sick?” I was, but her hand on my forehead made all the
difference. “The waste-basket is right here by the bed, if
you need it.” Oops, I feel sick again. “No thanks. I’m fine.” At least
that’s what I intended to say. It didn’t come out that
way. For some reason my mouth seemed to be glued together. “What? No, never mind. Let’s get you in
the shower. You’ll feel much better after that. Then maybe
you would like some juice?” What I would really like is a
sledge-hammer. And I guess all the guys, as it would take all of
them to lift and strike me with enough force to kill me.
“Come on, sweetie.” There she goes with that sweetie
again!This statement had the most
interesting impact on me. I just lost all train of thoughts,
which is the only explanation I can give you for being half-way
to the bathroom, leaning heavily on Cecilia, before I remember
that I was naked. NAKED. I will refrain from describing the
stench that my body emitted. Thank the lord it didn’t emit
anything else. Anyway, I just went
with the flow. It was a little late to panic now. Besides,
Cecilia was so intent on getting me to the bathroom she
didn’t seem to notice anything else. As soon as my head
stops hurting I’m going to be insulted.Once in the really bright (not good for a
hangover) bathroom Cecilia sat me on the john, which is not
really conducive to anything other than looking pathetic , and
ran a bath. She explained that I was too wobbly to take a shower.
I thought it would have made it a hell of a lot more interesting,
but she didn’t seem to concerned with what I thought. Once the temperature was “just right”
Momma Bear helped me in. Ahhhhh. In my current state of agony
this was pure heaven. I was so wrapped up in the feeling that it
took me a few moments to realize that Cecilia had not left the
bath. On the contrary, that warm feeling I was now experiencing
was Cecilia, washing my back. Cecilia
is washing my back. Well, isn’t that interesting? What to
do, what to do. Make conversation. “Why
did you come get me?” There ya go Nicky. That doesn’t
sound like the babbling of a mad man. “I wanted to.” “I see.” I didn’t. But at the time
I wanted to keep her mind off the fact that I was naked,
therefore my privates were exposed. OK, that’s a lie. I
wanted to keep my mind of my privates. My privates, however,
seemed to have a mind of their own. Now
what do I do? What if she notices? If she notices I’ll die,
and she’ll think I’m a pervert. If she doesn’t
notice I’ll still die, but for an entirely different reason.
I’m so torn.Think Nick, think.
Of course this usually gets me in trouble, but what the heck. I
know, I’ll hide it! My first thought was to bend over, but I
realized that Cecilia would then have a bird’s-eye view of
my butt, and as at the time she was washing the top of it I
decided I didn’t need the exposure. No reason to encourage
the girl. So, I dropped my washcloth
over it. There ya go! A green tent in my bathtub. No way
she’s going to notice that. And if she does I can always
pass it off as too much starch. Damn hotel laundry. Of course she
could make a joke about it, like am I going to have a wiener
roast in my tent, but hell, the girl is not AJ.“Nick? Do you have the washcloth?” Hell
no!“Hell no!” Oops, there
I go with the out-loud thing again.“Does
your head hurt?” Yea, both of them. “Never mind, I
think there is another one on the shelf.” You go, girl. You know, it’s Kevin’s idea that I
think before I act. He thinks things would be better. I have no
idea what things, just things. But apparently these things do not
include camouflaging one’s woody with a washcloth. Because,
while I was busy thinking that Kevin would be proud that I was
thinking, Cecilia stood and crossed to the shelf. The shelf that
is in front of the bathtub. The shelf that did not have another
washcloth on it. The self that when she turned to inform me of
this new development gave her an excellent view of my new
development. “Nick?” I
looked up at her face, my train of thought broken, and noticed
that she had noticed. That’s what I get for thinking. And
I’m going to tell Kevin that to. The moron.
“Nick?” Oh, shut up. I’m extremely busy being
humiliated.I just kept looking up,
thinking (there I go again) that something would happen. Of
course something WAS going to happen, there was never any doubt
of that. The question was, would it permanently damage my psyche.
“I see you found the
washcloth.” “Well...yea.”“Are you using it?” Damn, she looked
amused.“Well...yea.” “What for?” I swear she really asked me
that. I know, I know. I couldn’t believe it either. “What for?” Excuse me while I stall for
time. An eternity should do it.“Nick?”
This question startled me. Not the content of the question, but
the fact that it was delivered at ear level. It seems that
Cecilia had squatted by the bath. This was bad. “Nick?”
Then I felt the warmth on my right thigh. “Nick?” The
gentle splashing as Cecilia dropped her hand into the water,
swirling it into gentle waves. “Oh, Nick! Earth to
Nick!” Great, she wants to have a conversation. Well,
I’m just not up for it right now. I couldn’t, I had
stopped breathing.“Nick?”
Apparently my heart had decided to join my respiratory system. I
was dead, there was no two ways about it. Of course, a certain
part of me had not caught on yet. “Are you cold? You have
goosebumps.” Must be from the lack of circulation. “We need to get you warm.” Good idea.
Why don’t you go get me a blanket. Or two. Or three. Heck,
why don’t you go knit one? “Maybe this would help.
Friction often does.” Friction? What’s she going to do,
rub two sticks together?Why, no. Not
at all. Cecilia had a whole new trick, rubbing a washcloth over
human flesh. Since it was convenient she decided to rub the flesh
the washcloth was already on. “Is
this OK?” Is what OK? “You still look cold. Maybe we
need more friction.” Which she then provided, with
enthusiasm. Fine. I should have
stopped it. I knew it was wrong. I should have remembered that
she was Kevin-who-will-cut-me-in
o-tiny-pieces-while-I’m-still-alive-and-enjoy-my-screams
Richardson’s girlfriend. But my brain had decided to take a
little walk. As I was a male and in the middle of a sexual
experience my brain was not necessary, and its absence meant my
heart and lungs could now function. Good thing, as I really
needed them at the time. “Easy
baby.” Easy? How can I take it easy? I’m not even doing
anything, except clutching the sides of the tub for all I’m
worth. If Kevin discovers us now he will just have to wait to
kill me. He couldn’t get me out of this tub, not without a
hacksaw. Frankly, I’m sure he’d enjoy that.Looking back on this experience it was much more
intense than the one with April. Maybe it was because April and I
were on the floor in the dark, you really couldn’t see
anything. Maybe it was because both April and I were equally
active. Maybe it was because we were both undressed. But now,
here, in such a well lit room (man, that light really bounces off
that white tile), maybe it was because Cecilia was so completely
in charge, maybe it was because I was naked and she was covered.
I have no idea, it just seemed to raise my level of awareness, of
what was happening, what I was feeling. And that awareness made a
significant impact on the unavoidable ending. “HOLY...” and then I went off.
Figuratively and literally. The next
thing I new I was slumped on the tiled wall of the tub while
Cecilia drained the now cold water and replaced it with clean,
hot liquid. Maybe she can get me a new conscious while she’s
at it. It hit me then. All of the
things I should have been thinking of. How wrong it was, that I
should have stopped it, KEVIN. Oh God, Kevin. How could I do this
to him? “ Are you all right,
baby?” “Yea.” If I go
with the affirmative maybe I can talk her into leaving faster.
Then I can slit my throat in private. “Yea, you are.” What did that mean?
“I just loved those noises you made.” What? What the
hell was she talking about? “Those whimpering sounds, they
were very exciting.” Oh no. please. “I felt very
powerful, so very female.” You damned well better be a
female! “You made me feel that way, Nick.” Glad I could
be of help. You wouldn’t happened to have a razor blade on
you, would ya? “Nick? Are you OK?” Of course. I’m
a louse, but I’m an OK louse. “What’s wrong,
baby?”“Don’t call me
that!” Sorry, but I’ve been so upset since the demise
of Bookie Bear. Things just seem to hit me wrong. “Nick?” “We
shouldn’t have done that.” Better late than never. “Well, we didn’t. I did!” Girl was
damned proud of it, too.“But...”Oh,
just say it. It wouldn’t be the first moment I had ruined.
“Kevin.” “Kevin? Oh,
honey no! This didn’t have anything to do with Kevin.”
Look! Cecilia can channel April! Now do someone interesting. Like
Hitler. “Nick, haven’t you noticed that I’ve had
my own room all week?” No. I’ve been busy! There have
been concerts to do, interviews, Nentendo to play....”Baby,
Kevin and I broke up last week! We were never really that tight,
and... well, it just wasn’t working out. He’s still in
love with Kristin, so...”“How
do you know that?” “Because
he kept saying her name in his sleep.” That would do it. “Oh. I’m sorry.” Wait a minute.
“So, this was ...”“A
way to get back at Kevin?” Damn girl could also read minds.
“No! Nick, I wanted to pick you up last night. And I
didn’t plan this! It just happened. Maybe I shouldn’t
have done that..if you’re upset with me I’ll
understand...it’s just...you looked so cute sitting there
trying to ... well, hell. I just got the urge, OK? It wasn’t
planned.” I see. “I
see.” And you know what? I did.
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