Chapter Five: Just Another Day on the Bus
AJ must have spread the word because no one mentioned the bear, which was fine with me. I sat in the back and worked on my list. Number one: loose the bear. Check. Of course my plans were to send him back to Angel, not homicide.
So number one was accomplished, number ten was still intact and numbers two through nine were blank. What to do, what to do?
Number two, stop putting peanut butter in peoples hair. If I must. Number three, no eating chocolate cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the same day. Painful as this might be, I am sure it will benefit me in the long run. Number four ... number four ....
“What ya doing?”
“NOTHING!” When will I ever learn?
“Let me see Nicky.”
“No.” The whiney voice should work.
“Fine! If your going to whine.” Yea me!
“Hey Howie, what you yelling about?”
“Aje, Nicky is keeping secrets again ... and he’s whining about them!”
“I am NOT whining!” This may make me cry. Oh, wait, I’m trying to grow up. Oh, number four: no crying to get my way. Should I include whining? Nah. My mom always told me not to grow up too fast.
“Yes you are. You always whine.” I wish I hadn’t put peanut butter on this list. Howie looks good in it.
“Let’s see what you have there, Nick my man.” Nick my man. AJ is acting like we are best buds. I’m doomed and I’m only sixteen. On the bright side I’m still a virgin, so I guess he won’t kill me. “Come on Nick, let ole AJ have a peek.” I wish he would kill me. That way I wouldn’t have to witness my total humiliation when he gets his hands on this list. I may delay the inevitable, but never stop it.
“No, it’s mine.”
“We want to see. Maybe it’s something that will help us.” Only if you need a good laugh at my expense.
“No.”
“Give.”
“No.”
“Don’t make me break your arm.” This was a real threat. The only body parts off limits are knees and throats. An arm will not prevent you from singing or dancing, therefore I had better give over or run like hell.
“OK, but it’s just ...” A quick fake to AJ and I flew by Howie, who is slow. Kevin is not. How he got into this mix I was not sure, but suddenly his leg was in the middle of my escape route. Of course it goes without saying that I tripped, flipped, and landed on a vital body part. Once Kevin had cracked my nose.
Today I had better luck.
“Nick! Are you all right?”
“Sure he is Kevin. He landed on his head.” Thank you, AJ.
“Here.” Kevin was nice enough to help me up. “You really all right?”
“Yea, I think so.” My headache was no worse, so what the heck.
“Good. Here.” Kevin was kind enough to grab my notebook.
“Hey! Kevin! Give that back!” Kevin was no longer in the mood to be kind. He tossed my notebook to AJ who, when I went to retrieve it, tossed it back. This nice little game of keep-away might have gone on for some time, or at least until I blew a gasket. But Howie saved the day by snatching the book in mid-throw.
“Got it!”
“Thanks Howie.” I held out my hand.
“You’re welcome Nicky.” Howie ignored my hand and ran for a bunk. “Come on guys! Let’s see what good old Nick has been up to!”
“HOWIE!” And I thought he was going to be nice to me. Why oh why do I think? BSB rule number six: Nick + thinking = wrong x ten thousand.
I decided there was no sense in standing around waiting for the hammer to fall. I considered throwing myself under the bus but our driver hates to make unscheduled stops. So I opted for the far back of the bus which has a couch. I thought I might find a place to hide there. I told you I shouldn’t think.
“Hey Nick.”
“Oh, hey Cecilia. I didn’t see you there.” Right there in plain sight.
“Come sit by me.”
“I don’t wanna bother you.” Yes I do.
“It’s no bother.”
“OK.” Thank you God for making small couches. Loveseats, I believe they are called. I wish.
A little known fact; I had a crush on Cecilia. I had hidden this information from the enemy with a determination that would have made Patton proud. I had stayed away from her at every chance, I had little to say to her when she was around, I had never brought up her name in a conversation. It was killing me.
“What have you been up to?” I guess Cecilia doesn’t spend much time with a bunch of guys. She didn’t seem to know how dangerous, or potentially gross, the answer to this question could be.
“I’ve just been doing my ....”
“Top ten list!” Kevin was all smiles. All slimy smiles.
“Bye Cecilia!” Time to exit, stage right.
“Nickers!” Kevin reached out to give what must have looked to Cecilia like a warm, brotherly hug. “You can’t leave now!” I could if you would turn me loose. “Let’s show Cecilia what you’ve been working on!”
“Kevin ...” Whiny voices for everyone! “I don’t want...”
“Now Nick! Don’t be so modest!” I’m not. Besides I think that requires breathing, which I am now incapable of as you have cut off access to my lungs below the third rib.
“Kevin, what are you up to?” Cecilia seemed a might confused. Intentional cruelty was not in her frame of reference.
“Nick’s been working on something, haven’t you Nick?” Oh no. Remember how I told you I’m not allowed to think? So, I thought, if I don’t say her name or do stupid stuff she will never know I have a crush on her. And since the guys would NEVER look at my private notebook I can write some stuff about her there .... a poem or draw a picture of her. It would be completely safe. I am a moron.
“No.”
“Now Nick, it’s not nice to lie!”
“I need to go.”
“Potty break, my man?” AJ sure knows how to embarrass a guy in front of his crush. Thank God the guys don’t know about that.
“Guess what else we found in good ole Nicky’s notebook?” My underwear size?
“Guess who Nick LIKES!”
“SHUT UP!” Man, can I get loud. “Just you shut up!”
“Oh, is Nicky all upset?” AJ loved to coo bad news.
The other guys were of no help. Howie was giggling - and I would like to point out at this time that the majority of gay rumors are about him. Care to guess why? Kevin was sitting down with his arm around Cecilia and his death ray vision on me. I guess he knew.
“Yea. Guess who Nick likes.” Yep. He knew.
“Good ole Nicky likes...” AJ decided to draw out the moment. I decided it was time to make my move. God, I wish I had a move. What no one was expecting was that Cecilia had one.
“I don’t care.” This statement stopped everyone cold; Howie’s giggles, AJ’s smirk, Kevin’s death ray, my death from total humiliation. “I don’t want to know, it’s not my business, and it’s not yours either.” With that she stood up and snatched the book from AJ, who had the good sense not to snatch back. “Here Nick.” She handed the book to me along with a really nice smile.
“IT’S YOU!” Howie just wanted to get his two cents in. After all he so rarely has the correct change. “He likes you, Cecilia!” The cat was out of the bag, and just my luck I’m allergic to them.
“Howie!” That’s all I heard as the sound of my running feet on the bus floor drowned out any further comments. I made it to my bunk and dived in. Safe at home! Or as close as I could get. On the other hand Cecilia now knew I had a crush on her. Worse, the guys knew it. The rest of this leg of the tour would be a living hell for me. Not that it was any different from other tours, but now I didn’t even have Bookie to comfort me.