Here are the poems that made Mr. Clay so famous.



The NEW Dice Rhymes

To my Valentine,
Today I was going to buy you a box of chocolates to eat but as it is you're a big, fat Ox. Instead, I'll shove the chocolates up your asshole and watch you suck on five of my friends cocks.

Happy Valentines Day!

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
A lightbulb was stuck up her ass
It woke up the spider who lived deep inside her
He said "hey, free electric and gas!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill
And Jack would try to hump her
Jill said "no", Jack said "so, I'll ram it in your
dumper!"

Twinkle Twinkle little star
Will she blow me in the car
Because I bought her dinner, she had fun
Now my balls are boiling and I'd like to cum

Old mother hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her old dog a snack
The cupboard was bare
She didn't despair
She let Rover munch on her crack

Peter Peter pumkin eater
Whacked off in the movie theater
Sprayed his load across the screen
And ruined Titanic's final scene

Hickory Dickory Dock
My balls fell out of my jock
I laid them to rest
On some hooker's chest
And paddled her face with my cock

*Thanks Peter*


Betty and Jack, up a tree
F-U-C-K-I-N-G
First cums Betty, then cums Jack
Then cums the goo out of Betty's crack

Little Boy Blue
He needed the money

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Jerked off in his girl friends eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie Fucked that one-eyed slut

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
A merry old soul was he
He chewed off his tit, ate his own shit
Washed it down with some tea

Roll, roll, roll your cunt
Gently down my prick
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Then you'll suck my dick

Hickory dickory dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two, I dropped my goo
I dumped the bitch on the next block.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That fuckin' Huar.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
Trim that pussy it's so damn hairy

Littly Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider,
Sat down beside her, And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her dog a bone
She bent over,
Rover took over
And she got a bone of her own

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So Jack ignored those flabby tits
And licked her asshole clean

Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
Your mother's a whore
I ain't your pop

Little Bo Peep fucked her sheep
Blew a horse, licked his feet
She ate his ass so very nice
Tongued his balls not once but twice

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
Had a wife, loved to beat her
Smacked her twice across the head
Fucked her ass and went to bed

Little jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating a pizza pie
He shit pepperoni, blew his friend Tony
And wiped his mouth on his tie

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Shine upn the parking lot
As I eat my girl friends twat

Three blind mice, see how they run
Where the fuck are they going?

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe
Suck my dick and swallow slow

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack burnt off his fuckin' dick
GWEEBUCKADEE!!!

There was an old lady
Lived in a shoe
She had so many kids
Her uterus fell out

Patty cake, patty cake
Baker's man
If your chick's on her period
Fuck her in the can

Mary had a little lamb
She kept in her backyard
When she took her panties off
His wooley dick got hard

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
That's more than my lazy wife does
That fat, fuckin' smelly babboon

Doe, a deer, a female deer
Ray,
The guy that fucked her ass

Rub a Dub Dub
Three men in a tub
Faggots have threesomes, too
So fuckin' what

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I fucked your mother's ass
And she had you