Transcripts
Finally, I made what I wanted to do for a while now: the
transcripts of the MTV event with the cast of BtVS. It's part of my update, I
actually display it for the first time. Which means: expect mistakes. I
tried to be as accurate as I could be, but some stuff I missed (you should find notes
indicating it) and some other I can have misinterpreted, if you actually spot a mistake, please tell me. I'm not gonna get mad, on
the contrary. The more mistakes are corrected the better the transcripts get, the
happier everybody is.
All the pictures displayed in this section are from "The Alyson Hannigan Altar"
MTV’s Videos that Do Not Suck -- Interventions by the BtVS Cast -- Halloween 1998
-- 01 --
Sarah: Hi, there! I’m Sarah Michele Gellar, also known as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You know after all the vampires I have killed, it’s pretty much to say I’m an expert on exactly what sucks and what doesn’t. So I sat down with the rest of the cast of Buffy, and collectively we have come up with hours upon hours of videos that are guarantied not to suck. In just a few seconds I’ll be joined by my cast mates: Nicholas Brendon Alyson Hannigan, Charisma Carpenter, Seth Green and David Boreanaz. But first let’s kick off the "Video that don’t suck" countdown with a video that I chose personally: "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys.
-- 02 --
Sarah: That was Busta Rythmes, with Dangerous. Seth can you tell us why you chose that video you? You like Busta rythmes? (this sentence I’m not sure of, I missed it…..arrrg!)
Seth: Yeah. I just want Busta Rythmes to know how much I love them.
Sarah: And up next is a video from Nick.
Nick: Why? Why Rage Against the Machine, Sarah?
Sarah: (laughing) Why Rage Against the Machine, Nicholas?
Nick: Huh… Bulls on Parade? Huh,… to be honest I just love bulls, that’s all.
Sarah: Well, then…
Nick: (interrupting her) coz they’ve rage.
Sarah: Here is Rage Against the Machine (laugh because Nick makes weird sounds) No bull. (He makes chicken sounds).
-- 03 -
-
David: That was DY Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince, with "Parents Just Don't Understand", and that was picked by Alyson. Huh, Alyson what’s up with why you picked it?
Alyson: Because I was begging my Mom for MTV, when that was being played all the time, and she just wouldn’t give it. So she just didn’t understand it. So that’s why I picked it.
David: Good enough. And when "Videos that don’t suck return", we’ll be back, Charisma and I, and we’ll give you some things that we like. So stay right here.
Alyson: What about me?
David: And Alyson.
Introduction of Charisma:
My name is Charisma Carpenter, and I play Cordelia Chase in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (some extracts are shown, while the theme is played) I think that the fact they are total opposite is probably the attraction.
Extract:
"Xander: Hey, Cordy. Nice outfit!
Cordelia: Oh, very funny!
Xander: Not really.
Cordelia: So why don’t you just keep your mouth shut!
Xander: Would you guys excuse me for a second. (take her apart) Do you want to go to the utility closet and make out?
Cordelia: God! Is that all that you ever think about? (thinking) Okay. "
-- 04 --
David: Welcome back on "video that do not suck", I’m David Boreanaz and this is Chari….
Charisma: Charisma Carpenter
David: Charisma Carpenter. She can say her own name. And along with the whole cast of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", we guarantee we picked videos that do not suck.
Charisma: Although our characters don’t get along in the show and don’t see eye to eye, we have…
David: (interrupting her) I don’t agree with that, but…
Charisma: You don’t?
David: Yeah, sometimes we do.
Charisma: Okay.
David: But usually we don’t.
Charisma: Alright, …he looks after my neck.
David: Hun hun.
Charisma: And we have mana, managed to find, huh, a video that we both love.
David: We did along in this video, and it’s Madonna’s "Ray of Light".
Charisma: It’s very good.
David: It’s excellent. And after that Sarah Michele Gellar is gonna come back and she’s gonna give you some "hell long" videos that she likes. So stick around.
-- 05 --
Sarah: That was one of my picks: Mya featuring Sillk The Shocker with "Movin' On" . And don’t you move, coz my co-star Seth Green with anther one of his favorite videos. It all happen here, on "Videos that do not suck".
Introduction of Seth:
My name is Seth Green, I’m playing Oz. (Theme & extracts) … working for 18 hours with in a full-make-up suit and make it look like it’s not a guy in a suit.
Extract:
"Willow: Oz What’s wrong? (He transforms behind the couch, making noise. Then stands up) Aaaaaah!!!
Oz/Willow relationship is what everybody’s relationship should be, I think, huh. It’s just 2 happy people, made for each other.
Extract:
(Kiss) Oz: "A werewolf in love…".
-- 06 --
Nick: Hey! Nick Brendon here, huh… and Seth Green, and Alyson Hannigan. We, we’re only 3 members from the enti…, from the huge cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We’re here for hours, counting down videos, …for you, a-an-an-and they are actually videos that, that, that, that don’t suck. So Seth as picked a video, Beck, correct? A promised land?
Seth: No,its …
Nick: (interrupting him) "Pollution"!
Seth: It’s "New Pollution", yeah.
Nick: "New Pollution", yes! Talk about it.
Seth: I picked it because it’s a good video with a lot of dancing, and… and it’s touches some key political issues that children, and people, are dealing with today.
Nick: I respect you for that, man.
Alyson: (Quickly intervening) Okay, so up next (Nick does as if he’s making out with Seth behind, Alyson tries to stay serious) Beck, "New Pollution". And then we’ll have a Nick pick.
Nick: Nick pick!
Alyson: And will separate these two… hum!
-- 07 --
Alyson: That was n’ Sync with "Tearing up my Heart", pick by Nicholas.
Seth: Nick, why would you pick that video?
Nick: Well, Seth, because I’m a big fan of ‘n Sync, and they… had joy to my day.
Alyson: And up next we’ll have a video hand picked by David Boreanaz, so stay tuned.
Nick: I’ve got all there pictures on my walls.
Alyson: Name them.
Nick: Joe, Mathew, Scott, Todd and Stew. I love you guys.
Alyson: CrazY!!!
Introduction of David:
I’m David Boreanaz, I play Angel. He’s a 240 years old vampire, with conscious, huh, they got lifted last year and he was evil. And now he’s his conscious back, so he’s tormented once again. (Theme & extracts) Buffy and I were in this huge sword fight, and I was evil and before she stops me, with the sword in the heart, I turned back to being good. Huh, so the sword went through the heart, closed the mouth of Acathla, and I’m summing in hell
Extract (when he’s stabbed)
I was pretty drafty.
-- 08 --
Alyson: I’m Alyson Hannigan, and this David Boreanaz and we are from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Aaand,… this next video is one of David’s pick. What is it David?
David: It’s U2, "Where the Streets Have No Names".
Alyson: And why did you picked it?
David: Because it was shot, documentary style, right here in the streets of Los Angeles, and …and it shows great images. And it’s live, and it’s real.
Alyson: Watch it!
-- 09 --
David: Okay we’re back.
Nick: (hitting with books) Sorry.
David: Put your books away. (again) C’m on! (again) Common let’s put this books away. (laugh from the girls) That, that was actually a video pick of Charisma’s "Virtual Insanity", by Jamiroquai. Charisma, why did you pick that video (almost laughing) I mean I would like to know. And I’m sure Seth would, and Nick.
Seth: I’m very interested.
David: Very interested about this.
Charisma: I don’t remember picking that one. (Confusing talk at once of Seth and David) Just kidding. No, I like it, because the floor moves, it really, huh,…pretty cinematography, lots of colors.
Nick: And lets not forget the floor moves.
Charisma: (laugh), the floor moves, no I really like…
David: and the walk to, right?
Charisma: the way he walked, and…
Seth: Okay, I gonna step in.
Charisma: Thank you.
Seth: I picked the video, it a Beastie Boys. It’s "Hey Ladies". And the main reason I picked it, it’s it’s that I, I feel, it’s cinematic line of movement, texture and color to…
Nick: (interrupting him) Seth why did you picked it?
Seth: It’s a fine example of…
David: Did you go to film school?
Seth: I did, as a matter of fact.
David: Where did you go?
Nick: If you read the Q-cards set,
Seth: I went to…I went to Barbara (note: I think, they are all over-speaking each others…)
Nick: … I’m supposed to ask you the reason why you picked it.
Seth: Oh, yeah? Alright, so, here is "Hey Ladies".
Nick: Oooh Yeaaah!
-- 10 --
Sarah: That was Lauren Hill with Doo-Hoo (That Thing), as chosen by "moi"! Keep it here, coz when "Video that don’t suck" return we’ll have a video hand picked by Nicholas Brendon.
Introduction of Nick:
My name is Nicholas Brendon and I play Xander LaVelle Harris. My favorite episode so far, as to be, huh probably, a little episode I’d liked to call "Everybody loves Xander". But the studio and network liked to call it "Bewitched, bothered and bewildered"
Extracts
"Amy: Diana... Goddess of love and the hunt... I pray to thee. Let my cries bind the heart of Xander's beloved.
Xander: I think we lost them.
Willow: I should've known I'd find you with her.
Xander: Will... Come on, you don't wanna hurt me.
Willow: Oh, no? You don't know how hard this is for me. I love you so much! I'd rather see you dead than with that bitch."
It was just, just a lot of fun for me to do.
-- 11 --
Alyson: Hi! I am Alyson Hannigan, and this Nicholas Brendon. And we are from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and MTV as given us free reins to play whatever videos we want. So Nicholas has pick this next video which is?
Nick: Offspring. "Self-esteem".
Alyson: Why did you picked that?
Nick: Because when I was a young laddy I didn’t have much self-esteem.
Alyson: Hun hun.
Nick: Yeah.
Alyson: So here is that next video and…
Nick: (interrupting her) but I have it now!
Alyson: That’s good. A-and, and, and…
Nick: A lot of self-esteem.
Alyson: And, and Seth Green is up next. Get rid of Nicholas. (kisses him)
Nick: Ow!
Alyson: Does it hurts
Nick: It hurts.
-- 12 --
Sarah: And now with Seth’s pick, 9 Inch Nail, with "Closer"…
Seth: (changing his voice) And (??? Didn’t got it, sorry) and I have a top update for everyone. (laughs).
Buffy: "Videos that don’t suck" and the cast of "Buffy" will return with a pick of my very own David Boreanaz. Don’t go away.
-- 13 --
Charisma: Hi, I’ Charisma (something falls making noise, laugh) Caaarpenter… and I’m here with the co-star of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", David Boreanaz.
David: (interrupting) That’s me.
Charisma: That’s him. And, (laugh) and we’re, huh… we’re playing our favorite videos. And we promise that they don’t suck. I promise. And I’ll be bringing you one of my favorites in just a minute, but first David has chosen a video for us. Lenny Kravitz. David, why?
David: Huh, because Lenny is a true artist. And it, it’s really no explanation to why not pick Lenny, He’s really cool.
Charisma: And he’s very hot.
David: And he has cool clothes too.
Charisma: Yeah.
David: So check it out. Check out Lenny Kravitz.
Charisma: He has a tattoo around his belly. Doesn’t he has a tattoo around his belly?
David: I don’t know. Look at it.
Charisma: Stay with us.
-- 14 --
Seth: (Speaking fast) Okay! You saw Lenny Kravitz as chosen by David, and then you just saw a Dave Matthews, which Charisma picked. How come? (both Charisma and David laugh).
David: (finishing laughing) which I picked Lenny Kravitz because I like, because…
Charisma: I think he asked me…
David: Go ahead.
Charisma: Okay, huh…
Seth: Charisma, why?
Charisma: Why?… Huh, I picked it because my niece, Chrissie it’s her favorite video. Hi, Chrissie!
David: And I picked Lenny, just because Lenny is Lenny.
Seth: Great, great, great. It’s one Aly’s picks is up next, so stay right here for more videos that, what guys?
Chorus: Don’t Suck!!!
Seth: Worrrdd!
Alyson: Oh, yeAH!
-- 15 --
Introduction of Alyson:
My name is Alyson Hannigan, and I play Willow Rosenberg. (Theme & extracts). Willow got interested in Witchcraft, basically through Miss Calendar, who was a teacher of last season, who died. Willow sort of, you know, went through her files and sort of, studied everything that she was doing, and got intrigued by it. And still continues to, to do little spells here and there. (extract). She restored Angel’s soul again... he owe me!
Alyson: Hi! Welcome back to "Videos that don’t suck". I’m Alyson Hannigan, and this is Nicholas Brendon, and we are from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". Huh. And our entire cast has been, huh, given the, the rights, to play tons of videos that we got to pick ourselves. And one of mine is coming up, if you may have known that from before the commercial. But first, we have to, watch one Nick’s video. Which is actually a lovely video, what, what’s that video Nicholas?
Nick: It’s a, a band, that, that’s an upcoming band. I’m a big fan of it, it’s called "Hole". And, and the, the song I’m gonna play for you is called, huh, "Celebrity Skin". Or has some of my friend say "Sselebrity Skkin". But that’s speech mistake, and also a lazy act.
Alyson: Okay…
Nick: Why did I picked that video?
Alyson: Yeaaah!
Because I like saying "HoOole". Say it.
Alyson: Okay.
Nick: Say "Hole".
Alyson: Up next…
Nick: Say "Hole".
Alyson: "HOOles". Celeb…
Nick: (interrupting her) Say "Hole". It’s funny
Alyson: Hun, hun. Okay.
Nick: Hole.
Alyson: Okay, Beavis.
Nick: Hole. Hole
Alyson: "Celebrity Skin", Hole.
Nick: Hole.
Alyson: And then, my video.
Nick: Which is not "Hole".
Alyson: Stay tuned. I think you’ve a hole in your head!
Nick: MmmmunrrrRgh!
-- 16 --
Alyson: Up is a video that David chose.
David: Tom Petty, "Don’t Come Around Here No More". And, and I, I think it didn’t suck, besides because David Semoyl (note; the name is phonetic…so tell me if you know the correct spelling) loves it, I personally loves because I’m a ‘Sixties-guy’, and very classic rock, and it’s one big trip.
Alyson: Alright!
David: Don’t put your caps too hard for that one.
Alyson: And after this video, we’ll have a Sarah pick.
David: It’s all good.
Alyson: Stay tune.
-- 17 --
Alyson: It was Garbage, "I think I’m Paranoid", picked by both Seth and Sarah. Why?
Seth: Well, it’s because, I think they’re following me, Alyson. Quiet frankly, they’re tracking my every moves with the homing-unit they implanted in my uterus.
Alyson: Okay! And up next we’ll have more. Aaand a pick from Nicholas.
-- 18 --
(extracts of Buffy fighting [like when she blasts the judge]).
Sarah: Hay, everyone. I’m Sarah Michele Gellar. My fellow Buffy-cast mates and I are counting down our favorite videos. We picked them ourselves, so we guarantee that, unlike vampires, they don’t suck. Like this next video, which I gave my personal seal of approval. Here’s Marilyn Manson with "the Dope Show".
-- 19 --
Seth: That was two huh, videos from Nick. Black Eyes Peas and Brian Setzer. Nick, who’s a huUge Black Eyes Peas fan, why, why did you picked those videos?
Nick: Because I’m a huge Black Eyes Peas fan.
Seth: I actually, I..
Nick: I mean that’s been redundanting, isn’t it? Seth Green… And then the Brian Orchestra, huh, oh yeah, huh, I big into the band. The big band. Didn’t you get it?
Seth: Wow! Alright.
Nick: Yeah!
Charisma: (finishing to laugh) When we return we’ll have a video that I hand picked. And I promise you that it doesn’t suck. (Seth & Nick fooling around behind her) Oh, my God I gotta go…
-- 20 --
Nick: (taking a funny voice) Hello, I’m Nicholas Brendon, this is Charisma Carpenter, this is Seth Green. Huh, we’re from the show on TV. Charisma picked a song here, from the band Live, called "Lightning Crashes", which is…
Charisma: (interrupting him) I love your accent! (laughs)
Nick: Live. Charisma, why did you picked that song?
Charisma: I picked Live, coz it’s one of my faaavorite songs. And it really touched me and moved me when I heard it and saw the video. And I like…
Seth: (interrupting her) Last time I was in the airport, and ??? gave me, huh you know ,a buck.
Nick: Yeah. Yeah. That’s cool, man.
Seth: A Christian buck. Here’s live.
Nick: Here’s a series of videos.
Charisma: Live.
-- 21 --
Alyson: Blur, "Song 2".
Seth: Why did I picked it? Well, because it was so plucky and pleasant.
Alyson: Okay. Don’t go away, because when we come back, we’ll have a Nicky pick. And then we’’ crack the top 10.
Seth: Oooh, YeaAaah. Top 10!
Alyson: Stay here. Stay there. Go to the bathroom, but come back.
-- 22 --
Alyson: "Videos that don’t Suck", brought to you by the entire cast of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". I’m Alyson Hannigan, and this wonderful man is Nicholas Brendon. Hum-hun. Haaa. Okay. And, and the next video was a choice, chosen by…
Nick: Huh, my next video, I, huh, chose Alanis Mauricette, "Thank You". Huh, for two reasons actually. Huh, one is because, huh, the video is weird. Secondly, huh, when I was a child and I would do nice things, and nobody would ever say "thank you" to me. And I feel she’s personally saying "thank you" to me. So Alanis,… (taking his breath)… you’re welcome!
-- 23 --
David: That was Pearl Jam, "Jeremy", as picked by Charisma, here. Coz the video didn’t suck, and why do you think it didn’t?
Charisma: Huh, because Eddie Vedder made it up, and wrote it, and sing it. And I really like him. And Damien told me to. So… well you picked the next one, what one is it?
David: Huh, "Every Breath You Take", by the Police.
Charisma: Really?
David: Because, you take my breath away
Charisma: I do?!
David: Yeah.
Charisma: My God, I’m so embarrassed! Okay, so why don’t you check it out, and then we’ll see a pick from Seth Green next.
-- 24 --
Seth: Heeey.
Charisma: That was Nirvana, it came in number 7, the song was "Sliver". Seth why did you…
Nick: (interrupting her) WhyYy?
Seth: Coz it rocks! And I never see it.
Nick: Good. Okay, so don’t go away, because when we come back there gonna be some others songs. Picked by me, Nicholas Brendon,
(extract)
-- 25 --
Alyson: Welcome back to "Videos that don’t suck", with us, the cast of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".
Seth: We’ve been showing a bunch of our favorites videos, that hopefully, you think that they don’t suck. We’ve got one coming up from David Boreanaz, but first, here’s Nicholas Brendon’s. What did you picked Nicholas?
Nick: I picked Everclear, "Father of Mine".
Seth: Why did you picked that, Nick?
Nick: I just liked, huh, the tune. To be honest.
Alyson: Well, watch it.
Nick: Father of mine. Tell me where have you been.
Seth: Pom. Pom.
Nick: You know I just close my eyes,
Seth: Pom. Pom.
Nick: …my whole world…
Seth: Pom. Pom.
Nick: …disappear.
-- 26 --
Nick: And now is a video picked by Charisma. (taking a deep voice) What are you gonna do with you life? Seth: I wanna roOock!
Nick: (with his normal voice again) So, Charisma, why Twisted Sisters? Really. Why?
Charisma: Coz it’s so outrageous.
Nick: Huh-oh. Nody-nody-nody.
Seth: And then, right after you watch all these commercials, we’re gonna have the pick that I picked. It’s good.
Nick: (goofy voice) We’re nooot gooonna take it. Hun-hun-Ahaaa…
-- 27 --
Alyson: Hi! Welcome back to, huh, "Videos that don’t suck". I’m Alyson Hannigan, and…
Seth: (interrupting to quickly whisper his name) Seth Green.
Alyson: ..and that’s Seth Green. And, we’re here, along with the other members of the cast of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". And we’re showing you videos that don’t suck. Seth, your video is up next, what is it?
Seth: Huh, it’s a video that I don’t think it sucks. It’s Green Day, "Basket Case". Because they are a great band, and, huh, they’re breaking a lot of stuff in that video, and basically, taking a lot of medication.
Alyson: Fasten you seat belts. (laughs).
-- 28 --
Sarah: That was Nathalie Imbruglia, with "Torn". Well we’ve make it, we’re all ready for our number video. It will be waiting for you when "Videos that don’t suck" returns.
-- 29 --
Sarah: Okay. We’re down to our very last video, here on "Videos that don’t suck". I’m gonna get the rest of the cast so we can all enjoy the moment together. While I’ll do that, why do you guys take a look at all the videos that brought us here.
(Buffy theme & review of all the videos)
Sarah: Okay, is everybody ready? It’s been hours and hours and hours, but we made it.
Charisma: I’m so happy! That video that doesn’t suck, was chosen by… guess who?
Seth: Alyson, although everybody loves this band coz they rock.
Alyson: So the number 1 video that doesn’t suck is, Beastie Boys, "Sabotage".
Charisma: Why, Alyson? Why?
Alyson: Because, I love the video. I think ,Spike Jones, the director is just brillant.
Nick: Do you want to,… Never mind. So I and the entire cast of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", we all, huh,…
Charisma: Proudly present…
Nick: …proudly present the number 1 video, that for us…
Chorus: Doesn’t Suck!!! Sabotage!
Charisma: Sabotage!
Alyson: SabotaAaage!
-- 30 --
Sarah: Well, that’s about does it for "videos that don’t suck". Thanks for hanging out with us, I hoped you enjoyed our favorite videos. We’ll see you next time on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". See you then.
Back to the "Videos that Do Not Suck" Section
