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The following is incase something happens to me. Just incase I die or lose the ability to speak, etc. This is basically my will.

This is for everyone who knew me well or not at all.

For Dianna:

I want you to take Skittles, my cat. You and Jon can take car of her when you two get married. I’ve known you for 13 years. No one, nothing supernatural or on this earth can break the bond that you and I have. You and I are strong. I trust you with my life. Depending on how and what happened to me, I trustED you with my life. ::smiles:: You and I have a supernatural connection. Look at the way we met. Collecting rocks? Remember? Always keep the memories of you and I close to you. You were the first one to cheer me up, and the last one to let me down. I will always have you in my heart. You are my sister-no matter how many blood analysis’ and background tests prove otherwise. ::smirks::

For Jon:

I KNOW in my heart that you are my brother. I have known you before somehow, and I will never forget you. The connection between you and I was something familiar. We did not meet accidentally. You protect me.

Everything I’ve ever felt, heard, thought or known, you know. The same thing happens to you. This is good and bad. I will never forget the night my heart stopped. Do you remember that feeling? I will never forget the memories of you and I as children, (only you understand what I am saying now). You gave to me a new sense of adventure. 'Big brother'...sound familiar doesn’t it?

For Mike:

You give me strength…a Leo quality. You helped me when I was scared.

I know that there is a connection between you and I. You had suggested that we are like cousins. So much confusion clouds my mind right now, and that is why I am afraid to put this here. I feel like maybe I want to be something more, but I’m not certain. I would NEVER want to hurt or piss off Amanda by letting you or her know how I feel (or think I feel) about you. Amanda is a wonderful girl and I don’t want to mess anything up.

For Megan:

I only wish I had met you sooner. When you are around, all the crazy shit that’s happened to me or in my life goes away, and I can only see the best my life can be ahead of me. You gave me some of the best of times, and at times you were the only person to turn to when my world was falling to pieces. I will never forget what you’ve done for me. You’ve given me my world back-you’ve shown me that there is always a better place to go…always another day to live.

For Matt:

You are the one I look up to most. I respect you so much, and I guess that’s what makes me a tag-a-long. You showed me how to never give up. You showed me that music is life. That friends are life…how everything revolves around friends and family (even though sometimes family gets a bit annoying). You helped me realize that sometimes hope may be the last thing to hold on to, but if you can hold on long enough, something better always waits for you.

For Tony Smith:

I used to have the biggest crush on you last year. :] But so did Megan and I wish now that she had told me before. You can tell me everything and anything, and I’m glad we didn’t ruin that…I like it better this way.

Pete Doherty:

I miss you so much since the whole Army thing. When Tony and I had that big thing over Nikki, you were my closest friend. Before that, I had no idea that you were so compassionate. I value you as a close friend, and I never wanted you just for ciggs. I almost cried when I thought that’s what you believed. (I DO NOT cry…hardly ever, so you know that it hurt me to know that you thought that I didn’t value you as a friend).


You always hugged me when I needed it, and saw to it that I actually went to SOME of my classes. Thank you for the support, I will never forget it. You helped me through some of the toughest times.


On the night of Jon’s party…I had NO idea what I was doing, and I want to say I’m sorry (that is, if you actually give a shit). I had thought that I liked you a lot, and I thought you shared the same feelings. I never wanted to hurt you. Apparently, your feelings are not what I thought. I want you to know that before that, I never talked to anyone about the way I feel about religion. I thought that we really connected that night. Please, please BE YOURSELF. I do miss you even if you do hate me.


I begin to think I like you (like that) but then I realize it’s probably because of what happened. Mary told me that you wanted to be a father. If I’m gone, I’m sorry about that whole thing. I miss you a lot.

Joey Comitale:

:P I'm sorry about that thing that JUST happened. I still believe that you like THAT GIRL that we talked about. IF you do, go for it. DON'T be afraid of rejection or something stupid like that. If you DONT than I understand. :]


I thought we had some sort of soulmate thing. I guess I was wrong. I know that I really pissed you off at times, but that was because every time I was around you, you would always do something that really got to me (like judge me or my friends). But before that, every time I was around you, I got this giddy feeling and I became really immature. My real self isn’t immature…but hey, when I’m around my friends, it’s hard not to be. I am sorry about the Scott thing. I feel like it is my fault, but everyone (that I have told…only a few people) has said that it is in fact not because of my doings. I start to miss you, and then I remember how much of a hypocrite you have become. You really are a paradox-inside; you and I are the same. Recently, I've talked to you...and I still want to be near you. Maybe that's because of what we used to have. But I move on.

Scott Older:

Fuck you. Just fuck you. For what you have done to Brandon, for what you have done to me, for all the shit you put everyone through just by being around. I hope that someday you learn how to avoid being such an asshole and a hypocrite. Maybe then you can get some friends.

Tiffany, Cassie, Mary and Jessica:

Never let the fun stop. I wish I’d known you better.

James (Tiffany’s BF);

Keep singing and listening to KoRn, and Limp Bizkit.

James (Po):

Never forget about Troupe in Christmas of 98. Join another play again soon.

Joe D. and Joe Wakefield:

SORT OUT YOUR PROBLEMS. You two were always good for a laugh and were my friends. I always tried to help you out (Joe Wakefield). Keep smoking. No, seriously. I wouldn’t stop…. Unless that’s how I died. :0


At times in my life, (pretty much through seventh and eight grade) you were the friend that never forgot to call, always made an effort to help out, and never, ever, demeaned or degraded me. For that alone, I love you as my best friend.

Laura and Alison:

I don’t know Nate enough to put him in here. For that I’m sorry. I love you so much, you two. Thank you for being there on all those cold Christmas Mornings and holiday festivities.


I’m sorry that if at times it felt that I wasn’t there for you…this is mostly because I was never at school. You are a dear friend. Thank you for being there for me.

Mike Lupo:

You’ve always been there for me. I’ve told you things that I couldn’t tell any other guy. You always gave the best ‘bear’ hugs. Keep working out to keep those manly Tai-tas firm!

Aaron (and Natasha):

Aaron, I’m sorry for all that you have been through. I wish I could take away your pain. But all I can do is fix your report cards and get you ciggs. Natasha, take care of him. Please. He loves you more than you will ever know.

Sean Benway:

Always eat a banana for breakfast. Just eat it. Don’t do obscene things with it for god sakes!


My god. ICP. Fix the hair.

Rob Knight:

Thanks for the fun times in the library.

James and Nicole:

James, you’re such a stoner. I love it. Nicole, you were always acting so shy. It was so cute.

Joe Edmund:

I miss you. Remember the fair? God…. That was so fun.

Josh and Nick:

You guys always cheered me up, and beat me down for smoking. But it was fun. Nick, you have beautiful eyes. Josh, you have a wonderful spirit.


You are a new friend, but no less a friend. Your cheerfulness always helps me.

Amanda, Vince, Neil and Jamie:

I hope you guys always stay togther. Amanda, stay positive. Vince...yes, I can be sentimental. Neil-keep playing laser tag!


You were my best online friend. Only wish that you could be closer to me. You were always there to comfort me in my own fucked up life. Amanda Newbold and Erin Wilson:

I miss you and I hope that you both have better lives where you are now, where-ever you may be. Friendships should never end with a phone call and a simple goodbye. The good friendships should never end. I’m sorry that we drifted apart.

Jim (from the fair;water shooting game):

I miss you, but I’ve moved on. I had to. I will never really know if I ever meant anything to you. I will never really know if you will ever read this, or if you really care. I remember the first time I saw you and your bright blonde hair. You had said something into the microphone but I couldn’t see you. I was so baked I thought God was talking to me. I had the most fun at the fair this year. I know I will never see you again. I’m probably a stupid kid to cling on to that…but If you ever read this -‘Bye,’


My favorite Trent Reznor. You've always been there to make me laugh and you're a great guy. Mary:

You really pissed me off at times, but I always will love you as a sister. I never used you, or if I did, it was inadvertently and I am truly sorry. You never forgot to call and always tried to be there for me.

Andrew Turon:

God, to me you look just like Jim. I used to have such a crush on you a few years ago. Thanks for actually giving me back my cape.

Pete Marijuana…er…Carijuana:

You are so sweet. I hope I made it to your party, given the fact that I am writing this three weeks before it.


You’re so adorable. Stay that way. Never let sex get in the way of anything, ok? It’s NOT WORTH IT.


I don’t know much about you, but just keep going to the Wendy’s drive-thru without a car. :]

To my entire family:

I love you all. Thank you for the money, gifts, and most of all, the love.

To my Mom:

I couldn’t always tell you about everything, but I knew you would always be there when I needed you. Thank you for trying hard to be a good parent when you knew you couldn’t always be the best. Just by trying to be a good parent makes you the best parent. Thank you for raising me in a warm house, for cleaning my room even when you knew damn well that I should be doing it. Thank you for disciplining me when I thought I didn’t need it. Thank you for all the Valentine’s days filled with hugs and kisses. Thank you for all those cold winter mornings when you brought me breakfast in bed. Thank you for all the times you’ve loved me even when I didn’t say ‘I love you,’ back. I’m saying it now- I love you.

To my dad:

Thank you for always showing me the humor in things. Thank you for raising me like a son, even though I am a girl. This helped me be strong, and now I realize how strong I need to be. I need to be strong for myself, for my family, for my friends and for my life. Thanks for all the Monty Python movies and records. Thanks for never letting me down. Thanks for all those summer days when you drove my friends and I down to the pool. Thanks for all the love tied up in ribbons and bows. Thanks for all the times I’ve begged you to drive me somewhere and told you it was the last time I’d ever ask you for anything. Thanks for all the late-night McDonalds food when I wasn’t supposed to be up past ten. Thank you. I love you.

To all the forgotten, to all the unknown, to all those who feel abandoned:

Never give up. Never lose hope. Not every day is brighter, but those tough days add to character. There is always another bird in the bush or something. You can always hit two rocks with one bird. Never count your blessings before they hatch. Duct-tape is a man’s best friend. Ok, ok…this part is just for the people who actually read the whole thing. Thank you.

I love all of you so much it stings.


I will update this to include people that I meet or have not included.

You are listening to: 'Anxious Heart' on Final Fantasy VII