Donna's Story
Many Lymies have paranoid, questionable feelings. They are afraid to be around people they don't know. They are unsure of themselves. Why is that? It is because we all have a controversial, questionable, enigmatic, unknown bacteria growing in us. There is always one symptom or another lurking to remind us of its prescence inside of us. We have to adapt to becoming a totally different person from the one we were before; physically and mentally.
We have to get acquainted with this alien living inside us. This all consuming, mind altering alien growing in us, reminding us every minute of the day that there is something else there. Something that was never there before. Some uninvited guest we can't get rid of. We have to learn about who we are now. Get to know a totally different person than the one we grew up to be.
This new person, in our same body, that this alien has created. We have to come to some common ground with someone we never knew before - but who is who we are now. We walk different now, talk different, think different, feel different and have different friends; people that we would have never met in our entire lifetime, if it weren't for this alien inside of us.
And we have to succumb to ridicule, denial, doubt, humiliation, insults. We have to learn to lead a different life entirely, without a choice. And this uninvited visitor never lets us rest. It's constantly slapping us in the face. Taking us over. And we don't have enough ammunition to fight it. An invasive phenomenon. A control. It is shaping our lives in a totally different pattern than what any one of us expected our life to become.
This alien inside of us. This alien, who we have to get to know, to adopt, to accept, if we choose to exist. No wonder we are paranoid and withdrawn and unconnected. I feel more connected to others who also have this alien inside them then I do to the person I was before. That is why I will have to get like this person that this alien has created and I have become; And learn to love this person, in order to exist..
I won't let the alien take over completely and destroy the only thing I have left - my spirit; the one and only thing about me that has not changed. I realize I must accept what has changed. BUT, OVER EVERYTHING ELSE, I AM DETERMINED THAT MY SPIRIT WILL RULE.
Well, there it goes. Hope you don't think I'm too nuts -- just my feelings in a nutshell. Not poetic, or even philosphical. Just how I feel... I think many others may relate to this. Let me know what you think.
Donna
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