Jackie D's Story

I was misdiagnosed for at least ten years. Lyme Disease took control of my knees and hips. I was in so much pain. And this disease had already gone to my brain. I was drinking out of control, I was depressed and suicidal. I checked myself into a detox and from there went to rehab. I stayed in rehab for 7 days and demanded to be released, and was.

I came home and cried all time; depression, panic attacks. I was always planning -- how would I take my life, and each month I would come up with a new plan. Each day it would play over and over in my head do it, just do it. I would run upstairs and grab the rosary beads and pray. Please , make my mind understand that LD the great imitator wants me to die. I fought this disease, and with the help of a great psychiatrist, I won. I have never been in so much pain, mentally or physically.

How do you win this losing battle? Today I am not suicidal but, I am not Jackie either -- nothing is the same. It took my life away from me. I am always in pain, I still have panic attacks, I don't go out anymore -- this is years now. I don't even go to family functions. I am tired of living this life. I am actually dead -- this is nonexistence.

But I want to fight. I am angry. I want to walk to Washington and stop the traffic with picket signs & t-shirts that read I have chronic Lyme Disease and YOU are going to listen to us. WE WILL NOT BE SILENT ANY LONGER. THE GOVERMENT CREATED THIS DISEASE AND I WANT THEM TO CURE IT. I WANT ANSWERS.

Jackie Dileo

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